I really like this man but didn’t want to date yet after ending a serious relationship. I told him I wanted a friends with benefits but that I was afraid so I asked him if he could be patient and take it slow with me. He said okay but then he told me he didn’t think was a good idea to get together that night. I was embarrassed and asked what he thought I meant. He said getting to know one another and being friends first.
During the next 2 weeks, he hinted at getting together with me but I felt rejected and I told him how I felt. He said he respected me but then he said that night I was an “easy target” and he could have taken advantage of me but because he thought "highly of me" he chose not to.
I told him I changed my mind about FwB. We still talk like friends, about our families, the holidays, work etc…and I find myself still wanting to be with him but can‘t get past the fact that he said I was an “easy target“. Should I be offended?
2006-12-29 12:55:37 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i don't think u should....he just meant that u were feeling extremely vulnerable after your break-up...which makes u easy for wanting love...which is exactly why he didn't want to take advantage of you...he wants to get with you only when you both are sure of it.....that's what i would think if someone said that to me...hope it helps
2006-12-29 13:03:53 · answer #1 · answered by Charishma S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you shouldn't be offended by it cause it was true and he was just being honest. You let your guard down when you said it and he could've taken full advantage like he said. If I were you though I'd be careful. He may have only brought up the fact and said he thought too highly of you to make himself look good or something for some reason. Maybe so you'll think he's a great guy or something.He could be playing games, or he may really think highly of you. Just don't trust him too quickly and make sure you get to know him well first.
2006-12-29 21:03:09 · answer #2 · answered by So'sYerFace 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO! DO NOT be offended! He was letting you know that he respected you as a person that night and was trying to show you that through his actions. He cares enough about you to NOT take advantage of you when you are weak and vulnerable...you should maybe try to advance the relationship to one step above where you are now and see if he wants another go at it...if not keep him as a friend because he is your friend and he has respect for you and he has shown that he cares in the right ways!
2006-12-29 21:03:28 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were vulnerable....he knew it even if you didn't....and he could have taken advantage of it, but he didn't. He didn't say you were easy...he said you were an easy target, which is rather different.
Friends with benefits is another way of saying "I don't mind using you for sex, but I don't think you are worth keeping around for the long haul". If anyone deserves to be offended, it would be him.
2006-12-29 21:02:36 · answer #4 · answered by SUSAN N 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are vulnerable. you confused abuot what you want or need right now after ending a previous relationship. he meant he didn't want to take advantage of you or your friendship becuase he cares about you. what he did was what more men should do. say thanks and give him a hug for being an honorable, caring and decent man. he really respects and appreciates you. hell, someone else would have jumped you the first chance they got, without giving a damn about you or your feelings or state of mind, and he didn't. be grateful to know a person like that and stop analyzing it. take it slow with him until you figure out what it is that you need. you know he'll be there for you. in the meantime give him a hug (kudos) for me for being a friend, a gentleman, hell, he acted like a man.
2006-12-29 21:08:00 · answer #5 · answered by NoDeal21 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not take that the worng way.. It sounds to me like he was telling you that you were too vulnerable and he did not want to take advantage of that.. him seeing you as an easy target and respecting you enough to not do anything about it is a good thing.. not a bad one!
2006-12-29 21:00:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why be offended? He was being honest and if you think about it, you probably were at the time (or giving that impression)...easy target shouldn't be offensive...him having taken advantage of it would be though...
2006-12-29 21:00:32 · answer #7 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That doesn't sound offensive at all.It seems like you were offering yourself up to him at a vulnerable time in your life,and he didn't feel right taking advantage of your situation.That sounds very honorable to me.There should be more guys like that.
2006-12-29 21:06:57 · answer #8 · answered by G M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he means you were easy because you were lonely/sad. People are oft to do **** they regret when they're not themselves. Maybe he just wants to avoid the guilt trip if you decide it wasn't something you wanted. Make it clear to him and yourself what you want. Ask him about it, if you want HIS answer.
2006-12-29 21:04:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should feel Deeply Offended what a total Creep!
2006-12-29 21:01:24 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋