Please give me advice on this pacifier issue!?

Question

So- our son just turned two- we just moved, a few times, and we let him have it this long because we kept moving, or he was sick, or etc... we let him have it for comfort- but now we want it to stop- tonight is the first night- "binky-free" he is doing fine- only called out once for it. now i think he is sleeping- So we have about 4 of them in the house- so my question is--
Tomorrow when he wants it back- how should we do it? should we throw them out now- and when he asks just say no!
or- tomorrow say something like we gave them to some little babies? or cut the tips off and say they are all "broken" and we have to throw them away?? how to do it so he does not think he did something bad or that were being mean?

Answer 1

My sister had a hard time taking the paci away from our nephew. I happened to be visiting at the time and finally got tired of the nightly battles that ensued. I was there for a week and asked if I could help get it away from him.
The next night I started having him go with me to take the trash out...we would walk out to the side of the house where they kept the trash for pick up and on our way I would explain to him ( every night for a week) that when things went to the trash they were gone forever. I reinstated this every night. On my last night there ( 6th night ) we walked out and paci was always in his mouth and it was beat up and gross...I said to him " Hey, why don't you toss that yucky paci out in the trash" Without even thinking, he tossed it in the can and we walked back in. Now, granted, when we came back in and he was washing his hands with his mom I took their "stash" of 5 paci's and tossed them out as well. Later that night at bedtime he asked for it which we expected and I told him " Remember, we tossed it out in the trash and it is gone" Never had another issue with the paci again.

I can't say this will work for everyone....but based on your post, it sounds as if you are questioning this yourself. Of course throw them out if they are there and you don't want him to have them. If they are in the house and he knows it, he will ask. If you have a history of saying "no" to him and then giving in, he knows he can push this boundary. Get them out if you want to be successful in breaking this habit..and that is all it is is a habit.
It is nerve wracking to listening to a child have a fit, but once he realizes he isn't going to get what he wants...the fits will get less frequent and he will finally realize they aren't coming back.

Answer 2

I understand your need for wanting him to stop with his pacifier -- but does he have another lovey to use instead?

We used the "binky fairy" when my son was about 2 and 1/2. I nursed until he was two (he started real food when he was 6 months, and by the time he was 1 and 1/2 he was only nursing a few times a day -- after 1 and 1/2 never for bedtime) -- but he started using the binky more (especially at my mother-in-laws, she watched him during the day) after this. He never used it when he was with me in public (when we went into a store, I would make him leave it in the car, which he willingly did) -- so it wasn't like he was used to it all of the time.

First -- find a substitute -- stuffed animal, blankie, you might find he goes for his thumb if he really is using the pacifier for soothing. And at this stage I would let him, because he is probably feeling pretty weird/insecure right now if his surroundings keep changing.

See what he does in the morning. If he demands a binky I would play up the fact tat he slept through the night without one and how he is such a "big boy" and how babies need binkies, and -- only depending his moods/reactions to this -- tell him about the binky fairy and see if he is ready to put all of his binkies in a bowl for the the binky fairy to take for the little babies. In our case we gathered up all of the binkies and put them into a bowl, and the next morning, there were some stickers in the bowl instead. If they all "break" he may just get mad.

You have to take his cue -- if he isn't ready, he will certainly let you know by his behavior/reaction. Then you have to figure out if it will be a gradual thing such as only for the morning -- or only for sleep. Or a cold turkey thing. Every child is different, but even two year olds have some concept of things being taken away from them. If he's lost other things in the recent moves (a favorite place to be -- etc.) this could make things a little rocky, or, he may take all of the changes in stride.

Good luck....

Answer 3

Gather up all the pacifiers and throw them away. In the morning tell him they are all gone. Reassure him that he is a big boy now and he doesn't need a baby pacifier anymore. He is going to cry but stand firm. You are the parent, he is the child. Be firm in your decision and he will forget all about the pacifier in a few days. If you let him keep sucking on it it might deform his teeth. give him buck teeth. This same strategy works for potty training too. It just changes to no more diapers, oh and another thing you need to give him lots of extra hugs and special attention during the next few days. This also helps. Good Luck!

Answer 4

I broke both my kids at 2 with the pacifier. With my son he wanted a lollipop so I told him if he wanted the lollipop he had to throw the pac away , which he did. Later when he asked for it we told him it was all gone that remember he threw it away. Cried at night for about a week then all was well.

My daughter I think we just did it wrong. I didn't give her the choice and just put her to bed without it one night and told her she was a big girl, she didn't need it. She's almost 3 and on occasion still talks about a pac. I should have let her throw it away like my son.

Now that he's gone one night without it I would praise him about what a big boy he is and give him the opportunity to throw the pac away himself. then reward him with a treat like a lollipop and he will feel all grown up! It may be difficult at times over the next few days but eventually it will be like he never had one! Good luck!

Answer 5

if he wants it back tomorrow then tell him he has to sit in the binky chair and take care of this issue in private because he is a big boy and has too many other things to do without a binky. or just tell him "not now" and be cheerful about it and try to distract him with something to do that requires attention and no binky
don't cut or throw away the binkies...that just sounds mean

Answer 6

If you can get throught he first 3 nights of the crying for it, you will probably be surprised at how well he will wean from it the next week and forget about it. My son was 3, We took it away cold turkey, the first night was bad the second night was great but the 3rd he wanted it again, we told him we gave it to the new babies next door. He wasn't happy, but we didn't give in. A week later he forgot about it. Now he sees pictures of himself with it in his mouth and says theres my old binky, THe babies have it now..

Answer 7

Take all the binkys and throw them in the trash so that you will not be tempted to give them back. When he brings it up (if he does) just tell him that they're gone, and that you are so proud of him for being a big boy and not using one last night. Then maybe take him somewhere fun to reward him. He may cry, but that will pass and he'll be fine.

Answer 8

I agree with several of the answers above. I weaned my son off of pacifiers by cutting it in half. In less than two weeks, we were "binky" free. I would try that and have him help you throw them away. He'll feel important. Good luck!

Answer 9

We're working on this at our house, too. Will he understand if you say that the little babies need them, and that he needs to give the pacifiers to them? If not, I'd try cutting the tips and letting hiim figure out that they're broken, and explain that he's a big boy now and that big boys don't need pacifiers.

Answer 10

Just say no!! If you give it back and keep giving in to his demands for it you will regret it. My nephew and his wife, I apologize now for saying the truth, always had an excuse for giving it back, and be truthful here, most times parents give in because of the fussing for it and they can't deal with that. In the end my great-nephew had to go to the dentist and have his for upper front teeth capped from having the "binky" too long. Just because his parents couldn't deal with some crying. Sorry, but it's the truth.