Even if they still tend to think being mean to me is the best way to treat me after all these years, and if I defend myself verbally I'm looked at the mean one???
2006-12-29 12:50:25 · 22 answers · asked by memjabeana 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You might forgive but you you never ever forget, i know what you are talking about and some i cannot forgive but i don't let it run my life but you just wait people like that will be paid back in this life and the next life so don't let it bother you
2006-12-29 12:53:21 · answer #1 · answered by ஐ♥Julian'sMommy♥ஐ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is ignore people like that. I think back to the time when I was mean to people and they were mean to me also, comes a time one finds out how pointless it was and only made life tough for no reason. Once we really grow up, then we really see what we have done, and then regret what we can't take back. A really big person is one that can forgive no matter what. A really small person is one that continues to be small minded and pick on people. Be a big person!
2006-12-29 12:58:37 · answer #2 · answered by fman440 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can forgive but not forget. If they are still being mean, maybe it's time to trade them in for some nicer friends! You deserve to be treated well, and it's important for your self esteem. Upbeat is the only way, staying that way is your job!
2006-12-29 12:54:26 · answer #3 · answered by Lovely &..... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are not going to change....at least that's my experience. I can barely change myself much less make changes in anyone else. So I'd say two things. Pray for them...and take a pic of you as a little person and pray for the child you used to be...the one that still is in there some where. Then when you see them... visualize a bunch of suitcases and put all your past knowledge and experience of them in the bags.... stay with me I know this is corny... but you need to focus on your reason for seeing them...maybe its a wedding, maybe its for the kids, or a holiday....you could spend a couuple of hours with a stranger.... so you can do it for yourself too..... all the best to you
2006-12-29 14:12:55 · answer #4 · answered by Sweetserenity 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good for you for defending yourself. yes, it would be healthy of you to forgive them. i am in a similar situation. growing up, i was very big into sports and my father was one of my coach's. somewhere in his little mind, the thought that it would push me harder to improve if he made fun and belittled me in front of everyone. he did this every chance he got. i've learned a lot of things about how not to raise a child from him and have also learned that it takes a lot of energy to hate someone. especially when hating them has no real effect on that person. continue to defend yourself, you have that right and you should. however, let those feelings from the past go.
2006-12-29 13:07:47 · answer #5 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to forgive or it will eat you up inside! When they say something mean say I am sorry you feel that way but I don't happen to agree . I think you need to voice your feelings to them. Remember only you can walk away . Don't put yourself in the position to have to deal with them. You are an adult and only you can stop it.
2006-12-29 13:02:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, forgive them. I tend to follow my mother's advice and kill them with kindness. Treat people how YOU want to be treated. Maybe someday these people will grow up and actually feel bad for what they have done....and if they don't...you know that you tried. Put it on their shoulders. You will feel better inside if you hold no animosity towards them.
2006-12-29 13:04:39 · answer #7 · answered by Lori F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Defend yourself and do not take any more crap from them. If they are still mean to you after all these years, they aren't worth forgiving.
2006-12-29 12:52:51 · answer #8 · answered by Jodi C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about turning the tables on them and instead of defending yourself verbally, you say, "how sorry for you that you feel that way." That can defuse the whole situation and really, what can they say to that?
2006-12-29 12:52:53 · answer #9 · answered by curious! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgiving them doesn't mean accepting whatever cruel behavior they try to heap on you. Let go of the past, but don't let them abuse you verbally. If possible, avoid seeing these folks.
2006-12-29 12:56:49 · answer #10 · answered by Apple21 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋