How could I have been so misguided see below?

Question

I feel bad that I wasted so much of my life being angered that the wicked and sinful prosper see Psalm 73.

I never knew what it was truly like to be a christian until I was severly tested by trials and I said wait a minute I love the Lord, I read my bible and I pray How could God do this to me I was angry at God for 2 years.

Instead of being mature and accepting the hard time I fought God How could I have been so misguided? How can I make certain that I follow the good Lord and never walk away from Him again?

I just feel badly that I wasted so much time on worthless things instead of growing in Christ, Has this ever happened to you?

Answer 1

Yeah, when you have strong moral beliefs it's an easy trap to fall into - because there's a natural tendency to become angry at people who fall short of those principles. Especially people in positions of power who use it to exploit and attack others. It's natural to be angered by this, but then that can get mixed up with a kind of jealousy, that they are in a privileged position and are abusing it. But that's human psychology - as you're clearly a Bible reader yourself you'll know that throughout the Psalms there's a whole catalogue of this, some of it pretty fierce - "Oh Lord break the teeth of the wicked" etc...

What I do is to look at the people who I'm critical of and say "Well, if I was in their shoes, with their genes and their upbringing, would I be doing any better?" And if I'm totally honest, I really don't know that I would.

But don't beat yourself up over it - as a Christian you know that Christ would forgive you, so it's up to you to do the same, and forgive yourself. Your time spent "wrestling with the angels" is not wasted, because that spiritual struggle is every bit as much a part of your growth as the easier times of joy and acceptance. The winter is every bit as important as the summer.

Have you come across William Blake's wonderful illustrations of the Book of Job? Blake had a hard life as an artist and poet, and his genius wasn't appreciated till after his death - and he often wondered why other lesser artists painting trivial subjects were successful, while his own deeply spiritual work was often ridiculed. He saw a strong echo of this in the story of Job, who despite leading an apparently holy life, is struck by all sorts of misfortune. Blake feels that Job had fallen into the trap of moral selfrighteousness, and in the end it takes real hardship to truly open his heart.

The entire set of prints is online here, and some are really beautiful:
http://www.blakearchive.org.uk/cgi-bin/nph-dweb/blake/Non-Illuminated/plates/blake/BB421/BB421.1/@Generic__BookView;cv=java

Answer 2

Welcome home sister!! Remember that this world...this current earth is temporary. So if you have accepted the Lord, and returned to him before the end, it is not too late. Trials, tests, and tribulations are to make us stronger. The trials you experienced, were designed specifically for you, so that you would be equipped and wise enough to handle God's plan for you. The Lord will always make the bad work out for the good of those who believe.

Romans 8:28 says: And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. By human standards it may appear that time was wasted. But by God's standards, and with the promise of everlasting life, 2 years is but a second. It took me much, much, much longer...because I was extremely stubborn. How blessed we are to have been tested and reborn.

Answer 3

All Christians go through periods that seem like that. But God knows our hearts and He understands our weaknesses. If you confessed your guilt to the Lord and repented, believe in faith He forgave you, be joyful that He loves you. Remember Romans 8:1, Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, who live and walk not after the dictates of the flesh, but after the dictates of the Spirit. So, forgive yourself as God forgives you, and keep walking. This trial was just another step up in faith as you grow in the Lord.

Answer 4

Yes it has, gratefully for only a span of 4 months, not 2 years. Great that you are back.

Keep being around G-dly people and stay in the word. In times of trouble, look at Jesus and the disciples in the story where He walks on the water. The disciples are panic stricken, freaking out because of the storm. They think He has abandoned them. When they did see something happening in the distance, they were prepared for more gloom, not a miracle....they thought it was a ghost. Their lack of faith was proven, as they did not calm down until they could see them with their physical eyes.

When your situation changes, forget what the physical says. Claim that Jesus is in it. Many times we pray and when our prayers are being answered in a way we dont understand, we turn and run! Remember Isiah 55:8-9! Would you want a G-d who could be fully understood by human brains? I don't! Anyhow, the second they realized it was Jesus they knew it was allright and they immediately reached shore in safety.

So, as soon as you see anything happen in your times of tribulation, see Jesus in it. Use your spiritual eyes and ignore what the world sees.

He has not promised us smooth sailing, but He has promised us a safe landing!

Bless u sister
David T

Answer 5

Perhaps it is a missunderstanding of what is expected from our christian walk. I think missplaced dependancies and unreasonable expectations plague us all. We all suffer from a sin nature and even our own motives can be unclear to us sometimes. That is why abiding in Christ is the most important thing. "Abiding in the Vine" and trusting that what Jesus said, namely that HE is the author of our faith and can and will be the "perfector of our faith" is so important. Remember as christians we are not told that life will be peachy keen for us but being a christian we are GUARANTEED trials in life. It is through trials that the Lord teaches and guides and disciplines us (not punishes for punishing is looking behind and much like revenge, but discipline, in preparation for our future). I have never learned anything in my comfort zone. It has always been through hardships and trials that stretch me that I have learned so much. Not in lofty self improvement campaigns, but in humility as I eat a great big slice of humble pie and I am reminded..."Not so smart are ya...."
Coming from a broken home softens my heart for the children of divorce. Becoming pregnant out of wedlock, strengthened my heart toward becoming a mother and wanting to do everything I could to do the best I could for my child. Eating crow and saying I'm sorry helped me understand just how difficult it is for people to reconcile sometimes because of pride or saving face or not being able to to let go of the past. It is precisely in these weak moments that I am made strong in Christ. Like the Bible says, "We are made perfect in weakness". And hey...don't be to hard on yourself...
David was an adulterer.
Solomon was a skirt chaser.
Peter denied Christ 3 times.
Paul persecuted christians and had them killed.
Jonah disobeyed God.
Adam and Eve disbelieved.
The Physician didn't come for the healthy, but for those who are sick. Namely all of us. ALL of us. I hope this encourages you. Lord be with you and don't ever forget He draws you close because He loves you and is active in your life to be the "perfector of your faith".

Answer 6

Part of being faithful to your religion is to question it and to look at it from a different perspective. If you weren't like that in the past, how do you suppose you would get to this point of spiritual understanding now? It's not wasted time, you actually grew in your faith and now understand it a lot more than before. As others have said, don't dwell in the past and move on with your life.

Answer 7

Well, not exactly, but I know where the feeling comes from.

All I have to say is that you shouldn't waste time dwelling on the past because there's nothing you can do about that. Just live your life to the best of your ability with what you now know and you'll be fine.

Answer 8

at least you finally saw the light. sometimes you have to be hit by truck in order to realize how puny our thinking is. way to go. had i not been fired from the first 20 jobs, i would never have found out that teaching was call, had i not been fired from the last job, i would never have met my wife ( she was a teacher too ) i lotta cool things had to happened to me due to those hard trials. and i still expect more hard trials, but i know that they have a purpose. which i don´t have the foggiest idea, but i know they´ll lead to a much better position to help others

Answer 9

Now you need to learn that you grow in your failures much faster than you do in your successes. I would say that two years was not wasted if you learned one of the most important lessons for a Christan to learn. God knows what He is doing.
"A man plans his ways but the Lord directs his steps."

Answer 10

Somewhat. I am a different religion than you, but it's happened a few times. The best thing we can do is learn from our mistakes and keep moving forward. Remember, God knows very well that humans are not perfect, and He/She understands this. It's what in our hearts that God looks at.

Blessed be.