Girlfriend won't go home.?

Question

How do i tell my girlfriend of two years i need alone time? I am either working or taking care of her. I am living at home to save up for college and feeding her and taking her out is expensive. Everything at her house is fine. Even though my parents are okay with it my room and bed are too small. I also like writing computer programs and playing video games, but she gets jealous of me being on the computer and says i am "ignoring her". I never get to go out with my friends because they are "bad influences". Her only reason for thinking that is because we got the cops called on us once for sticking bumper stickers on things and all my female friends are "sluts" and i'm gonna cheat on her. Feeding me is easy because i don't require expensive food, noodles and pizza are fine. She requires sit down restaurants or meals that require me to buy 4 or 5 things to make it. Am i crazy for wanting free time? Can i love something i can't stand being around 24/7?

Answer 1

Talk to her. You aren't crazy at all--spending too much time together is bound to drive you crazy; it's the reason a LOT of people break up.

But seriously talk to her. Explain that you really enjoy being with her, but you aren't ready to have a live-in girlfriend, especially at your parents house. It's commendable that you are trying to save for college, and explain that you just cannot support the current spending spree habit.

Also talk to her about her lack of trust. If she doesn't want you to go out with your friends because they are "bad influences" then she doesn't trust you. If she doesn't trust you, how is this a healthy relationship.

You two need to talk about this and decide if now is the time to take a break from such a demanding and potentially unhealthy relationship.

Answer 2

I feel for you sounds like she needs a hobbie or some friends of her own. She is smothering you, you need to have a chat with her about how you feel. You have to tell her the truth or you will end up getting fed up with her and breaking up over this. I'm sure she will understand and if she doesn't then she has some serious issues.

Answer 3

Ohhhh buddy. Yikes. She sounds spoiled, immature, controlling, bossy, and selfish. She must be very good-looking to have you even asking. You aren't crazy. She's just waaaay too much. Sounds like her going home would be a blessing and a relief. Sorry. You sound like a nice guy--just a worn-out one. She needs to get a life. She needs to go learn to be independent. You should be a wonderful part of her world--not her entire universe. She will suck the life out of you. Set limits, explain your needs, express empathy of hers and discuss some compromise. If that doesn't work, then its time to rethink your relationship. Why she thinks criticizing you and controlling you is okay is beyond me.

Answer 4

If your girlfriend were here, I'd tell her to grow up and face reality. She can't, and shouldn't, depend on men for anything. She's hijacked your entire life. Tell her to read these answers and see what the rest of society has to say about this situation.

Answer 5

welcome to the real world. SHe needs a life. You have a life but she is removing you from it. She needs to let you have space. You can water a plant, but at some point, you need to stop the water and allow some sun light to get at the plant. She is over watering you and you are drowning. You need other friends so that you have a life. She needs other friends too. You need to set up time to be together and time to be apart as well. Then you'll have thing to talk about when you see each other. Plus she needs to fend for herself at times and stop mooching off of you. I suspect that you two won't be together too long. Unless she changes, you will be doing her a favor. You can have a loving girlfriend and still have freedom to live your life too. It's called balance.

Answer 6

I completely understand where you are coming from. AND I do understand her insecurities.....BUT you need to sit her down and explain these things to her now before you end up resenting her for this. You feel smothered and she doesn't see it, so you need to let her know that the more that she acts like that the further she pushes you away. Don't let her find out the hard way. I understand jealousy because I was like that once and it is VERY hard to overcome....but you can't feel like a prisoner! My BF of 2 yrs who was also my best friend of like 3 broke up with me years ago for the very same reason and I regret acting like that now and I know that I was just young and stupid! Let her read your question so that maybe she can understand your true feelings.

Answer 7

Dude, just be honest and tell her you need some time apart! It doesn't sound like she has any of your interests in mind, only her own. She sounds over bearing and controlling. Tell her you need time to take care of yourself and not her. If she's a big girl she can buy her own meals!

Answer 8

It sounds like you have come to a crossroad in your life. Maybe this girl is not the one for you. She clearly feels that certain things are important to be happy... and you don't seem to require those same things or enjoy giving those things to her all the time. Move on. It may only get worse if you marry this girl.

Answer 9

The man usually makes the first move. Even if she’s interested in you, the most she’s likely to do is to stand near you or make eye contact a couple times to encourage you to approach her. Read here https://tr.im/gdpA4

Once you see her, don’t hesitate. 10 minutes from now she might not be there or another guy might have beaten you to the punch. Plus, women can tell when you’re working up the courage to approach. Shyness might be endearing in movies and romance novels, but it doesn’t work in the real world. Approach right away, even if you don’t know what you’re going to say

Answer 10

Dude, that would get so annoying. Tell her to eat the noodles or pizza or go hungry.. i would leave her if i were you.. but ya'll have been going out for a while now so yea i know thats hard.. but she's weird.. tell her to get a job if she doesn't have one.