My brother seems never to learn to stand on his own feet and manage his own life. He didn´t finish school, he got no occupation and he always expects my parents to be there for him and helping him out. I don´t talk to him anymore. Sometimes I feel sorry for him but then again I am sooo angry at him. What if there is nobody there to help him anymore?! I hate him for using my parents and doing just bs!
2006-12-29 12:39:19 · 16 answers · asked by Jaei 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I didn't read your entire question, but take these words of experience...if you are using the words HE and CHANGE in your question the answer is always, in EVERY situation a resounding NOOOOOOO!
2006-12-29 12:42:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can either be a mental condition, or he's just very dependent on his parents and may be a little scared of doing things on his own for himself. I say mental condition because I had an uncle that was Schizophrenic, he was in his 50's and still living at home because of this.
It sounds like your brother could use some help outside of the family. He relies on his family more because he knows he can turn to them because of that close relationship. If he goes out completely on his own it may be too much of a shock and he could end up worse than he is now.
2006-12-29 13:14:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can totally relate to what you are saying. My brother has been living with my parents all his life and he is 27 now.Your parents as well as mine need to practice tough love. As long as he knows that he can always go back home and get help he will continue to do so. Don't let this stress you out. This is a problem that your parents have created and continue to allow.
2006-12-29 12:48:58 · answer #3 · answered by Curious 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're doing the smart thing by not talking to him right now. It's frustrating, I know. I have a sister who is doing the same exact thing. I just have to recognize that my parents are catering to her, too. Someday, your brother will get a reality check and be forced to grow up and then you can see that you were right. For now, just keep doing what you're doing to make a good life for yourself and not worry about him.
2006-12-29 12:43:19 · answer #4 · answered by wish2bwriter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parents wont always be there for him he will have to learn to stand on his own 2 feet but dont u be the guine pig and take over when they r gone that wont teach him nothing.
2006-12-29 17:23:05 · answer #5 · answered by wildpalomino 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jaei, my brother acts pretty much the same. Except he's still in school. I'm a Christian so I just pray for him everyday. And if your not a Christian see if you can talk to him about how you feel. If he was a true brother he would understand how you and your parents feel.
Hope it helps!
2006-12-29 12:43:44 · answer #6 · answered by roxy_babe429 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in the dictionary under the word moocher it says see him.
he won't learn untill a little tuff love is administerd.
as long as his parents are enablers,he will never quit.
your parents mean well but they maybe the cause of it.
the only way is to give him an ultimatum and stick to it.
the longer they wait the harder it gets,and he will blame them for his failures.
THROW THE BUM OUT.
2006-12-29 12:47:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is an adult, and he is choosing to be that way.
Your parents cannot be used if they do not allow themselves to be used. I do not feel sorry for them because they could cut him off and make him stand on his own if they so desired.
As for you, I've been in your shoes. You cannot babysit another adult, and you'll make yourself miserable trying. I suggest you take care of your own mental well-being, which may mean you continue to cut him out of your life.
Best of everything!
2006-12-29 12:43:03 · answer #8 · answered by ☺ . CIEL . ☺ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he needs tough love. Don't you worry about him. There is always help out there all he has to do is ask. suggest to your parents that maybe he needs to talk to a counsolor. If he won't go then he needs tough love. Shut off all money and communication. he will call believe me. My son was the same way. he is now a respected person in our town. and thanks me everyday for tough love.
2006-12-29 12:55:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's the thing about users, they will use you until you say no more. you are doing the right thing by not helping him out. he won't stop on his own. you have to say no and not give him anything for him to learn that he can't come to you for anything. i'm going through a similar situation with my hubby's family.
2006-12-29 12:43:27 · answer #10 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋