Ok one of my girlfriends is probably pregnant. She wants me to be with her when she tells her parents?

Question

Ok I just asked a question about this and all the signs point that way. Even if she isnt she needs to share with her family that her period shows no sign of starting and the way that happened (ie her relationship with a boy). They know about the relationship they just don't know yet that they have been going "all the way" lol lol. His parents probably will want to know too because they might become grandparents way before they expected to lol lol. She wants me to be with her to help her with the anger that she expects from them. I don't mind doing that. My dad has an expression he loves to use for just an occasion like this and it goes something like this "The SH*T will hit the fan". I dont't mind being with her when she tells them but should I try to get them to be more understanding or just be with her and let her do all the talking? I hate to tell you her age and my age so I won't. Needless to say this isn't a normal predicatment for young teens to be in.

Wow I love all the great answers. Can't choose or rather I wish I could choose all your answers as the best answer. I was there but played the strong silent type. I held her hand when she started to cry but after a while her parents and her calmed down. Yes she's definitely pregnant because they took her to the doctor and he confirmed it. He was a little shocked to find out he's going to be a father in 9 months and his parents were super shocked too. My boyfriend Jamie says hes struting around like a rooster who just raided the hen house lol lol. Oh well. Jamie said that he wants to continue being with her because now she can't get pregnant and he tasted honey and loves it. I'm not sure the parents would approve. Oh well I'll probably be asking some more questions about it in the future. Thanks again to all of you for giving me such GREAT!! advice. I love all of you.

Answer 1

I am guessing that you are around 12 because of all the lol in your question. this is not funny it is serious. First off she should find out if she is pregnant. Your friend is lucky to have a friend like you. Don't say anything because in the end it will make things worst. just be their for moral support. If your friend turn out to be pregnant it will be difficult, i was 15 when i found out I was pregnant it was hard but things will turn out ok. feel free to email me if you need to talk.

Answer 2

So what's the question?

Should she tell them? Yes. They'll probably tell the boyfriend's parents even if no one else does. They can make arrangements for doctor visits and proper tests. (Just in case it is a false alarm...) Sooner or later they'll notice.

Should you be there? It can't hurt, especially if she really is afraid of physical violence. Maybe you can get, say, just her mother over to your place to tell her in front of your parents, if you're really worried about violence.

After all, if you're there for moral support, and her parents ask you to leave so they can talk privately, then what will you do? Talk this over with your friend first - she has to agree, if you're asked to leave, that she should say she wants you to stay, or whatever... until you feel it's safe to leave.

I would let her do the talking. Maybe someone else would be better, if the parents are liable to turn on you and accuse you of being a bad influence on their daughter? Be prepared to answer that.

But, as much as possible, you should just be there to watch. Let her do the talking. Otherwise, they might take it out on you too. You'd hate to be on the list of people they forbid her to see. Would it be easier to do one parent at a time?

Another thing -people sometimes get defensive when they know they're wrong. Your friend should avoid the "it's not my fault" arguments. Just admit she messed up and say she's sorry. Arguing over things is what raises tempers and voices. Apologizing helps calm down.

Answer 3

personally, i do not think that you should be there when she tells her parents. its okay to be there afterward and before and during her pregnancy and everything but the process of telling her parents is a very personal thing. i do not think that the parents would appreciate it either because there are just certain things that should not be discussed in front of others. also, keep in mind that they could be hurt even more knowing that their daughter told her friend first before her own parents.

IF you still decide to go with her, i would advise you to say nothing to the parents. it is their decision how to handle such a situation and furthermore, it sounds like you are very young from the details you provided so the parents will probably put very little credence in whatever you have to say because they have MUCH more life experience. i am not trying to downplay your role or intelligence or anything like that. i just want to present the parents perspective. they will be angry, disappointed, and sad...also, try to realize that you may not want to be part of this situation after you take everything into account. this is going to be VERY traumatizing for everyone involved. although i am not saying that you need to abandon your friend in any way, i simply think that it might be best to remain estranged from the parents and that whole situation. once you get involved in that, the parents and other family members may think badly of you for whatever reason just out of rash decisions.

whatever you decided to do, good luck with it all and i hope everything works out okay.

Answer 4

Every now and then on here curiousity overwhelms and I look at a poster's other question, and...

Cripes. Becky, here, is THIRTEEN.

lol lol -- sorry, couldn't resist.

If you're worried about 'bad SH*T going down,' not just stuff hitting the fan, see if you can't convince her to talk to another adult first, and have that adult be available when she tells them. Your mother. A school nurse. Somebody from her church, if such a thing exists. An aunt. Even somebody's substantially older sister.

You, at thirteen, are likely to be shown the door before anything much is said. Be prepared for that, and leave politely.

She should consider calling Planned Parenthood and asking for a referral for some counselling. It seems to me it might help if she went in well-informed about her situation.

Answer 5

You should not input ANYTHING into her conversation with her parents. I can see you being there......I can also see you being kicked out so be prepared. But if you do speak up, you probably won't be let back in for a very, VERY long time. It's very nice of you to be there for her. But you will be on her parents sh*t list also for a while. Thats something you have to realize heading into a situation like this. They will lash out, of course at her, her bf, her bfs parents......and you, just because you're sitting there. There is a good chance they'll call up your parents too. Thats just how we parents work. That's a pretty thick situation for her, and her parents. So just keep that in mind for the time that you're there with your friend.

Answer 6

Well sweetie, by the way you sound, it sounds like you are both just babies yourself. You are her best friend, but unfortunately, this is something she has to do on her own. If she tells her parents when you're around, it could change the way she tells them. People act differently, around their family and their friends, you being there will probably make things worse. If anything, the boy who got her pregnant should be there, not you. I am HOPING and PRAYING...that hopefully she isn't pregnant, but if she is....the two people who were in that bed should be the two people to break it to the parental units.lol

Answer 7

ohh. hun..I know exactly where your coming from...I just went through that but thank goodness for me it was just a false alrm! well I really think that she does need to tell her parents and her boyfriend should tell his! I don't see where it would be wrong for you to be there with her in her time of need...I never thought i could count on my friends so i had to go through it alone. This time in her life right now she REALLY needs someone to be there for her because pregnancy is very hard to cope with at a young age. Soo...be the best friend you can and be there for her as much as possible. It also wouldn't hurt for you to Try and loosen her parents up after she tells them. Good Luck hun..tell your friend I said Best wishes!!!!

Answer 8

She should take a test to be sure she's pregnant, before freaking out. My best friend was 14 when she had her son... and she did just fine. It will be a hard road for her if she is pregnant... but it can been done. Just be there to support your friend. She will need all the support and help she can get.

Answer 9

I commend you on your support for your friend. She will definitely need that in the days to come. As far as the parents go. I would just be there for support, SILENTLY. This situation needs to be handled between your friend and her parents the way they see fit. You trying to get the parents to be more understanding isn't going to work and could just make them more angry. Also, the father-to-be will definitely need to be informed as well as his parents. But agian, that will need to be handled by your friend and her parents. Good luck to both of you.

Answer 10

I think you should be there its always goo dto know that you can count on someone for support. In a situation like this just try and be there and not say much while the conversation is happening. Its scary to put out some news like that. your friend is very lucky to have you!!!!