Because one of my friends broke up with her boyfriend because she didn't feel a spark in the first kiss but he was nervous. I think that my friend is thinking too much of it. Am I right?
2006-12-29 16:10:40 · 14 answers · asked by veolapaul 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Not necessarily. I wouldn't refer to it as a spark, just a "thing." When my boyfriend and I first kissed I felt something that I didn't feel with anyone else. It was absolutely wonderful. We've been a couple and living together for over four years, now, and I really can't imagine being with anyone else.
I don't necessarily think that "thing" needs to be felt on the first kiss, though. Before my boyfriend and I officially started dating he wanted to kiss, but I wasn't ready to for a little while. When we finally kissed it was magical. If I'd just given in and kissed him when he first wanted me to I probably wouldn't have felt anything. How long have her and her boyfriend been together? I'd give it at least a month before deciding, "well, I just don't feel anything special when I kiss him." The thing is... someday some gorgeous guy who's really a player is going to come along and make her fall in love with him. And she's going to feel those sparks when she kisses him, but he's not going to feel anything special or even think anything of it, and then she'll be heartbroken and know how her ex-boyfriend feels.
I think you're absolutely right - he was just nervous. And even if she was ready for the kiss, if he wasn't ready there won't be any "sparks." It doesn't mean he didn't want to kiss her, but he was nervous, and she just needs to give him some time to get more comfortable around her. He obviously cares for her if he's nervous to kiss her. Either your friend is being naive and not thinking clearly, or she really just doesn't have any feelings for the guy and is using that excuse as a quick way out of the relationship. Tell her to really think about this for a while, and tell her exactly what's on your mind. She needs to see the situation from someone else's point of view. Tell her you understand and you support her decisions in the long run, but explain that she should give the guy another chance and give him a little time, unless she just doesn't care for him.
What is she going to do? Just keep dating and breaking up with guys until she feels that "spark?" That's just not senseless. Perhaps she's not even meant to meet that "special someone" for her until later in her life and, in that case, she won't feel that "spark" with anyone for a while.
2006-12-30 09:31:54 · answer #1 · answered by Katlyn ♥ Disney 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OK some people miss judge the spark when u get the spark you fell butterfly's and you feel like you can float... but your friend is thinking a little to much on it the spark don't always come on the first kiss
2006-12-29 16:14:44 · answer #2 · answered by Chi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well--it depends on how you look at it. There can't really be a spark--especially if the guy is nervous. Just tell her to get to know the guy so that they are comfortable with each other.
2006-12-29 16:14:07 · answer #3 · answered by GirlieGirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep.. you're right. Girls grow up with fantasy notions and fairy tales, and sometimes we forget they're not real. Can 'magic' happen in a first kiss. Sure it can. Does it mean anything? Nope. Just like it doesn't mean anything if its not there for the first kiss.
2006-12-29 16:14:52 · answer #4 · answered by Tara C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, it's possible. I felt not just A spark but SPARKS and STARS when my fiance and I shared our first kiss. I STILL feel that!! and I'm 39yrs old!!
I never felt a spark with anyone else.
2006-12-29 16:13:40 · answer #5 · answered by moniquebell 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think you're right. yeah sometimes there is a spark, but just because there isn't one right in the beginning doesn't mean it can't be a good relationship.
2006-12-29 16:14:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the people and how they feel some may feel sparks some might not.Your friend...who knows.
2006-12-29 16:13:57 · answer #7 · answered by MEXICAN 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm. I think it is a matter of luck. I would want to have sparks. It's quite important to me. But can you blame us girls? We were brought up reading fairy tales =)
2006-12-29 17:08:54 · answer #8 · answered by confused 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you know that her boyfriend was nervous. Who told you? If he did, why? If she did, why didn't she give him a second chance? I do not think your friend told you the whole story. Girls' instincts are seldom wrong. They are likely to be better off going along with it.
2006-12-29 16:20:50 · answer #9 · answered by Alfretz T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure she is. It's just a kiss. Two sets of lips touch, and then it's over. What did she want, spontaneous fireworks?
2006-12-29 16:12:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋