How do I stop my daughter's father's family from brainwashing my daughter whenever she goes to visit them.

Question

I have sole custody because we were never married. I allow her to visit him and his family out of state for Christmas. I stopped going because her family is so rude to me. Now, this Christmas I let her (she's 6) go fly with another adult to see them. She was only there for 2 days and when she came back they had filled her head with all kinds of crap that she does not need to respect me. Would I be wrong to not allow her to visit them without me? I don't want to be around them at all, I can barely stand talking to them on the phone ( they are the phoniest people) They seem to be buying my daughter with extravagant gifts and even though I give her a lot they always find a way to out do me. For instance I told her grandmom that I was buying a new computer and I was going to give my daughter my old one -it works good enough for a six yr. old.

Answer 1

You only have to let her see her Daddy? Tell grandma and the rest of the family if they can't show respect for you around your child they will not be aloud to have contact with her. I would also have them clear all gifts with you first , before they are given or bought for your daughter. You are the in control you have the power use it. It's for your daughters interest that she sees mommy can't be push around or to the side. That she is to respect you no matter where she is or who she is with. That's are rigth as a mother we gave birth to them they respect us.

Answer 2

nicely he has an attractive to make certain his daughter, while it somewhat is convient for him. a week, extremely isn't very long in any respect, it somewhat is often on a 2 week foundation while there's a courtroom order in contact, such as by divorce, so i could say, if it somewhat is basically been a week, then he extremely isn't even required to return via and notice her lower back for no less than yet another week. If he needs to make certain her in the previous that, then you definately would desire to be pleased about that. yet extra advantageous than something it sounds as in the adventure that your nevertheless hung up on him, and basically want him to be there each and all of the time, which probably can not ensue, so in case you do bypass to courtroom, basically comprehend you will basically be seeing him and he will basically be required to would desire to make certain her two times a month and at that factor, he would be waiting to take her homestead with him for visits, if he so want's to take action with the courts approval.

Answer 3

Frankly I don't think a 6 year old SHOULD get a computer at all. But that's my way of raising kids. Ok you have sole custody, does the father have court ordered visitation and does he pay child support? If he has court ordered visitation you can't keep her from going to her father's. The court has entitled him to visitation and you can't decide against it on your own. The fact that his family "brainwashes" your daughter is just one of the problems you will have to deal with since you are split from her father...that's life. You CHOSE to make a baby with the man.

Answer 4

Family disputes are difficult.You are her mother and they cant tell your daughter not to show respect.They should notbe bebuying her extravagant gifts for your daughter. Just be aware that your daughter is caught up in all of this messy business.A child her age does not need a brand new computer until high school age.Maybe you need to put your foot down with the family in a nice and firm manner.

Answer 5

You may want to consider supervising the visitation yourself and just refuse to play games with these people. Legally, both he and the grandparents could petition the courts for visitation and probably get it.
In my opinion, your daughter is old enough to understand the truth of the situation and honesty is the best policy. As far as "outdoing" you, that only happens by the way of concept ~ you are irreplaceable in your daughter's life and your love and support can't be replaced by money.

Answer 6

You should stop letting her go or talk to an attorney or lawyer to see what he suggest so it will not affect you in the future... Also you can confront them and let them knoe that as long as they continue to be mean to you and brainwash your little girl that she will no longer visit them... And have a serious talk with your daugther explain to her that you are the least person that will hurt her that you love her so much to hurt her in any way .... But you need to be respected by her and you will always be her mom !!! good luck and best wishes!!!

Answer 7

My dad used to do things like that to my brother, sister and I. The problem is, you can't do anything to stop their behavior. What you can do is teach your daughter well. Teach her that while gifts are fun, that saving money and spending wisely are important. Giving to those with less is important. Teach her that mommy and daddy may disagree on different things, but you both love her very much. As your daughter gets older, she will become wise to the games her father's family is playing. It's just in the meantime, it will be difficult for you.

Answer 8

for the sake of your daughter next time accompany her and be civil, that way u can control what goes on around your daughter.

u can tell the family that the gifts are way too much or u can just accept them. i ussually buy my nieces and nephew small gifts for christmas, but the ones that live out of state i ussually go out of my way to buy something extra special because i don't see them often. maybe this is why they buy her extravagant gifts.

Answer 9

my family is really religious and think that I am someday going to regret my life and how I raise my kids. They believe that I will have consequences for my choices... blah blah blah... There are so many guilt trips that they use to get me to live according their truths... because of this.. I obviously can't let my kids get to close to them. My family has agreed not to 'preach' to my kids.. but my kids pick it up. That we are wrong. That we are sinful. That we do it all messed up. That we have a bad family (I am not married before I had my kids), etc. So when my kids do go, I am with them. I will let my family have up to 4 hours alone with them... at Christmas I allow one sleepover a year with who ever she chooses. I however have these rules in my head. My family doesn't know this, nor my kids. It would hurt my family who knows already that I don't trust them with my kids to return them in tact (still believing in themselves and their mommy). And my kids know that many people believe different things and that I don't agree with my family, it doesn't make them wrong or bad. I am careful to create an environment where my kids do NOT have to choose. My family and me believe different, it doesn't make one right or one good and the other bad or wrong. And that is why they don't go there much. Because with my family... there is only one right and my kids are in a place to choose. The truth or mommies way that Satan is in control of.

If i were you.. .I would take the kids myself... and stay for 3 hours and leave. I would not leave them alone with these people. Or keep them away altogether. And tell your family why. That is unacceptable. I told my family it is unnacceptable, and dont' even let them give my kids gifts from their religion. They all threw HUGE fits.. and I wished I hadn't said anything, they made such a big fuss and twisted it into all being my fault. In the end I moved and was glad taht they at least know why they aren't close to us anymore

Answer 10

I would stop all visitation and call and let the very rude phoney reletives know (say it nicely) that you have decided to prevent further trips because you do not appreciate her attitude towards you when she comes home and the adjustment period is just to much work. Let them know that you will not let her go without you and you do not want to go because of how rude they treat you in front of your daughter.