I am dating a wonderful man with a rotten only child daughter aged 9. She is rude, ungrateful and the center of the universe. Her dad is a push over and fears discipline. I have raised 3 girls by myself and though they are not perfect they are polite and gracious......I had firm rules and guidelines. I adore her dad but, grit my teeth through her. I know he has to be the one to make her into a pleasant human being but, at this point is it possible?
2006-12-29 13:20:15 · 16 answers · asked by Maggie G 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
It is possible that the child is jealous of you. If there are no reasons for her being rude and ungrateful and you both have tried everything else, I am sorry to say, but a good spanking might be in order.
2006-12-29 15:46:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have 2 kids, one easy to deal with, the other, not so easy. My boyfriend, who has never had kids deals with lots of attitude from the almost 10 yo boy. So do I.
It's a tough road. You've been married before, and so he, so you must decide what you really can deal with before the daughter effects the relationship you have as adults.
You do have time off from the situation, since mom is around. Maybe try to play the game for a while, send her home all pumped up that mom gets a bag of goods for a day too.
If mom and dad speak, (doubtful), but hopeful, then maybe they can at least figure out whether the prima donna is as horrible for her mom as she is to you guys.
Dad is a pushover because he wants no hassle and wants the time with kid to be pleasant. Does he recognize that the time together is awful? If he does, then you have to decide what to do. If he doesnt, then take some steps to gently tell him he is raising a ***** and it must stop.
Good luck.
2006-12-29 16:39:52 · answer #2 · answered by Carrie C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I realize you are just dating but his values are obviously not the same as yours. I speak from experience. It is a very difficult situation to be in. My step daughter was 4 when I met my wife in what sounds like a similar situation. I wouldn't dream of taking that on with a 9 year old. I believe she can change at 9, but if the dad isn't on board 100 percent you will be in for a lot of arguments.
2006-12-29 13:34:33 · answer #3 · answered by lsalvarez 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I've gone through some major stages with my step-daughter and it's tough sometimes. You really can't discipline her because you don't have her love and respect.
But also -- you really don't know the whole story. She's been through stuff you know nothing about. Life is so complex these days even for nine year-olds. Sigh. If you can, try to be a loving "aunt" type person to her and see what happens.
Christie
2006-12-29 15:42:07 · answer #4 · answered by rcpeabody1 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She might just act this way because she doesn't like seeing Daddy with another woman that isn't her mother. You just need to grit your teeth and act nice with her in the hopes she will come to befriend you. Try to include her in your activities and make time for her.
If she really is a spoilt brat, you're going to have to let her father deal with her.
2006-12-31 07:44:34 · answer #5 · answered by starchilde5 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she's in need of a little tough love and you're in the middle. How would your man friend feel if you disciplined his daughter? Take her out somewhere and have a talk with her.
2006-12-29 17:11:27 · answer #6 · answered by ♨ Wisper ► 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she will probably say she hates u if U tell her to do something she don't want to. Don't give in to her. If she hit u hit her back. Show her that she not the queen bee in this peace. Teach her some respect and tell her daddy to stop spoiling her cause it has gotten to her head.
2006-12-30 04:26:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe the lack of a mother figure has turned her into the little monster she is. yes it is possible to change her, but every time she doesn't get her way, she's going to run to daddy, and you know who's side he'll take. blood is thicker than water. if anyone changes the little monster, it's going to be you. are you sure your stong enough to do that?
2006-12-29 13:25:41 · answer #8 · answered by Ms Berry Picker 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is possible but you have to see why she acts the way she does. How long has she had her dad to herself? She may be jealous. All of his time not on her now.
2006-12-29 13:31:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Only if Daddy catches a clue and realizes what a brat she has become. He's the only one who can change her attitude but since she rules him, it's unlikely.
2006-12-29 13:28:36 · answer #10 · answered by skaters mom 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋