ok i have a dad that lives in california and i live in oklahoma. well he has NEVER been there for me, mentally and finacially! im 14 and i was born in california and when i was born he was in jail. then me and my mom and 2 other sisters move to oklahoma and my mom got married a couple years later...and now im 14.. well the last time i talked to my dad he said that he out ran the cops 5 times with his bicycle and went trough 4 bikes in the process of doing that, and he was all bragging about how he hustles ppl and used to beat my mom and do a bunch of drugs and is totally irresponsible. well now an opertunity came up for me to go to california in the summer with my friends and then i will be able to see his side of the family, my mom really doesnt want me too but said that she will think about it, do u think that i should go? i mean its only for three weeks, but i dont think i should trust him? im really confused about my feeling for him! would u go or do u think im better off?
2006-12-29 08:30:42 · 9 answers · asked by nicoleaase 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It's perfectly normal to want to see the best in your father. But it sounds like he might try to take advantage of you somehow. Don't judge his family by the way he is. If they are good enough people, there's not much harm in you visiting them. Limit your visit with your father though. You will be better off in the long run. Enjoy your summer with your friends if your mom lets you go. It's a hard decision for her to make.
2006-12-29 08:36:09 · answer #1 · answered by poppywest1223 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he doesnt sound the best role model but it also doesn sound like he really 'gets it' either,,,he obviously thinks these things will impress you but at the end of the day he is your dad and you are bound to be curious about who/what/where and how,,,,would it be possible for you to take a friend,,someone who can take some of the pressure away from you if things are a bit fraught?if you feel 'safe' it may not seem so bad and you should be able to cope otherwise i would have to advise waiting to see them all until you feel more confident you can speak your mind and not feel like the child that nobody really knows.it is the adult that should make the effort not the child and even though you feel more or less ready for it,all may not work out as planned.go on your trip but think hard before commiting yourself to seeing them alone and if you do turn up with a friend in tow they cannot complain,,it will be you who has made the first move and not them,,it is good you feel you are mature enough to not be scared but that may not be enough when you actually see them,be careful and good luck.
2006-12-29 16:42:29 · answer #2 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if for no other reason than to cure your curiosity I say go. His family may be ok and you have a right to know about him and his family. And you'll be going with friends so you'll get to see some of the world at the same time if you get there and are uncomfortable you can always leave and go back to your friends or home. think of it as an adventure
2006-12-29 16:39:11 · answer #3 · answered by shedevilang 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont see what the confusion is.
Your 'dad' does not sound like a great guy.
Bad enough he beat your mother then calls YOU up to brag about it.
add to that jail time
and his favorite passtime of running from the law
your mother is a better woman that I am
the next time you saw him (if you were my daughter) would be on the side of a milk carton
2006-12-29 16:40:18 · answer #4 · answered by xxxxxxx b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not go. You are only 14. It's normal to want to find good in our family, but he is a dangerous person for you to spend time with, especially so far away from your family and friends. If you want to get to know his family, try writing and e-mailing first, then if that goes well consider going to visit.
2006-12-29 16:39:42 · answer #5 · answered by Robin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how old are your friends? Does your mother trust them to look out for you? you should not plan to stay with him until you and your mother have checked things out. I understand your desire to spend time and get to know him but even you are not sure of him yet. Start slow with short visits, telephone calls, and letters. If you go to California stay with your friends and their adult supervision. Follow your instincts. if it doesnt feel right...it probably isnt.
2006-12-29 16:40:59 · answer #6 · answered by katlady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't understand why you even CONTEMPLATE going! He is a no good scumbag loser. Nothing good will come of it. You won't be safe there with him. He is a stranger to you anyway. How do you know he won't turn you out to do tricks for drug money or whatever? He is not to be trusted. Stay with momma little girl. You don't know what you're messing with. He will use you.
2006-12-29 16:37:31 · answer #7 · answered by katme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay AS FAR AWAY from him as possible. He is a negative influence on your life, and you DO NOT need anyone like that around you.
2006-12-29 16:45:08 · answer #8 · answered by Mike M. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is you dad after all....no one is sayin trust....but atleast see
2006-12-29 16:56:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋