Do women really think this way?

Question

It's okay to cheat on your boyfriend by getting gangbanged, as long as when you marry him, you don't tell him.
See the following question and answers given saying it's okay and nothing should have been said: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AigaQAA257kuccIug7BqM_wezKIX?qid=20061229194406AA57naj&cp=1&tp=2#all-answers

I just want to know if most women do think this way, or it was just a lot of the ones answering this question.

I'm really referring to all the answers. Not just because one woman asked this.

Answer 1

I don't think that way, you're a really cute jerk!

Answer 2

I totally disagree. I don't think that way. First of all, the woman cheated. Flat out! The woman was taken, hence the term "boyfriend" was used in the "scenario." "Gang bang (wow that's something to be proud of ...(sarcasm)) or no gang bang it doesn't go away if you just don't tell him about it . That goes back to the saying that "I didn't do anything wrong if I didn't get caught." Maybe if the guy had sex with two woman while the wife is away now and he just doesn't tell her for a few years then that's OK too?????......Who cares if he has fun right??? (Once again sarcasm.)

Answer 3

No all women don't think like that but, I think that you are misinterpreting (some) of their answers.

What most of the women are trying to say is that if she did it before they were "together" officially (she said that they were dating, not a couple), she should have kept it to herself. Most people have some kind of skeleton in their closet (men and women both) and at one time or another have done something that they are not proud of. If it was in the past leave it there.

I agree with that ONLY if it is something that won't effect your lives together or their opinion of that person. What she did could change his whole opinion of who he thought she was and the kind of woman she is. I think that in this instance he should have been told about it before she married him. Trust and honesty is the foundation to any relationship. Then the ball would have been in his court, he could make an educated decision and if he could forgive her, then the marriage would still be on solid ground.

Answer 4

Well, personally, I don't think it's "ok" to deliver information like that from your data bank after vows were spoken! I think one should come clean before saying I do. On the other hand...we do say "for better for worse, forsaking all others " @ the time we WED, so that would mean from THIS day forward, right?. Kinda like a guy has his bachelor party & gets his last fling usually 1-2 nights BEFORE the wedding? Don't you wonder how many of them get a few lap dances, a few drinks, and then a cheap hooker or two?....Hmmmm...Guess this one is a toss up.
I say what happened before the wedding happened before "From this day forward", dont you? and F.Y.I. a "gang bang" is more than 3.....sorry babe.

Answer 5

In my opinion, she should have told him BEFORE she was married to him, not after wards. She ruined not just her marriage, but what their initial relationship was based upon--not from telling him, but from the actual act. He was more than likely under the assumption that they were exclusive; that 'she is into me (not them).' If she had told him before they were married, would he have then married her? Probably not--especially since the incident happened when they were dating each other.

She is lucky that those men hadn't known him or had not said anything to her husband before she did. He has been ultimately humiliated, either way. He may have complained to her--but she crossed an unsaid boundary...and she knows it. She is either not very smart or she is very unhappy. She more than likely is unhappy in her current marriage and has let this information out to sabotage things, even on an unconscious level.

Answer 6

This was my answer...and I am a woman.

Wow...how selfish of you....you puked your guilt out onto this unsuspecting man, and you can't understand why he is having trouble dealing with it...You know, most women can out talk men on issues....I am sure you are going to play the card that the problem is on his side of the fence....you were wrong when you cheated (married or not)....you were wrong when you didn't tell him before you got married (and give him the choice if he wanted to marry you under these conditions)...and you were wrong to dump your guilt on him (how is that going to be good for him?)....and you are wrong now trying to make it a him thing....when it is totally a you thing....wow....what a piece of work.

Answer 7

First of all, a gangbang is a "rape" that is done by several people against one person who is unwilling to have sexual relations.

So that did not happen here.

Second of all, she was only by her words "dating" this man, so that does not portray that they had a committment at the time.

It's only cheating if she had a committment with the man she was dating at the time.

Answer 8

Well, I don't think it's okay to cheat at any time on your partner by engaging in intercourse or other physical/sexual behaviors with other people. A lot of people don't agree with me, though, for whatever reason. I make it clear in the beginning of a relationship, if we are both serious about being monogamous, that I won't be cheating and I won't tolerate it in my partner. 'Nuff said.

Answer 9

not all women think the way the ones with that question did. i think it's good that she was finally honest with her husband but she should have known he wasn't gonna be happy with the fact that she cheated on him. and now that she's got it off her chest she just wants her husband to forget about the whole thing and deal with it. but that's not how it works.

Answer 10

it depends. did you agree to the gangbang, or did they force themselves on you? in the former case, gangbang is just like cheating on your boyfriend with anyone. in the latter case, it's rape and not considered cheating. either way, to have a trusting relationship, you should tell him about it.
I hope this answers your question.

Answer 11

Of course it's not ok to do that. But the asker in the question you refer to should have been honest when it first happened, not years later, after she was already married.