I am engaged to a great guy. Says he loves me, I'm the only one for him, and I feel the same. Latley it seems like I am getting overly jealous and protective. I did make him throw out all of his porn (I see no need for that when getting married, you want to see a naked women tell me I take off my clothes), I can't stand to hear about ex's, or past sexual encoutners. I know I have some trust issues, but I think this is starting to drive me nuts.
2006-12-29 09:14:46 · 13 answers · asked by Knome Lover 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
A few more things...I hate it when he talks about other women (in Hollywood or not). I simply want to be the only women he lusts after and I feel (sorry guys) that men are uncapable of this. Are they incapable of this? It just seems like guys are "guys" and they can be as piggy as they want...married or not. I think it is wrong for a guy who is engaged/married to look at other women. Please help me....is this a horrible way of thinks?
2006-12-29 09:21:49 · update #1
WOW!!! It's kind of sad how only a few of the answers were from morally sound people. It seems as though most of these anwsers are missing the boat. Marriage is a sacred thing and it's all about respect. I am willing to do anything sexually so therefore why does he "need" all this other stuff. If I was a man I would be appauled knowing that so many people think men are nothing but sex crazed.
2006-12-30 02:40:36 · update #2
Your right for not wanting him to look at porn, because if he wants to see a naked woman, he's got you, why should he have to look at porn. I used to suffer from a sexual addiction and what caught me was porn, and when I went through counceling to overcome my addiction, the first thing to go was porn. And I don't really miss it. I used to expect my wife to look like and do the things I saw in the pornos. It was VERY wrong of me, and thankfully she has forgave me for it. But I can understand why trust issues could start from that. Because if a guy isn't going to look at porn, and pictures of naked women other than you, it can cause alot of issues, that even though he will never meet those women, he's putting them before you. And he needs to put you first.
2006-12-29 09:19:52 · answer #1 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have had a ex that was like that he always was comparing me to an ex saying how he is in love with all these celebrities and how he looked at porn on the computer 24/7. That is the way he was so I left him. I mean I had my reasons and if he can't see what is wrong with that he may need to do some soul searching. My Fiancee is all about me he does not look at porn he does not gawk at all these other females he does not talk about exs or past encounters that is kind of hurtful and rude. He loves me foe me 100 percent. Like I said I have been there and when you are in that kind of situation people look at you weird but I know how it feels and when someone is doing that it ruins the relationship. You need to tell him it bothers you and in a way hurts you if it is still the same you need to leave. Find a man that will be all about you not exs or celebs or porn
2006-12-29 18:04:20 · answer #2 · answered by Danielle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope this guy of yours knows want he getting before he marrys you. There's one thing a man can't stand is a over jealous and protective women.Your going to make him feel his married his mother if you don't stop now. This talk about his ex and past sexual encounters, who bring that up?And if he is he needs to stop that. He wrong for that. And your the one who needs to tell him that. Say look honey if were going to have a Healthy marriage I don't what to hear about your past relationships OK. In tell him why. And he might come back at you with something crazy, but you just make your point across in stick with it. And don't make a big deal out of it or a big deal if he says something crazy. Just move on. But am telling you acting to jealous will turn your man off. He don't want to marry his mother. You need to read ten stupid things couples do to mess up their relationships and girl your all ready do it. But you can be save if you do something about it and after your married read the proper care and feeding of husbands both written by Dr. Laura C. Schlessinger.Now do the right thing
2006-12-29 17:30:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
SLIDE STOP !!!!! The fastest way to run someone off is to put them in a box and take them out when you want to play---The porn thing --well its not for everyone--but the being overly jealous thing is going to wear on him--and it will make you ill too--there could come a time when you start accusing him of seeing others just because he talked to a gal at work or at the store--and you will push him away --Keep in mind that his EX's are just that he doesn't want to be with them he is in love with you--he wants to marry YOU--And why don't you trust him?? Has he cheated on you before?? And if so it sounds like you cant get over it and probably never will so tell me again WHY you are staying with him?? IF he never has cheated and you still don't trust him you will absolutely run him off--I know my ex husband (Of ten years) did----constantly being questioned where I was who did I talk to --On and ON till I just said enough and called it quits--
2006-12-29 18:08:45 · answer #4 · answered by skizzle-d-wizzle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can honestly, truthfully say that you NEVER look at a Hollywood star and go "Oh, he's hot!" then you have grounds to be upset that your fiance' does the same thing.
It sounds to me that you are going WAY overboard on everything, and I'm surprised that your fiance' puts up with it. He will never be able to live up to the "I'm the only woman in the world that he ever looks at or thinks about" ideal that you seem to need. He's human, after all. But there is a huge, huge difference between looking at someone and thinking "They're cute" and wanting to do anything more than just look.
2006-12-29 17:36:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first: never make a man throw out his porn silly girl! why? because guys need sex a lot more than women do, i dont care WHAT you think right now, 3-4 years down the line, or add a baby or babies, you arent going to be up for it as often. porn is his way of getting what he needs, without hurting his relationship. so many women get so upset about porn, its not just about a naked women, its fantasies, easy access, things that turn him on for reasons unknown that have NOTHING to do with looking at you naked.
NOW...
Maybe you arent ready to get married? If you dont trust him now, then you wont trust him after you say 'I do'. Married men are to some women as pot is to Snoop Dog, they cant not have it ya know?
Hearing about his past relationships help you learn more about WHO he is and WHAT he is about. Being so forceful is tacky and not something that he is going to want to deal with the rest of his life.
I lost a great bf and someone i really did and do love because of my jealousy, he couldnt take it and we broke up... it hurt really bad too...
Over time I dealt with MY OWN insecurities (something like what i think you have) and now I am engaged to a great guy who i love AND trust.
Take some time away from him and get to the root of your own insecurities...
If not, your marriage is over before it starts.
2006-12-29 17:23:31 · answer #6 · answered by *meh* 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Stop being such a prude! Who cares if your man looks at a little porn? At least he's not out sleeping with other women (which is what you will eventually drive him to do if you don't stop acting like his mother)! Why not surprise him and ask him to share in his intrest of porn with you, this will totally turn him on and he will think of you as an exciting girlfriend instead of an overbearing one. I promise he will love you for this! Any guys out there agree?
2006-12-29 17:29:13 · answer #7 · answered by madam 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you have taken one step past rational. You are not behaving appropriately. Let him have his fantasy.
Tell him that you are uncomfortable with his talk of Ex's and past sexual exploits. Those do need to stop. However, he is engaged to be married. This isn't a death sentence. He will be you husband not a corpse in the living room that suddenly becomes blind to 50% of the worlds population.
You NEED to relax slightly.
2006-12-29 17:29:38 · answer #8 · answered by Poppet 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is beyond tacky for talking about past sexual encounters and other women and clearly has no respect for you. Save yourselves the trouble of a divorce and break off the engagement.
2006-12-29 17:40:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
woah dude u need to get your act together....if a guy doesn't look something is wrong...it is a normal reaction for a guy to look at a hot chick---and to view porn....remember this only gets him ready for u not anyone else...and yes we all have past lives that included having sex with others---u cannot change the past---
You are the nut here not him....if u cannot accept these things you need to move on so he can have a normal life
sounds like u are a contro freak....becareful or u will lose him
2006-12-29 17:36:17 · answer #10 · answered by sunbun 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋