i am 12 years old and my dad died soon to be one year ago and my mom is acting like it doesnt madder to me. She does not think about the other people who his death touch like my grandma, how can i make her understand with out hurting her more. ( srry if there typos it is kinda late).
2006-12-29 14:23:28 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
People handle death differently. My mother died back in 1984, I cherish the memories I have of her. I try to keep anything that reminds me of her. Set a photo on your desk of your dad. It should give your mom a hint that you need things around you to remember him by.
My brother on the other hand deals with her death by getting rid of everything that reminds him of her. I don't think it means that he loves her any less, but it's his way of coping.
Don't really force anyone on how to deal with death, maybe your mom is like my brother, to move on they just have to not dwell on the past. For you and me, We move on but we need to view our past to reflect the directions of our future. Take care... make your dad proud of you... He lives inside you. As long as the love is their he will never really die.
2006-12-29 15:11:09 · answer #1 · answered by Darren 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was 29 when my Dad died, i was one of nine children, and my Mother has always treated it as though it only happened to her. I still have problems making her realize that this thing happened to all of us. I wish that I could tell you that she will come to some sort of realization that this is affecting your life too, but from my own experience, doesn't happen. My own mother, makes every good thing in my life a milestone for my father's death - the kid's are doing well in school - that would have meant so much to Dad!, Cody qualified for the state spelling bee - Dad would have liked that! - the underlying tone is always that he isn't here so the event has no meaning. I try to live outside that, but at twelve, you need your Mom still. PLEASE - tell her how hard this is on you. As a mother, she should rally above her own hurt to help you. She needs to! Good Luck! I'm thinking of you!
2006-12-29 14:52:09 · answer #2 · answered by Katie Rose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she is just so caught up in her own grief that it is hard for her to focus on the grief that everyone else feels. Maybe you should tell her you want to have a serious talk with her and just pour your heart out about the way you feel and the way losing your father so young affected you. Maybe you could even have a talk with her and your grandmother together. It is hard to lose a spouse, but no parent wants to bury their child, and no child wants to lose a parent especially at such a young age.
I am so sorry for your loss! I can not even begin to imagine the pain you must feel. Having your pain ignored must make it so much more difficult. Perhaps you could suggest family counseling. It sounds like your mother could use it just as much as you could. Good luck!
2006-12-29 14:29:34 · answer #3 · answered by Rain S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear about the death of your father. In an ideal world, everyone would make sense to everyone else. It could be possible that your mom's grief over his death is so strong that she can't focus on how his death affects you and his other family members. Maybe one way you can help her understand is to ask questions about him. Ask her things about his life - ask how they met...things like that. That way, she might begin to open up to you about him and she will see how much you care. I wish you the best in this situation. I'm pretty sure that your mom knows you love dad. In time, hopefully she will begin to see and understand how much it affects you.
2006-12-29 14:30:29 · answer #4 · answered by ♪ ♥ ♪ ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep telling her and showing her that your father's death did affect you and it did make you sad. I mean not everyone gets emtional when someone dies. My grandma didn't cry when my grandpa died but that doesn't mean she wasn't upset about losing him. Just explain to her that it does hurt but you aren't the emtional type and maybe you weren't that close to him. I'm not that close to my dad and when he dies it'll hurt me but I won't cry as much since I'm not as close to him like I am my mom.
2006-12-29 14:30:00 · answer #5 · answered by Irish Girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its times like these that family should band together and talk about it. Arrange a gathering with your family on that day, pull out the photos and videos and enjoy the fine memories of him.
2006-12-29 16:32:11 · answer #6 · answered by wildpalomino 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may be in such a sate of greif that she can't see our pain. Why don't you talk to your Grandma and ask for her help.
2006-12-30 08:47:53 · answer #7 · answered by al b 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my friend's dad died and his/her mom is being kind of insensitive too. she/he isn't currently doing anything about it, but you can. you can write a note to your mom explaining your feelings. since you are doing it on paper, you can reread it, and you can make sure you don't sound mean. i hope i helped
2006-12-29 14:26:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋