I have boyfriend problems, HELP!?

Question

I just moved in with my boyfriend, and i found out he's a total slob. Plus he never goes to the store when we need something, he washed his hair with dish soap the other day 'cause we were out of shampoo! I've tried talking to him about it but he just shrugs it off. I don't want to break up over something so silly, but I'm getting really stressed out about it. (I'm a neat freak with a mild case of OCD) What should I do?

Answer 1

you need to take initiative...if he's not going to keep house...and u need him to....u have to.....start tidying up a little bit...make sure you always have what you need....even keep a little bit of a back up stock (buy two bottles of shampoo each time u are running low so that he won't have lemon scented hair ever again)....fold his clothes for him.......he might get mad at u for being his "mommy"....if he does...tell him that if he wants u to stop...he's going to have to start cleaning himself......hopefully that'll do it....

Answer 2

Sit down and talk to him. Try leaving the lid off of the clothes hamper and don't tell him he is doing something the wrong way when he does help. Try asking him to help with the dishes and he can watch how you wash them and gently tell him that you think you saw some soap left on the dish so he will know to rinse better and let him fold the towels however. Most men don't know how to clean so you should set up a day once a week where you guys clean and do it together to make sure it is getting done.

Don't forget to offer to help with projects that he is doing around the house and pick up branches, etc. around the yard while he is mowing. If everyone pitches in when things need to be done there is time left over in the day to spend time with each other. Good Luck.

Answer 3

LMAO GIRL PLEASE! He is a man, men get comfortable living with a woman because they know we can't live in mess. If you have OCD this is a must that you all should have discussed beforehand, and as ppl will embellish on how neat they are true u should have thought twice. Is him being a slob a dealbreaker? The things you seem to be complaining about are petty as hell, but then again that is my opinion. These are things I bitched about, and it became nagging cause it was going nowhere. If he loves you he will compromise. O yeah one more thing Ive learned, its not what you ask its how u ask it, I say that cause when ur stressed u speak a different way

Answer 4

This is one reason y we r suppose to know more about a person before we move in with them. If u don't like the way that he is living which by the way is also the way u r living now, u have to do something about it. This may sound silly, but y not just clean up? U say that u don't want to break up over this, so just clean it up and explain to him that he has to do his part. If the relationship is going to work u have to give to get. If he is not willing to work on changing then he ain't worth ur time.

Answer 5

hi, first of all you cant move in with a guy and expect to change his ways that is where most of us women mess up at when we try to change a man it will never happen. He will be himself and you can be yourself. u are not his mom ur are his lover! You have to love him for that leaving is not a solution when ur in love with someone. So deal with it or just live somewhere else. I'm sure he will stop it if u ask if not i can since some incompatibility u might need to rethink things. Oh yea and don't ever give ultimatums such as, "i'm going to leave u if u don't" just do it.

Answer 6

I live with my bf too and I have OCD...I'm willing to admit it. He's a slob when it comes to laundry and where the shoes go and he balls his socks up when he's done wearing them (that really gets to me) but he knows he has specific duties to help. I refuse to clean the shower and toilet so he does those cuz he wants it to be clean. I read an article in our alternative newspaper the other day about a gf complaining that her bf's a slob and he doesn't care. The advice columnist told her to clean up after him. I agree with that to some extent. Don't be his mother or housekeeper. Set boundaries!

Answer 7

You should talk with him about how you feel. Also, consider how much you can live with. Everyone has quirks that partners find out about, but it seems he doesn't seem motivated to change. It is also not possible for you to try to change him. It will only bring you angst. If he is like this around the house, how motivated will he be at work? This is something to consider, especially if he is going to be a provider for you or your children, should you decide you wish to have any. Best of luck to you.

Answer 8

i am also a neat freak and have OCD, but i live with people who dont care. so i do most of the cleaning. however, when i feel used i simply STOP doing everything and anything then they must clean themselves. try it. i know it's hard, but it might just work. and as far as him not going shopping, dont rely on him to get basic things. he's a man. a straight man at that. so dont expect him to improve much on the shopping part.

Answer 9

I would've moved out the day he washed his hair with dish soap. Besides that, you're living together so it's up to both of you to get things that you need at home, and if you're waiting for him to do the shopping, good luck. BTW, what did you wash your hair with?

Answer 10

Speak to him , meet him half way if he will go there or dump the smelly man and find a nicer guy , this will eat you up living like this. I'm a body clean freak but am untidy in the house , I am also still single at 39 hahahahaha so dont go mad :O)

Answer 11

Try talk to him about it, tell him how u feel and mayb try to solve the problem with him 2gether. If he still not change/ doesn't want to talk over this problem, then the decision is in ur hand. You guys just need to respect/ tolerate each other.
You can also do couple therapy. lolzz