I'm 16 yrs. old and I was adopted from Lima, Peru when I was 6 months old. I never knew my mother, much less my father. I don't know anything about her, I don't even have a picture to look at, and my adoptive parents didn't even get to meet her. I feel lost, and I feel that now I'm 16 yrs. old I need to find out more about her. I feel empty, I wanna know who she is, people that aren't adopted doesn't know how it feels to not know the person who gave you "life". I don't feel right asking my adoptive mother/father if I could ever find her, for some reason I feel that I would be hurting them, even though I Love them very much. All I know is her name is Amelia, I don't even know if she could still be alive. Anyways, I want to know if there is any way to confront your parents about finding about my birthmother without making them "sad" or something idk. Is there anything that could help you find your parents. If I found her I don't even know if she's want to meet me.
2006-12-29 11:42:57 · 6 answers · asked by Blah-Blah590 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I understand how empty you can feel not knowing that person who gave you life.
Let me tell you my story. I was adopted when I was 6 weeks old and never knew my birth parents. When I was 22 I worked at a insurance company and did a search on my birthmom's name. It was the only thing I knew about her. I was shocked when her info came up. I had found her! Of course, I wrote her and told her about me and my daughter and husband. She responded by saying that I was still a bad memory and she didn't want to have contact with me. I was heartbroken. A few years later when I was moving, I wrote her and gave her my new address and email just so she'd always know where I was if she changed her mind. She emailed me and said that we should keep in touch via email which we did for years. She was never married and dating a guy that she said she didn't want to tell about me. She didn't want to tell her parents that she had contact with me because of how ashamed she was (25 years later?) We exchanged pictures and even set up a date to meet once. She chickened out last minute. We haven't met yet and hardly talk anymore. I kind of wish I hadn't ever met her because I used to pretend she was this wonderful famous person. Just by talking to her, I knew I was better off not knowing her.
I know this wasn't the best story but I wish you luck and hope your experience is way better! Your parents are probably expecting the day you come to them asking about you birthparents. I love my adoptive parents and they were very supportive. I think they'll always be jealous deep down but this is something that you have to do just to help fill that void you feel. Just sit down and talk to your parents and let them know how you're feeling.
2006-12-29 12:57:31 · answer #1 · answered by teamo94 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 16 you have so many things going on in your life anyway so being adopted on top of that is really hard. But your "adoptive' parents love you and they will respect your questions, I'm sure they have been dreading this day, but they are probably prepared to help you all that they can. Try talking to your school counselor and she/he also will respect your feelings and be willing to help. There are also teen counselors that will talk to you and be there for YOU no matter what you find out. It is their job to help you in your quest to be a happier, more informed person.
good luck with your search
2006-12-29 12:37:08 · answer #2 · answered by angel1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok ask your parents for help in finding her im sure they will be more than understanding
i was adopted when i was 5 its perfectly normal to fell the way you do ask for help it will make it
so much easier and the will understand , they will probably be able to help you out the most and if they dont
want you to know
about her (unlikely) wait until you 18 and go look for her good luck
2006-12-29 12:17:10 · answer #3 · answered by crystal m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just sit down with them and tell them you would like to know more about your heritage and would they help you. If you are doing Family Tree with them {sort of} maybe they will enjoy the search. You could maybe ask about the town you were born in etc.
Good Luck!
2006-12-29 11:54:23 · answer #4 · answered by Mudder/ Gi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHATS WITH ALL CAPS!!!! ARE YOU YELLING on the pc?!?! haha sorry. yet your 14 dude! i understand the way you experience i'm the comparable age and a few of my guy acquaintances are precisely such as you! haha quiet down take a deep breath and decide your priorities, your possibly going into highschool like me and that i've got found out that there are greater considerable issues! your gonna locate somebody...who cares while it takes place as long because it does acceptable? solid success Kenzie
2016-10-28 16:29:07 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you're a minor, you'll need your parents help. Talk to them. They've been expecting you to say something about this.
2006-12-29 11:45:12 · answer #6 · answered by S K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋