I've been in a good relationship for 4 years.but i recently found out that my boyfriend talks to women online..i.e. dirty talk..n even uses his webcam for this purpose.he doesnt know any of these women personally.And i suspect there's one woman he specially chats with(he even sent her christmas greetings n tells her he misses her!). everything else about our relationship is great(or so i thought,until now!).he loves n cares bout me.and i love him very very much.I always try to keep him happy in every way.I have no idea why this has happened.And it has shattered my trust in him.What should i do? Should i confront him with this issue...or just let things be the way they are,hoping he will get over it in some time...??Even if i do confront him,he might jus change his yahoo id or somethin..n i'll never find out what he's upto.! I love him and i want this to work. how should i talk to him in a manner that really makes a difference?PLEASE help.
2006-12-29 15:31:16 · 5 answers · asked by tina 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Dear, I do not know how old you are.. if u are talking abt marrying him.
I personally think this is nothing much if your relationship is going great. You are the person who knows him so well, u shld know if he is actually cheating or not. Or if he is a cheater or someone who is good and responsible till now.
Some people just do it for stress relief, they make no attempt to really know the people online.
If he is doing it occasionally, that's ok.. if he does it DAILY, it is some concern.
Actually I do suggest that you approach him with a mindset that you think the online thing is just one of his interests and he does it for stress relief, much like ppl play gaming online and they have 'partners', or 'famillies' or even get married online because of all the adventures they've been thru. But they don't really know each other.
Try to laugh about it, and that u accidentally saw that on his screen and u can say you know some frens (or use urself as an example if u tink it will make him feel some panic!) also make frens like that online. And u find it actually all very interesting, and u would like to talk more about it (then onwards u can ask him abt this girl - and other ppl in his chats (dun jus ask abt 1)).
If he is really clean and honest, he will talk abt it and laugh with u, and mayb update u on wat's going on after too (let u in on it). Or he may quit it after a while on his own.
If u drop some hint-line like u really treasure ur relationship, etc, he will prob get the hint (if he is ok-matured) tat u mind if he gets too intimate online.
If u find after some time he is still doing it, and he apparently gives no care to ur concerns, then u prob have to start keeping ur stuff and go look for new dates.
Hope it helps.
2006-12-29 15:54:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow... Just read this and had a flashback of a man I was involved with for several years....(if his name is Patrick, get in touch NOW! ) Sexual addiction... read up on it. If he is being secretive and defensive I would definitely be on guard and start getting your ducks in a row. To be honest with you, it really doesn't matter if you are supermodel gorgeous or the most incredible woman in the world... He is addicted and it is an inner demon he won't want to defeat. Trust is nearly impossible to regain once lost. You may want to remedy this, but realize that you aren't in control and you have done nothing wrong and nothing to warrant him doing this. It is common to feel embarrassed, unattractive, inadequate, etc... But I promise it has NOTHING to do with you.... What are you willing to put up with? What are you willing to accommodate to be with him?
2006-12-29 23:39:57 · answer #2 · answered by ivy9toes 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is cheating on you. If he is doing this behind your back, you cannot trust him. I'm sorry to say that you need to end it. You can't change a cheater.
2006-12-29 23:34:07 · answer #3 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
put a magnet near the harddrive of your computer. yes this will mess up the computer. but you'll also find out how much he loves you.
2006-12-29 23:40:54 · answer #4 · answered by eddy r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't love you. He is cheating on you.
Up to you if you want to continue being his doormat.
2006-12-29 23:33:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋