My father in law moved in with my husband, brother in law, our infant daughter and I in June (6 months ago) as I assumed was a Temp situation. I cant stand him anymore, He causes fights between my husband and I, he disregards rules we make for our daughter, He tells me that our parenting technique is wrong (but doesnt' say anything to my husband), he goes through our mail and phone messages, He has caused problems between our naighbors (whom I am very good friends with) and him self. He works full time making pretty good money and doesn't pay rent or gives us money for food, bills ect. I really want him out of my house and to stop freeloading off of us, But my husband doesn't understand, and doesn't want to kick out family... HELP ME... tell me what i can do to either get my husband to understand, or to kick out my father in law.
2006-12-29 10:32:11 · 11 answers · asked by tayla mom 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Talk to your husband calmly and explain. You do not complain about money other than he gives none. But remind your hubby how much things cost. Brother in law needs to go also to be fair unless he is doing a bit to contribute to the house. The two of them can get a place together. Explain that you do not want the fussing caused by him. Make a list so that you can rmember when you talk with your husband. If he continues to not listen then give him an order to have them out of the house by a certain date. If he gives them 1 month that is more than enough time to find anything. If he is causing more problems the time gets real short. Let hubby no know that if mama ain't happy then no ones going to be happy.
2006-12-29 10:54:20 · answer #1 · answered by ronnny 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OK wow! First of all your household is very full! You, your husband, your infant daughter; plus your brother in law and your father in law all under one roof? And your husband doesn't see you out numbered? First I have to understand if this is a cultural thing is why you have extended family living there, because even his brother living there cannot be good for your marriage. Then along comes his father too? I suppose you have to cook for them all as well? Shoot woman! You should be the queen of that house. All kidding aside, you and your husband need some alone time and you need to tell him how this makes you feel without placing blame on him. Tell him how you feel alienated from your neighbors because of things your father in law has said/done etc. I am afraid that if you do not say something soon, your marriage is going to be in big trouble but quick!
2006-12-29 18:44:53 · answer #2 · answered by faith4ricknlisa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you are in a tough spot. If it were your Mom or Dad, you wouldn't feel right kicking them out either, but I think you and your hubby need to come up with a plan to get him set up in his own place, especially if he's earning money and has a steady job, there is no reason for him to live with you. Tell hubby he needs to set some boundaries, that the three of you need to sit down and lay the ground rules which should have been done before, but better late than never. If that doesn't work, tell hubby that you are setting a date, six more months is all you can handle. Good Luck!!!!
2006-12-29 18:40:18 · answer #3 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You as his "landlord" is obligated to evict him from the home because he isn't paying rent, ect. He also doesn't have a say in how you raise your child. Your the parents and have the final say, he should only be giving suggestions at times when you
2006-12-29 18:54:02 · answer #4 · answered by Allyson B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kick his butt out!
Give your guy an ultamatim, either kick out his father, or have him start paying rent, stop going through your mail and messages, stop ignoring the rules you have set for your daughter, and stop causing problems with the neighbors... or you will look for a place of your own, bringing your daughter with you.
Sounds harsh, but might be a wake up call for hubby.
2006-12-29 18:56:27 · answer #5 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start packing, tell your husband someone has to go. Then don't back down, leave if necessary. This will drive you nuts, and it won't get any better as time progresses. Just think what sort of mess you will be in 20 years. Get on top of this situation fast or it could rule you forever.
BTW, your husband's understanding won't preserve your sanity. From the tone of your letter things had better change fast or you will soon be a prime candidate for the "funny farm" or worse yet, on trial.
2006-12-29 18:51:36 · answer #6 · answered by gimpalomg 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You and your husband should sit and talk with your father in law let him know you dont approve of him criticizing your parenting skills and that you would like it if he would help you out finacially since he is living in your home for free. If the problem persists and your husband wont give him the boot you should seriously talk to your husband about his priorities.
2006-12-29 19:05:58 · answer #7 · answered by nobody 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For one he a free loader and he needs toget his own place. That's what lonely people do. Misery likes company. I would tell my husband he needs to leave or I would leave. He's a grown man so he should be able to stay on his own. Get his own place and run that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-12-29 18:37:54 · answer #8 · answered by foxy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pack a bag for you and your daughter. Meet all of them at the door the next day they all come home from work.
It's either you two men or me and my daughter are leaving tonight."....
Then DO IT.
2006-12-29 18:58:50 · answer #9 · answered by domesticgoddess 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its your house set down some house rules and tell him how its going to be and if he dosnt comply with them tell him he may have to move out your husband needs t back you on this
2006-12-29 19:31:03 · answer #10 · answered by hallowsevenight 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋