My two younger sisters and I don't have a close relationship, I've created a wedge between us because they are constantly causing our mother heartache. I disagree with their lifestyle (possibly alcoholic) so I really don't care to hear from them once I move to another state- not that I keep in contact with them now. Is it wrong to alienate mself from siblings/family whose lifestyle I disagree with?
2006-12-29 14:33:33 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You know, a couple years ago I would have told you it was totally wrong. Now that I've been in the situation myself, sometimes it's just for the best to move on with your life and let them live theirs. Most of the time nothing you can say or do will change them, so then you just have to start watching out for yourself and hope that someday they will come to their senses.
2006-12-29 14:38:30 · answer #1 · answered by matty.. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are moving to another state that will take care of part of the problem - you won't really have much contact anyway and won't see them much.
I am concerned, though, that if you drop the relationship now it could be difficult to pick back up in a few years. They will grow up and if you have not been a part of their lives for a few years, you will miss out on this.
What I would suggest is 'token' keeping-in-touch. That is, email them once/month or if they don't have email write them a note and mail it and don't mention anything controversial, just tell them little trivial things, and this will at least keep the door open for a future relationship. Plus, if you drop them now, at some point you will more'n' likely feel guilty, and this will absolve you from guilt...
2006-12-29 22:54:43 · answer #2 · answered by Cris O 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi I must really answer this one I myself have 3 sisters and 2 brothers but we were a family of 7 until my oldest brother was killed in a car accident. We use to argue and not see eye to eye and all of our lifestyles are diffrent from each others and yes at times we still disagree and at times get mad at one another. But in 2004 July 14 when my 21 year old son was also killed in a car accident my sisters were at my side to hold and comfort me to walk me through every step I had to take I have friends who were also there but they can never replace your family. You can disagree with there lifestyles and love them at the same time. Oneday you might really want them or need them to be there so my advise to you dear is NOT to alienate your self from them. They have a sickness and they need you wheather you are the strong one or not hold on to your sisters and thank god you have them still to be able to talk to or even hear there voice.
2006-12-29 22:55:39 · answer #3 · answered by sweetpea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as long as you aren't causing drama then i don't see the big issue. if you have let your feelings be known then your job is done. as adults you each get to chose your own lifestyle. it sounds like they are going the hard route BUT that is their choice.
there is no need for any more explanations, drama, family feuds though. just limit the amount of time you'll be together. since you do share extended family, thinking you will NEVER see them again is probably a bit ridiculous.
if making a big deal about NEVER talking to them again is hurting your mom then don't tell anyone. they'll get the hint if you don't return calls or send christmas cards.
good luck. SD
2006-12-29 22:38:33 · answer #4 · answered by SD 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my mother always told us that your family at the end is the only one who will stick beside you, no matter what, we could probably disagree on what the other do but at the end we share the same blood, I love my mom and my siblings and probably don't talk as often as we should, but at the end they know they can count on me for anything..I will be here for them. Is it OK for you? well..that is something for you to decide...what type of person you want to be...is not good for you to live with anger and resentment.
2006-12-29 22:42:32 · answer #5 · answered by fun 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cannot choose your sisters....there may be personality conflicts in families just like there are in any human relationship...we should all try to get along and keep peace with everyone but this does not mean to "go along" with others' actions or activities...try to communicate/visit your mother when the others are not around...it is sad for a mom to lose her daughter no matter what the reason....good luck...
2006-12-29 22:38:47 · answer #6 · answered by kitten 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No not at all. Sometimes you run across people that you wouldn't have friendships with because they're not your cup of tea so to speak. Just because they're your sisters it doesn't matter. You love them, but you don't have to like them or like what they do. If you don't care to be around them don't feel guilty about it. Live your life and let them live theirs.
2006-12-29 22:55:11 · answer #7 · answered by autumn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is ok as long as you have more peace in your life because of this choice..ask yourself if you feel at peace about this decision. Or just try it for awhile and you will know then how you feel about it. Remember to never do anything YOU are uncomfortable with. Good luck!
2006-12-29 22:37:06 · answer #8 · answered by Sonia A 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
make sure they kno u love them, reasurre thaem of that all the time but if they are doin things u cant stand like alcohol then u dont have to be around them
ur just distancing urself from bad influence
2006-12-29 22:36:43 · answer #9 · answered by leandrasmiles 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it takes that in a sibling relationship, but only as a last resort.
2006-12-29 22:37:04 · answer #10 · answered by Happy Wife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋