What do you think about older moms?

Question

I'm almost 36 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child and in my late 20's but today when I went to my Dr. office I swear I was the youngest expecting mom there?
My husband and I had our first child at 21, we still both finished college, have good jobs, own our home and have the money to care for our children.
Do you think it better to wait to have kids or have them sooner? I guess it's different for everyone and out situation is not the norm, but do you really want to be 45 and running after a 3 or 4 yr old?

Answer 1

everyone has their own journey... it doesn't matter either way

Answer 2

Does 45 seem so ancient to you?!
I had my son at 41, (I'm now 43) so I guess I will be one of those "old lady" moms running after a toddler!
I never thought I would have a child, I feel so lucky and so blessed that I did have one, YOU BET I want to run after him!! Luckily I am not so decrepit that I can still walk under my own steam, run, sit, stand, squat, camp, climb, travel the world and enjoy life in many physical ways. Sometimes I wonder if I will live to see any grand kids (I hope so) but otherwise my boy and I are going to have a GREAT time!! We walk the dogs out at a wildlife refuge every day, no matter the weather (we have the gear) we have camped, gone overseas, and we are on the floor playing everyday! I don't even groan when I get up!
Age is just a number...I feel great physically, I feel great about what I have to offer my son and I feel great about being a mom, even at my "advanced maternal age". I even delivered completely naturally, arriving at the hospital 20 minutes before he made his appearance. It was FANTASTIC! I wish I could do it again, but I don't think I'll get so lucky again.

Answer 3

Everyone to their own. Some want to travel and do things before settling down and others want a family first. I had my first son when I was 33, my second at 34 and my youngest at 37. I've recently discovered that I'm pregnant again at the age of 40. I will be 41 when this baby is due and am really looking forward to the birth. Not an intended pregnancy but special just the same. My teaching career will have to wait a few more years (I've just qualified for primary teaching) but hey, that's life. It's something I'm more than happy to do.

Oh, and for those who think that older Mums have no energy then think again. I play football with my boys, run around the park and am a bigger kid than them. Older mothers aren't necessarily 'past it'. We have a lot to offer our children which comes with age and experience.

Answer 4

I had my first child at 22 and my last at 44. I have six all up and I loved having everyone of them. Im one of those old mums your talking about. Yes it is harder in some ways when your older but Im much more patient now with my children than I was when I was in my 20's. Gone are the days when I wanted to do everything. Im happy to stay at home, and be a full time carer. It can be very stressfull when your younger with wanting a good job, nice furniture, all the mod cons, perfect kids. Being an older mum you have a better priority on whats important and whats not.

Answer 5

I imagine it is different for everyone BUT I gave birth to 3 children when I was 21, 24 & 29. I enjoyed them tremendously but I was young & so I had to work full time which limited my time to spend with them. Now I am almost 46 and we have adopted 4 children - they are 7, 7, 4 & 3 and we have 2 foster children that are 22 months & 11 months. I have a lot more patience now than I did when I was younger and I'm able to stay home with the kids so I can spend more time with them & enjoy them more. I do find myself getting more tired BUT there are pros and cons to both I guess.

Answer 6

My mom had her first at 16 and her last at 38. It does not matter what age someone is as long as they take care of their kids. Some people just want to wait until they do what all they want to do in their lives before taking on a child.
I was 21 when i had my son (he is 5 now) and now i am 27 years old and have not had anymore since cause i can't make up my mind to have another kid or not.

I would rather be 45 running after a kid than say 16 years old running after one.

Answer 7

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

I am also a young mother (early twenties), I like that I will be done raising a family by the time I reach my mid-thirties. With that said I wouldn't want to give younger people the idea that they should have children now. We had a different circumstance. My husband and I had our finances in order at a young age so we are able to care for my son without any hand-outs or financial support. We are actually doing quite well for ourselves and have just opened a second business. For many young parents this is not the case and they might end up as single parents or on welfare or both.

I think it is better to have them when you can care for them. Age is not the factor. Maturity, responsibility, being ready, and having the resources you need like your own money are the factors.

Answer 8

After having children, traveling several places in the world, finished college, pursued careers, embellished in many fruits of life I still believe and know the best thing I have/had is the love experienced only from my relationship with my children. I learn so much through the eyes of a child and I think the most important thing in this entire existence is being capable of giving/receiving love - pure unconditional, ya know? So, for me I always want to be running after a child.

Answer 9

It really depends on the mom. I have known woman who are great moms at 19. I have a friend who just had a kid at age 41 and she is going to be a fantastic mom. Someone I know was raised by a mom who had her age 48. She's a fabulous, intelligent, and talented person who owes a lot to her mother's wisdom and parenting skills.
Of course, it is probably easiest to have children early in life, at least physically. But the benefits of waiting until later can be greater experience, wisdom, and financial resources.

But again, it really depends on the individual.

Answer 10

If you two agree with having more children, it can be kind of tricky because your body may want to take a little break at least. But at the same time you know that women comes into an age where they stop and they can't have babies anymore. But is not always the same, I've know two women now : one had 8 children, and the other had 6 children.

Answer 11

I was almost 20 when my first son was born, I was39 when my daughter was born (I had 4 in between also). I know for a fact, it's so much easier when you are younger, every aspect, even being patient is easier when your younger. My friends waited until they were in their mid-30's to have kids, they waited too long, not always the case, but he had no sperm count and they said her eggs were old! So they adopted!

Additionally- I totally have energy (I'm 42) I am not old by any means, even looks, I was just saying, when I was younger it seemed easier to me, dealing with daily issues and stress and then a upset or sick toddler. It's harder now as far as the stress factor!

Reading over the newer answers this evening, someone mentioned better off financially, you bet. By the time my daughter is in high school she will have every financial advantage, car, clothes, extracurricular activities (they cost) and even a better college due to us being more financially established, as opposed to young parents who haven't had time to build equity and establish a nest-egg.
Also, I am feeling a bit offended by some comments. such as "a 40 year old may not be able to play in the mud, etc" I Mt. Bike in the summer, wear a bikini at the beach (no stretch marks after 6 kids either) and run around as if I were 20. I am a young 42, in fact I was carded about 3 weeks ago!