What is going on here?

Question

We have been together for nearly 5 years, unmarried, no kids, we're 24, and were virgins when we met.

He recently cheated on me in a one night stand and confessed all by himself three weeks later-there was no way I'd have known or found out otherwise.I told him I would forgive and forget until I found out that he had her number and she slept over in his apartment twice (he said nothing happened either time tho).When I caught him lying about calling her and getting texts from her I dumped him by text.

When we met up 2 or 3 days after that he wanted to get back together but I asked if he was curious about other people and he said yes so I said we should take a break and see other people over Xmas.

He slept with someone else this thursday, and he said it was awkward and boring,he says loves me and can't wait to see me in the new year.

Any advice?

Is this something he can just get out of his system?

Answer 1

hes not for u and he will cheat again and again, hes using u, ditch the dik

Answer 2

He wants to experiment!!! R u gonna let him, r u strong enough do u love him and trust him enough. Do u quit now while ur still ahead. U r obviously very close as u have been together 4 a lng time and r still very young and he misses the stability of your intimacy; growing up together means a lot. Dont doubt that he slept with her though hes a man. Maybe ask if u can help with his experiments if u think u can hadle it. Maybe he is just bored and u can salvage it and maybe have some fun on the way. What do U wnt.

Answer 3

Get the big picture--he is a liar. And you seem to have a notion that you need to be with him---say goodbye, it's been nice to know you. Take a break--eventually you will find someone who doesn't lie or cheat. Set your sights high---look for a man that is honest---He doesn't love you---he just knows what to say when no one else is available and you're around. Keep in mind he could spread a disease to you or get another girl pregnant. He's having the fun he wants--go out and forget him. He'll be fine on his own---obviously.

Answer 4

He's betrayed you already.

You've been betrayed fully.... bonking the *** of some girl in his apartment... whilst your probably out buying him gifts.

Why oh why you wanna give him second chance. He's again proved he's an idiot by shagging another girl after your "break up".

If he had any respect for you he wouldn't have gone on a new shagging spree and taken the hint that you didn't like being cheated on.

Shag shag shag - let him shag anyone and as many people as he can... new one every day - let him get it out of his system like you suggest. Just make sure you have his dinner ready when he gets home as he'll need to keep his energy up for next-days shag.

Answer 5

Yes, he really loves you...that's why he's sleeping with every tart he can behind your back! This guy is a scumbag, forget him before you have kids with him and he does it again.

Imagine how your poor children would feel with a father like that? It would be misery for all of you. Where will you be then? In big trouble, that's where. Find someone else. Don't be desperate and settle for a cheater like him.

Answer 6

i know 5yrs is a long time baby girl....
but i think you have a good idea when u say he can go out there a try flying a little bit (although you just need to make sure he will come back)
dont worry yourself too much about it...let him have a good time and when he is ready, he will come back and settle down...although the next time, don't settle for anything less than a wedding ring.
sounds like you guys got on fine to be still together after 5yrs and obviously he feels he is missing out!
let him find out the hard way, and when he's been battered and bruised, he'll come back.
afterall, you dont want him to resent you for being his 1st love.
in the meantime, go out with your friends and have a ball....just be safe ok...
and good luck ;-)

Answer 7

If he loved you why would he want to sleep with other people?

I think you both settled down to young and were both inexperienced. It will do you both good to get out away from each other and experience other relationships. Take your time and live a little - who know you might find each other again a few years down the line, if its meant to be it will be! And if not - well theres plenty more fish in the sea as they say!

Answer 8

the fact that you were both virgins when you met could have a lot to do with it. he may feel that he wants "more experience" with other people. but the reason why he cheated on you is unimportant, he has and you don't deserve it. If he can do it once, he'll do it again. Find someone better and don't get back with him.

Answer 9

He's a scumbag and nothing more! Do not waste your time on this guy. Would you ever want to get married to a liar...who you know full well would probably cheat on you when you were married or even worse...if you had kids.

Get a nice decent bloke and he'll realise what a tosser he really is!

Answer 10

My advice would be to explain that he cannot really love you if he's hitting it with other girls. I'd extend the break a few months Ask him how he would like you sleeping around. Or, better yet, tell him you're curious too. If it's meant to be, it'll happen.

fn--that girl sleeping over and nothing happening.....? LIE !!

Answer 11

hmmmm tough one.

sounds to me like you guys need a break, just to refresh how much you mean to each other. But also, remember he cheated on you, he lied, explain to him that he needs to decide what he wants before he comes back, tell him you want commitment if he's going to be with you.