My grandmother passed away two summers ago. Since, things have spiraled WAY out of control. My mom listens to my grandfather's every wish, my father is a hard working man dealing with what he must in his daily life, my uncle works a small job as well, but has horrible lower back pains...
I go away to school, I'm home for winter break. I came back to see hands on what occurs on a daily (and nightly) basis. It's insane - 50+ calls a night sometimes. He's tearing my family apart limb by limb. My grandfather (84 ) was in assisted living b/c he was in a car accident AND needed QUADruple bypass heart surgery (@ the same time - you can imagine Christmas this year...)
Long story short, he's home and it's getting serious. My grandpa's live in nurses haven't been working out, he is a stubborn, off the boat, depressed, attention starved Italian man, and when my mother comes to me for help, I'm at a loss... He's taking over our lives and I need help from anyone who can assist - Thanks ~JBL~
2006-12-29 13:21:55 · 10 answers · asked by Justin L 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
It sounds like your grandfather needs more than assisted living. I would see about nursing home care.. He sounds as if he is having some dementia. If he is calling more than 1 or 2 times a nite, its getting out of hand. He is having anxiety and maybe some sundowners syndrome.
I reccomend a psychiatric evaluation by a gerentologist and maybe move grandpa home or to a nursing home where he will be attended to 24 hours a day.
2006-12-29 14:23:41 · answer #1 · answered by happydawg 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on how well he gets around it's time to consider assisted living or a resting home. We've seen our grandmother go through the same stages w/o the bypass. She's OCD and doesn't sleep. She's fallen so many times because she goes asleep on the commode and such. Before her going into assisted living, it was a full time job for her son to take care of her. She bossed everyone else in the family, he was the only one that stood up to her and gave her the 'rules' she needed to get by.
2006-12-29 13:34:00 · answer #2 · answered by allisoneast 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Contact your local office of Adult Protective Services, or your Children and Family Services, whatever the name is. You should be able to get the phone numbers through your local police department. Talk to them about what is going on, and see if they can evaluate him for assistance. It really sounds like he needs to be in an assisted living center with a bunch of other older folks so he will have 24/7 assistance, plus some friends and activities to occupy his time. You seem to have hit it right on the head, "attention starved." My Grams lived in an Asst center until she passed away, she had a ball there.
2006-12-29 13:33:56 · answer #3 · answered by ihave5katz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My Grandmother did the same thing to us prior to passing away at the age of 94. What my mother and her sister would do is call her at 6:00 pm to check in and then would block phone calls from her number until 7:00am the following morning. She was not aware that the block was intentional. We also found her a hobby that would keep her busy for short periods of time and the most inportant thing we did was have her doctor prescribe her some meds to make her less anxious. Good luck I know how frustrating it can be.
2006-12-29 13:30:22 · answer #4 · answered by GI 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe the key word you mentioned was "depressed". It's interesting the majority of our population don't realize that the elderly are some of the most depressed folks out there. When one is nearing the end of their life & those that they love have passed on before them they tend to become extremely depressed.
I can't imagine loosing someone that I was married to for 50+ years and still having to stay on earth to wait out my time to die. It must be devistating for both him & your family to see him go through this.
Also, your grandfather is at the age when woman took care of the house, he is not use to having to take care of himself. What you might observe as being demanding could be just the way he has been living, only his wife was taking care of his every need.
I don't have any clear cut answers for you, except I sympathise with you & your family. Perhaps speaking to someone who is an expert in geriatrics would be appropriate in finding the care your family needs.
Best of luck to you on the new year!
2006-12-29 13:56:55 · answer #5 · answered by NautyRN 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You and your family have to set limits with him. Don't do things for him that he can do himself. Don't go running everytime he calls. Make him wait a few minutes before you answer. Remind him that if he is nicer to the nurses that they will be able to respond faster. Take turns with "grandpa duty" so everyone gets a break sometimes. Join a support group for caregivers. If possible, get him out of the house sometimes - he is probably lonely. If he can't get out, then invite people over for him to socialize with.
2006-12-29 14:09:14 · answer #6 · answered by Gypsy Girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he needs a woman in his life. Seriously! If I were your parents I would put him back in the nursing home. That's not fair to your family to wait on him hand and foot. Other people have their own lives to live ya know. They need to realize that because if they don't he will be there forever. Good luck!
2006-12-29 13:25:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Just speak honestly to him.
2006-12-29 13:24:00 · answer #8 · answered by Joe C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nursing home
2006-12-29 13:24:42 · answer #9 · answered by Wat Da Hell 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
1 word....Kevorkian
2006-12-29 13:24:48 · answer #10 · answered by howard o 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋