My childrens father left a little over 2 years ago, and moved to a different state. He has 2 boys with a woman in Michigan that are now out of school, another child with another woman in Michigan that he has never seen, my 2 kids, and as of October 2005 another child. My problem is he is 39 (will be 40 in Feb.), and the girl he had this last child with was 15 ( 16 now)!!!! He wanted me to let my children (6&7) to go out of state for the holidays, and spend it with him and that girl and the baby. My response is H-LL NO!!!! I do not want my son or daughter to think that is acceptable behavior, because it is not. Really he should be in jail, in my opinion. He says I am making too much of it, and I say children learn by example and that is not a good example in my eyes. He doesn't see anything wrong with what he is doing, and I see that he is a grown man who has daughters, and what would he do if it were them. No answer. So who is right?
2006-12-29 10:55:29 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There is no custody arrangement-he left. He pays nothing. So why do I feel like the bad guy, and like I am taking from my kids- even though it goes against my every convicton.
2006-12-29 11:53:55 · update #1
There is no custody arrangement-he left. He pays nothing. So why do I feel like the bad guy, and like I am taking from my kids- even though it goes against my every convicton.
2006-12-29 11:54:59 · update #2
That was exactly the option I gave him. If he thinks he can do something about it, go to court and file papers. His trail of children that he has strung from one end of this country to another, without providing for any of them, running from the law on back child support owed for the first 3 ( in the $150,000 range last I knew 2 years ago), running from the law here in my state for domestic assult charges, and the fact he is committing a crime by having a child with a 15 year old pretty much tells me almost any judge would be out of thier mind to award him custody.But if he wants to take a shot-he can feel free.
2006-12-30 01:22:23 · update #3
He wants to see his two girls by you, he comes to visit them, he makes the effort, he spends time with them by coming to their state and getting a hotel room, and then spending time with them. His home is not a good example and I agree with you, they aren't going there, not a good example, end of discussion. I'm sorry for you, but how did he snow you into thinking he was good father material????
2006-12-29 11:09:05 · answer #1 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Frist of all is he listed on their birth certificates as their father? If he is it doesn't matter whether there is a custody agreement or any child support (child support, by the way, is not payment for visitation rights) There doesn't have to be an order of support of custody for a father to be entitled to see his children. If their father WANTS to he can blow a major stink about this even go as far as taking you to court.
While I agree with you about him and the little girl he has a child with there isn't much YOU can do about HIS morals. You CAN make sure your kids know and understand YOUR morals and that you do not condone their male parental unit's choices in life and that his are NOT the ways proper adults conduct themselves. You may not be able to keep him from seeing the kids but you CAN limit the time they spend with him. Make it for only a couple of days (three at the most), and get it ALL in writing and NOTARIZED. That way if there is a problem with him returning them you will have the LAW on your side.
2006-12-29 19:15:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right,he should be in jail for rape.The only thing that you are wrong about is him being a grown man.Grown mature men don't do things like that.My wife and i have 4 adult children now.I have one son from a previous marriage,she had 2 two,a boy & a girl before we met.I learned early on that a man is suppose to take care of the child or children he help make.Not to jump from woman to woman making babies and not being in their lives.In my opinion,he should be paying child support for each child.After he gets out of jail for rape.If you know these other women,maybe you and them could get together and all of you file for support.Even the 16 yr. old.
2006-12-29 11:32:59 · answer #3 · answered by Willnotlietoyou 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can see your point. Personally I wouldn't feel comfortable letting my kids witness that. Not sure what your custody arrangements are but I would call an attorney to see what they suggest. In some states he would be breaking the law as a child predator.
2006-12-29 11:03:49 · answer #4 · answered by CA DIVA 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OH MY GOD 15? Not only no but HELL NO!!!! I'm 44 and have always been involved with younger women, but women not some little girl, if she had been 21 or even 20 I would say let it go but a 15 year old child!! Tell him to go to hell, he is anyway!
2006-12-29 11:03:41 · answer #5 · answered by chosen37 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would not even let him anywhere near the kids. Tell him to sign off on the children and get the heck out of their lives.
2006-12-30 10:55:44 · answer #6 · answered by Dee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do what you think is best for your kids. You are the one raising them. Does he give support? If so then only give what you have to for visitation in the divorce. If he will sleep with a child then what will he do to your kids?
2006-12-29 11:17:26 · answer #7 · answered by ronnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesnt pay child support then he is a dead beat dad. Take this guys sorry a** to court.
2006-12-29 12:22:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
dont feel bad your totally right a guy in his 40s marrying a 15 yr old thats just disgusting.
2006-12-29 12:07:01 · answer #9 · answered by nobody 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not feel guilty or question yourself. Not letting them go is the best thing you can do. He is not a father, he was just a sperm donor.
2006-12-29 11:36:52 · answer #10 · answered by steffers4979 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋