how can I get a guy who is a "friends with benefits" to fall for me?

Question

I've known him for five years, we've been intimate for three years. I want to learn some subtle ways to get him to see me as more than just a good friend. I mean when he does get girlfriends he always comes runing to me w/his probs and when they're not putting out. so whats up with that? i'm confused

Answer 1

You sleep with a guy because his girlfriends aren't giving him any???? Honey he doesn't want you he already gets what he needs without the commitment. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free???? STOP CHEATING!!!!!!

Answer 2

I had the same situation. We didn't discuss other relations that we may have (if any) had. When we were together I was treated with the utmost respect. He has shown a great deal of interest in me for years and has been a great friend.

I'd suggest you asked your friend what is the nature of your relationship? What are his thoughts about you two considering a committed relationship? Tell him you no longer want the F w/B because you are putting your energy in to finding a serious relationship. Then, stop doing it with him. Stay strong.

Answer 3

Well I'm sorry to say but I think that you need to just move on and not waste anymore times being this guy's rebound chick because that is all hes doing he just comes to you when he can't get any from the girlfriend(s). The more you do this the more you are lowering your standards and your self esteem, dont bother with him, you need to find a guy who is going to love tou no matter what, and not just sometimes, you're worth more than just a free ride, good luck hun.

Answer 4

Seems as though you need to change the ground rules. But so far as I know there isn't any way to get a friend with benefits to stick with you that is any different than developing a solid, mutually satisfying, give and take relationship. A heart to heart talk may be in order.

Answer 5

if you've been F w/ B for 3 years already...it's not going to happen. Rarely do F w/ B develop into actual relationships. If you truly want more from him then you need to just sit down and talk about it. Guys do not get hints! Ever. Directness is the best. Good Luck. I know what your going through.

Answer 6

Honestly, you have no hope in turning this "relationship" into anything other than what it is now, a booty call. The best thing to do is to quit sleeping with him, and find someone who is worthy of a relationship with you, and wants to be with you. Good luck finding him!

Answer 7

You can't. He wanted to be "friends with benefits" for a reason. That reason is, HE DIDN'T WANT TO DATE YOU, he just wanted to have sex with you.

You should have just spared yourself the heartache and not gone through with this.

Well, let me backtrack a bit, you have a SLIM chance to change his mind, though I doubt it will work. You need to cut him off. No more "friends with benefits". Just friends. Maybe he will come around, but I highly doubt it.

Answer 8

He likes you as a friend but he also likes you physically. If you want more then you need to put your cards on the table and let him know that you are starting to feel more and you want to know if he is down with that or if he is willing to consider it.

Answer 9

You don't have a chance. This man will never respect you enough to put you on the level of girlfriend. You've ruined it for yourself. To him your good enough to boink when he can't find someone else, but not good enough to be considered his woman. Forget about it.

Answer 10

You deserve better than that, girl. Do you really want to be with someone who so happily dips his finger in so many honey pots? You deserve someone who will take a genuine interest in you. Someone who is dedicated soley to you, and who won't be ok with trying out all sorts of girls.