Women's night out?

Question

Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out, but had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers.

Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery. One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she could take off her panties, use them and throw them away. Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to lose them, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on one of the graves, and she proceeded to wipe with that. After the girls took care of business they proceeded to go home.

The next day one of the women's husbands phoned the other husband and said, "Listen, these damn girl nights out are gonna stop. Would you believe my wife came home last night with no panties?"

"Tell me about it," said the other guy, "Mine came back with a card stuck to her *** that said 'From all of us at the Fire Station. We will never forget you'!"

Answer 1

LOL! Here's a few for you! Happy New Year!

At about 3AM, I was drunk as a skunk. I came home just in time to hear the cuckoo clock cuckoo three times. Quickly coming up with a plan, I cuckooed nine more times, hoping my wife would think it was midnight. I was very proud of myself.

The next day, my wife asked what time I got home, and I replied, "Midnight, just like I said."

She said that was good, and for some reason she said we needed a new cuckoo clock. When I asked why, she answered, "Last night when it cuckooed midnight, it cuckooed three times, said '****!,' cuckooed four more times, farted, cuckooed three times, cleared its throat, cuckooed two more times and then started giggling."



These three guys got together one day and were talking about how drunk they got at a party the night before.

The first guy said, ''Man I was so drunk last night I went home and blew chunks.''

The second guy said, ''Man that was nothing I was so drunk last night I was driving home and I got my DWI.''

The third guy says, "Man that was nothing. I was so drunk last night I was driving home and I picked up a prostitute and my wife caught us in bed.''

Then the first guy said, ''No -- you guys don't understand! Chunks is my dog!"




Peter is relaxing after work one day in a bar on the top floor of a New York skyscraper. While he's sipping his drink, another man approaches him. He looks like an average guy; suit, tie, glasses, and he's pretty drunk.

"Hey," says the guy. "I'll give you fifty dollars to jump out that window and jump back in." The man points to an open window not far off.

Peter looks at the man like he's crazy. "No thanks, I think I'll just sit and enjoy my drink." The man shrugs and wanders off.

About 30 minutes later, the man returns. Now he's even more drunk; his tie has been loosened, his hat is gone, and he's starting to slur. "Hey," he says. "I'll give you...five hunnert dollars to jump out that window and jump back in."

Now Peter is getting irritated. "No, please leave me alone." The man shrugs and wanders off again.

Twenty minutes later, the man returns yet again. Now he's REALLY drunk; his glasses are broken, there's a burn hole in his suit, and he's wearing his tie around his head. "Hey, I'll giff you five...hic.....THOUSAND dollerz to jub' out 'at window.....and jum' baggin."

Now Peter is mad, and just wants to get rid of this drunkard. "Tell you what," he says. "You do it first and I'll do it for free."

The drunk man thinks for a second, and then stumbles over to the window, jumps out and jumps back in. Shocked, Peter thinks to himself, "If this drunk asshole can do it, surely I can." So Peter walks over to the window, takes a deep breath, and jumps out the window. He quickly falls to his death.

The drunk man is standing by the bar, chuckling to himself. The bartender looks at him and says "You sure are a dick when you're drunk, Superman."

Answer 2

women folk are actually not each and each of a similar basically like countless adult men are actually not a similar. for my area, a woman who supplies in to a guy sexually, is the two a whorish sort interior the 1st place, the type who seeks interest from adult men or she is basically naive and stupid. in maximum situations she became the whorish sort interior the 1st place. Even the best adult men can not discover the main loose of ladies folk. women folk who flatter adult men lots with compliments and likes to get right into a adult men face is perhaps to cheat. Or she would desire to've been taken great thing approximately as a results of fact she became inebriated, yet not in maximum situations. She knows whats incorrect, whether she became inebriated. have faith me, there became not something which you probably did incorrect, it became not as a results of fact of a concern interior the marriage, it became as a results of her low ethical common.

Answer 3

ive heard this one before but its still funny

Answer 4

Good one.

Answer 5

LOL. That's funny.

Answer 6

I think in a twisted way,it is really hilarious.great joke lol!!

Answer 7

it was wierd i mean the firman thing cameout of nowhere and the graveyard built up to something tha wasent that great

Answer 8

i have listened this one before also!!
well, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Answer 9

hahaha i heard this one before^^ good job!!

Answer 10

Funny !!!