Is it okay for my 2 year old to bite on a soap bar for every time he says the word "NO"?

Question

My 2 year old son says no to everything. I know he knows the difference between yes and no. My boyfriend on the other hand begs the differ. He only believes in smacking him on the mouth or cheek for everytime he says "NO", yet he does not follow through with this every time. He also laughs, for example when he comes home from work and hears me yell at our son for telling me NO ( which is like the only word he prefers to say daily ). I have tried everything from spanking to no spanking, to going to the bedroom to cry and not come out until done crying. Now I am out of patience and ready for the bar of soap.
I know he is in the terrible two's stage, and might I add he is a very hyper child. He is easily distracted by anything and I mean anything from a bug to trash on the floor and to dirty clothes. But when we are out in public, he tells me NO everyone looks at me like I am bad. I am usually the only one out in public with our children who are ages: 3, 2, and 3 weeks.
Any advice?

Answer 1

Wow, these answers crack me up... soap is abuse??? lol..... Soap will not hurt him, although it does sound a little strange to use it with a 2yr-old. Find what punishment bothers him the most and use it, but you have to be consistent. That's why it's not working. Kids will stop doing wrong when they know for sure what the consequence will be. We spank our 19-month old daughter (NOT hard, and no it's not abuse) and she is extremely well-behaved compared to other kids her age. I know I'm raising my child right and she'll be a well-adjusted adult because of it.

Answer 2

No, it is not ok to put soap in a two year old's mouth. Saying no is part of his learning - why do so many people complain about it! It is totally normal.

You have an obligation to protect your son from your abusive boyfriend. It is totally wrong for him to hit him when he is still learning, and especially so much. Spanking should be done so rarely that it really means something to the child. My husband and I never spank a child under 2 1/2 years, and even then it is done so lightly, it is only a light tap. Yet, it means something to them because they know they have made us sad enough to have to 'tap' their bottom a little bit. My 3 1/2 year old just got his first 'tap' on the bottom. There is something seriously wrong with the parenting style when a child is hit/slapped in any fashion more than a few times a week.

Answer 3

Um don't make him eat soap he will get soap Poisoning!! He will go blind haven't you watched A CHRISTMAS STORY!! J/k.. I think you are way overreacting. All 2 year olds say no to everything.. Its a matter of not giving him so much attention when he says it.. Why would you smack him for just saying no.. You should not smack a child for saying something that is normal as can be.. Just don't pay attention to it.. All he is doing is getting attention he don't care whether it is negative or good. It sounds like he knows what sets you off and he is doing it on purpose. Try not paying attention at all or try putting him in time out and not smacking him in the mouth thats rediculous.. Even a swat ont he butt isn't as bad as slapping your child in the face...

Answer 4

Your baby is only repeating (& repeating and repeating and repeating...) what he hears from you and your boyfriend. At 2 yrs, he is testing his limits and probalby hears a lotta NO's from you both. Try substituting another word for no or redirecting his attention elsewhere. I am with most of the people on this page. Your boyfriend has NO Right to smack him in the face.. how horrible.... you should not be soaping him either...l if it doesnt affect him now at age2, what will you have when he is much older and you want to soap his mouth for bad words? Not that i think you shoud soap him at all but you are already using the "big guns" and he is only 2...abuse prorgressivley only gets worse.

Also, being consistent in your consequences are the MOST IMPORTANT thing a parent can do for their kids. I swear to you that being consistent w/ your actions and consequences now will make your life easier as he grows older.
God bless.

Answer 5

Have you talked with your child's doctor? Your child may be autistic or have A.D.D. or something. The doctor can test him for this. You shouldn't make him eat soap or slap him. He may be doing this for attention. After all he was the baby and now you have a 3 week old so he may be having problems adjusting to the change. Maybe you shouldn't do anything at all when he says no, show him no attention for this behavior. You should also try to give him more loving attention that he may be lacking. Take him to the park, read him a story, watch a movie with him, play blocks or something he likes to do.

Please don't continue to hit him or put soap in his mouth.
Good Luck and I wish you the best!

Answer 6

are you and your partner crazy? your child is 2 year sold for goodness sake! firstly smaking is illegal you can get in trouble from the police for hitting your children, secondly what the hell do you expect a 2 year old to do he is learning a whole new language and maybe he knows the difference between yes and no but he wont have the whole concept of when they need using. i am 19 year old single mum wit ha 2 1/2 year old and a 1 1/2 year old and have recently lost a baby. my oldest has ADHD and i never ever smack him or curse him or even shout at him! i teach him, by teaching him him i do this, when he is naughty i put him for 2 minutes time out. but your 2 YEAR OLD SON is not naughty for saying no, he is simply learning ways to do things his own way! it is a fact that a 2 year old child uses the word no more then any other word - your child is normal. YOu seriously need to think your stratagies to give your child any hope of a decent life!

Answer 7

You have a normal 2 year old. He is gaining his independence and that independence results in children saying NO. If a child did not say NO I would be worried. Ignore him is usually best. He is gaining attention by your reaction. Not a habit you want to encourage. He will grow out of this stage. If he is easliy distracted dtop making this a competition between the twqo of you. Try to distract him. You have made a game of no for him and it will take patience to stop this grame.

Answer 8

Yikes!! He is two years old! You need to stick to a discipline plan. Smacking him in the face and putting a bar of soap in his mouth should not be part of your plan. He is testing his boundaries. He wants to see how much he can get away with. Stand firm and use time out or some other, non abusive, discipline. Don't use empty threats. If you tell (don't scream) him your going to sit in time out if you tell me no, then make sure to follow through.
Your bf needs to stand with you not against you. You need a united front. If you bf continues to laugh and not show support, you 2 year old will notice this and begin to think that, "Hey, daddy thinks it's funny. I don't have to listen to mommy".

Answer 9

i have the same issue with my three year old, no to everything i tell him, but i have this attitude that you can say no all you want, but your gonna do what i need you to do, and as for other people looking at you like your bad it's them being rude because your son is just a little kid trying to understand his boundaries. and right now he's testing you, just be firm and give short simple consequences, the soap might actually make him sick and hitting makes it worse, be patient with him, and hitting him that much is abuse. you need to not let a stranger's look dictate how you treat your kids...I have an autistic son and get dirty looks all the time, and have this great what the hell are looking at face...find yours

Answer 10

send your boyfriend to anger management. hiting a child especially in the mouth is never an answer. sounds like the two of you, you and your boyfriend that is need to attend parent classes. you child is reacting to the both of you and the inconsistant message he recieves. try not to be so negative with him. set him up to do right, ask questions that he can't say no to. such as would you like a "whatever his favorite treat is" if he says no to that, well then he said no, and he doesn't get the treat. give him other options to no. this is so common in children his age, but by giving him other ways to express his frustration, and not hitting him willl help. i would stick the bar of soap somewhere if my husband ever hit our child in the mouth, and it would not be in his mouth. you need to come up with something that will matter to your child, such as take away a toy or privledge when he misbehaves. be consistant, everytime he behaves in this manner the same consequence will happen. a 2 year old needs stability and they need to know what will happen. seriously you and your boyfriend both need professional help,there's no shame in it. 2 year olds are frustrating, but this is such an important age that can shape who they are. the more confidence you build in him the more he will agree with you, and the better he will be. you have 3 children very close in age and the trials will only get worse as they get older. you need to find ways to positively deal with their behavior now and not later, because it will be more difficult to change habits. as for you being in tears could just be hormones from your recent delivery, but if you feel it's overwelming talk to you gyno about post partum depression. it sounds like your boyfriend needs to be more supportive of you and your authority. and honestly sounds like he needs a boot. you are better than that, does he hit you too? get away now. and by the way ALL 2 year olds are active and are easily distracted. the world is new and fresh and everything is so awesome! focus on this. good luck

Answer 11

Its perfectly normal for a 2 year old to say No all the time. He's testing the waters to see what if anything he can get away with. Just keep on doing what ever if you say want lunch and he says NO then just give him the lunch -he will most likely just eat it. All he wanted was to be able to say No. Just ignor the No except when you have asked him to do something specific then you can say I asked you to do this you better get going cause No isnt working this time.