My husband and I have 3 kids together. Each one was conceived while I was actively on birh control. After my last daughter (now 2) was born, he didn't agree on me having my tubes tied. Now I have a positive test while taking Seasonale birth control. My last period was Oct. 13th and isn't due till the week of Jan. 14th. He blames me. How can I get him to see it wasn't my fault and get him to brighten up about the situation?
2006-12-29 13:52:13 · 20 answers · asked by Babyface 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Just let him be. Take your hands off and let the LORD fight this battle as your husband grows to accept this additional gift from God as all children are a blessing! The bible says blessed is the man who has his quiver full of them. He's blessed! Prayer changes things. This will be such a special little child. Congratulations! I hope he cheers quickly.
2006-12-29 14:04:04 · answer #1 · answered by shannonlilia 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well after 2 kids you would think he would have done something to prevent it as well seeing that the birth control was very effective. I would just calmly explain to him that he didn't agree with having your tubes tied and he didn't have a vasectomy and obviously he wasn't taking other precautions, maybe he should shoulder some of the blame. And God only gives you want you can handle and never anymore. Just think about that sweet little face staring back at you. Good luck!
2006-12-29 22:03:20 · answer #2 · answered by reptmd 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all he must remember that he agreed not to have your tubes tied and he also knew that you could get pregnant just taking birth control. He can't fully blame you its as much his fault as yours..Tell him when You play ..You Pay.. and maybe this time after the baby is born he will think twice before telling you not to get them tied.
And whatever you do don't make the baby the fault of all this , it wasn't asked to be born but since it was concieved there is a purpose for that child in your lives..I believe that with all my heart.
2006-12-29 21:59:57 · answer #3 · answered by curious_59 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you.
Men need to grow up and realize that no pill or contraceptive device is 100%. Even having your tubes tied has failed for some women.
He didn't want kids, he shouldn't have been having sex or he should have had himself fixed, then waited to have sex for the time they telll you to. Even after a man is fixed it takes so many week or months to be assured the woman can't get pregnant.
I know you'll think I'm weird, but pray that Heavenly Father will calm him down, help him see his part in the creation of life.
I'll say a prayer too, that he calms down and accepts some responsibility.
You both need to decide after this on a sure birth-contol, such as his getting fixed and waiting after that for whatever the exact amount of time is you are suppose to wait. OR you are going to have to stop having sex. Is that what he wants?
If he's violent, then you need to go to a shelter until he calms down.
Good Luck
2006-12-29 21:59:03 · answer #4 · answered by Mountain Bear 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Men can't seem to handle things mentally like women. I knew a guy that was such a jerk and blamed the girl for getting pregnant. She finally told him he wasn't the father and told him to leave. She is a single mom now with no child support, but is happy without him in her life.
My friend had 3 kids and got pregnant while on the pill with her 4'th. Her husband freaked out and was mad at her. He got over it and they had a girl.
Men can't handle things as well... some come around, some don't. But for him to blame you is really pathetic and mean.
2006-12-29 21:56:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
tell him.. birth control is never 100% garented. Also show him on the internet about people who get preg on it all the time..
Here is a story for him..
My friend has been on the Depo shot for a very long time... She got pregnet 2 times off it.. The first time she had triplets,, now she is 22 weeks with twins and she was on the depo shot again.. So tell him we are lucky that we are havin ONE alot of people have mulipuls if they get pregnet..
I would say if he and you dont want anymore kids. after this one. eather he . or you should go get tied...
Also give him time to cool off. he will come around..
2006-12-29 21:57:38 · answer #6 · answered by Heather O 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that your husband sounds extremely selfish as I am sure you didn't intentionally get pregnant. However you are now pregnant and need to be looking positively forward to the next arrival as it is not the babies fault. Your husband should have gone and got the snip if he did not want to father any further children as this is a simple operation. So trying to pass the blame on to you is very unfair. Maybe you should threaten to walk out and take all your children including the unborn one with you. That may be a wake up call for him and when this is all sorted out you should book him in for that little op.
2006-12-29 21:56:11 · answer #7 · answered by auburn 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well you really need to both go to the doctor and see if you really are and let the doc explain it to him. No its not your fault you didn't do it alone thats for sure. Tell him to look at it this way there might be another baby on the way and this has happend for a reason. But then I would tell him after this one I want to tie my tubes weather you like it or not. If not this is going to keep happening.
2006-12-29 21:56:57 · answer #8 · answered by splashykp 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
OH boy!! I'm in the same boat. My fil finally talked to my husband and told him that I didn't get pg by myself and if really wanted to prevent pg, he could have done something himself. I admit, I had an appt to have my tubes tied last year and chickened out. But still....it takes two to tango!! I don't know what to tell you, other than I've been there and trust me....he'll come around...eventually!! Good luck!!
2006-12-29 22:02:44 · answer #9 · answered by farmersdaughter 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
He has no right to blame you and put more stress into your life. Obviously he wasn't that worried about you getting pregnant again if he didn't want you to get your tubes tied or better yet get his tubes cut. Don't stress yourself!
2006-12-29 22:06:20 · answer #10 · answered by sariabeauty 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋