Me and my ex were together for over 3 yrs. He is a great person and loves me very very much. He never did anything bad to me, anything that would offend me...everything was perfect. Except for two things. 1)my family never really accepted him. he is somwhat shy around them, and said I could do "better" which leads to number 2) he was not the hottest guy . when i first met him, i was very much attracted to him. but by the second year, i was not attracted to him. i started to see his flaws.
all my friends say that physical attraction is very important. and i agree. but he treats me so well.
i broke up with him 1.5 yrs ago. but still talk to him every couple of months to say hi and to catch up. i call him. i have not dated anyone since i was with him. i know i do not want to be with him, my family does not accept him. but should i talk to him. when we talk it is very romantic. is that wrong.
2006-12-29 15:45:07 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
By the end of the last year we were together I was so embarrassed to be seen with him in public bc I did not find him attractive. i did not want to introduce him to anyone. i wound so mean i know. i am not a mean person. and i'm not one of those typical superficial grils, i just did not think it was good for me to be that embarrsed to be seen in public with him.
2006-12-29 16:02:43 · update #1
Yes, physical attraction is important, but you were physically attracted to him originally, what changed? Did your taste in men change? Or did he change (bad hair cut or weight gain?) If you have lost your physical attraction to him and that is the only reason you broke up with him, I would really like you to consider a life long commitment that comes with marriage and how your groom will not always be the most handsome man by worldly standards because he will get old. However, have you ever been around a cute older couple that has been married forever? They are still so in love like they were in their 20's again! Love leads to physical attraction in most cases. Do you love him?
On to your actual question now that you have thought about a few things. "Should you still talk to him?" I would say not unless you are seriously considering a reconcilliation. If he is in love with you as much as you say, and you won't get back with him, maybe you should give him space so he can get over you. How do you know he isn't trying to get you back? If he is, and he has no chance, cut him loose, you're just leading the poor guy on. I hope this helps you! Good luck! Matters of the heart are the worst. Oh, and don't worry about your family. If they love you and you love him, they will grow and learn to love him as well.
2006-12-29 15:53:51 · answer #1 · answered by Curiosity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it wrong?
Yes, I think it might be.
He may be waiting for you and you're not interested in him in that way. By calling him and having these romantic conversations, he may think he's still got a chance. Let him go and meet some nice person who will appreciate him and love him the way you would have liked.
In the meantime, you need to open your heart up to new experiences, good and bad. There may be someone waiting who is just as nice as this guy AND is someone you want to commit to.
Best of luck for the New Year.
2006-12-29 23:51:31 · answer #2 · answered by autimom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parents don't approve of me dating my boyfriend either, and they have not since we began going out. But he truely makes me happy, and my family never did - so I chose him.
And, physical attractiveness, doesn't matter. You should NEVER just like a guy because you think hes "hot" cause then, in actuality, you'd be just dating his looks, and not him. If he wasn't that hot, or you saw his flaws - you have to live with it. I'm sure your not perfect either (not to offend you, but none of us are) and you have to work around that - If he had a nice personality that is. The way a guy treats you should matter WAY much more than how he looks.
2006-12-29 23:49:58 · answer #3 · answered by krimson.suicide 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is nothing wrong with remaining FRIENDS with your ex if you have no FEELINGS for him then stop talking romantically to each other and tell him why start dating n u might not want to call him anymore this could b the only reason u r still in contact with him
2006-12-30 01:14:46 · answer #4 · answered by fancy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
gosh you have a weird family! my friends and family are always telling me to stop being superficial and pick someone who is nice no matter how they look. but anyway, if you know you don't want to, or can't be with him, don't talk to him since he probably wants to be with you and is getting hurt by it. if you really did like him you could just ignore your family, but it doesnt sound like that so i wouldnt talk romantically anymore to this poor guy.
2006-12-29 23:49:54 · answer #5 · answered by bellatrix27 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really shouldn't matter what anybody else thinks, if you really like this guy, go for it, follow your heart.The other option is to let him go and let somebody else have at him, that appreciates him, it seems like it would be a loss to you, which is sad.Looks aren't everything, if he has a great personality, that is all that should matter. I have dated allot of pretty boys in my time and their ego's were horrible, they loved themselves too much. Follow what is in your heart.
2006-12-29 23:51:48 · answer #6 · answered by tiffany j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no its not wrong. you need to be sure you are not seeing this guy based SOLELY on your feelings. don't throw away a potentially great thing just cos your family doesnt accept him. if they love you and they know you love this person...they will come to love him as well because you do.
2006-12-29 23:48:20 · answer #7 · answered by jesus-lives! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, you should still talk yo him but not romantically if your just Friends you need to move on and find someone new every one thinks loves about looks its not its about feeling just stick to your feeling and that will get you to where you need and want to be
2006-12-29 23:55:58 · answer #8 · answered by Sarah 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it isnt wrong until it leads to some where u dont want to be. good luck and have a happy new year.
2006-12-29 23:51:32 · answer #9 · answered by Joho 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋