Please, if you are going to answer this question let it be in a sincere and respectful orderly fashion, Thank you. Anyways, I've always felt attracted towards older men and I'll come clean with you that yes I am under 18,(oh and i dont have any fatherly issues by the way), but if i was 18 and older this attraction would still remain you know. I like a men who are very emotionally mature, who knows how to treat a lady, who you can have intense intellectual conversations, who is stable and experienced for starters.it seems that young people my age do not always have reached/have those type of qualities. Is their an even depper underlying meaning for this attraction? Could it be because of my mental age? Sometimes i swear that i wasn't meant to be born in 90's era instead it seems as everything that i am i was meant to be born in between the 50's,60's, or 70's, but all well. In school, most of my friends are in their 40's or older youngest would be in their 30's. I hope this helps.
2006-12-29
07:50:02
·
30 answers
·
asked by
Anonymous
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Singles & Dating
Hey guys, thank you for your input. Really appreciated. It helped me realize a few of my perplexities. By the way yes i am a girl. Anyways I'm still open for more answers and take care.
2006-12-29
08:04:46 ·
update #1
I think you are mature maybe for your age. You see things the way a mature person does. I bet your very sensible. When I was 20 everything was a party....fun. But now I'm 42 and I see it as childish. I can't help but wonder how your going to be thinking at the age of 42. Will you be bitter because your own age group is silly to you ...will you be alone I wonder. It would be nice if you could find mature teens like yourself to hang around with. (a rare find these days...but their out there). I know of a woman that married a man that was 20 years older then her...they grew old...he died in his 70's and she was alone in her 50's.....and is still alone. (something to think about)
2006-12-29 08:05:40
·
answer #1
·
answered by steve 5
·
0⤊
0⤋
Well, I've had some experience in this area. I met my last girlfriend when she was 16 and I was 32. Although I had my doubts as to wether the relationship would work both her and her mother were very adiment that we would be good for each other.
The relationship lasted some 6 years on and off. 4 in total and then 2 where she would continually come back to me wanting to continue the relationship.
In the end she married another yet older man would you believe some 5-10 years my senior.
Personally I feel she was looking for the stability in life that sometimes younger people just can't give.
The inner social and mental age of a person can vary greatly. I find often more highly interlectual younger people tend to search out the company of older people because they just don't seem to get the fulfillment in life they are searching for from people in their own age group.
One thing you need to look at though with a relationship is the future. A large age gap in a relationship can lead to a dead end later in life.
Personally I feel a 10-15 year gap would be the most anyone should consider. 5-10 being better. And a 5 year or less difference being ideal.
But hey, life is never easy or perfect. Wherever you find love, enjoy it while and as long as you can!. Life is far too short.
.-.-.
2006-12-29 08:52:03
·
answer #2
·
answered by siliconjaguar 2
·
0⤊
0⤋
I understand what you are saying - women do tend to mature faster than most men. For this reason, it is not uncommon to see a younger woman with an older guy. As well, many men are attracted to younger women for obvious physical reasons, (gravity hasn't had a chance to do it's job yet).
As for myself, I'm a man in my early 40's and generally speaking - I'm not interested in women my age, and I'll tell you why: It's been my experience that women in there 40's or even late 30's have been married at least once, likely have some bitterness towards men, and often have a child or two or three.
Well, I'm not looking for a ready-made family, nor do I want a girlfriend who has resentments towards men, that will come to the surface every time we have a tiff. Also, as I said earlier, younger women still have bodies where everything is still "in place". So there it is, these words will likely offend any older women who read them (which proves my point, by the way) but you asked for sincerity and honesty, and that's what you got. Good luck!!
2006-12-29 08:04:39
·
answer #3
·
answered by Anonymous
·
0⤊
0⤋
I am not totally sure how to explain this.. so I'll start with a perspective from my side.
I have always been attracted to younger woman / girls. Is it basic nature.. ie. born with it? or was it the result of circumstance? Either way I find it awkward and sometimes emotionally draining. But that I mean, I love talking to and being around teenagers however at my age...most people take it the wrong way. You know... the pervert label. Then there is the whole guilt trip thing....
Okay..so how does this help with your question?
Acceptance for who and how your made is the first thing.
The legalities a "big" age gap relationship wont change... so it is up to you play it safe.... yeah that means no sexual contact with older men. Sorry to risky...
Sounds like this will resolve its self soon anyway... once your 18 it is your choice. For now.. just know that there are real men out there that appreciate, love, and admire you... and its not always about sex
2006-12-29 08:20:45
·
answer #4
·
answered by Friend 5
·
0⤊
0⤋
Nothing wrong with you. You are a mature and together young woman who seeks the maturity in an older man. Guys your age are clueless re how to treat you well as they are mostly self-centered little boys who prefer to play with their toys. Just be careful an older man isn't using you for sex or is a preditor. Men do get more interesting with age as they've lived life and know what they want. Unfortunately, some of them get really stuck in their ways and aren't open to new experiences. This is where you come in. If they are open, you can teach them and make them feel young again. You're not a freak. I think you're sane and mature and perfectly normal (< I hate that word).
2006-12-29 07:59:43
·
answer #5
·
answered by Nose 2
·
0⤊
0⤋
I know exactly what you are talking about, & yes I was gonna start with fatherly issues. I think it is a mental maturity. I am 27 now & my husband is 42. I always had older friends too & whatever young ppl I know, I feel don't feel like part of their world, especially when it comes to common sense stuff.
But I would recommend trying to make friends or at least socially get to know ppl your age just for the sake of learning something new (Yeah Right) Who am I kidding! Just wouldn't want you to miss out on anything that most young ppl are on top of anyway.
2006-12-29 07:57:03
·
answer #6
·
answered by North of Heaven 3
·
0⤊
0⤋
The way you try to describe yourself you certainly seem like an older soul. but I have a feeling by the way that you expressed yourself you are not as mature as you try to make yourself seem. or as mature as you think you are.
The reason these kinds of relationships send off signals to other people is because of the unbalance of power. It's so much easier for an older man to take advantage of a younger woman than a woman his own age. whether its emotionally, physically or what have you.
And when you say date i hope you don't mean have sex with. dating doesn't have to include sex. The age of statutory rape in most states is 17 no matter the relationship.
You answered your own question as to why you are attracted to these men, so what you are really asking in my mind is "is what i am doing okay?"
and really, just because you say that you don't have daddy issues doesn't make it so. denial is not just a river in egypt. this might not be your case but i wouldn't rule it out either.
as to the deeper underlying attraction only you can figure that out. you know yourself best. a whole bunch of strangers posting on a web site in my opinion can't tell you who you are and why you do certain things. and sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
what i am really telling you is that you have to look within yourself and ask yourself this question.
2006-12-29 08:16:21
·
answer #7
·
answered by cjadedred 1
·
0⤊
0⤋
Most women like the older men because they are SEEMINGLY more mature lol. Yes they are smarter and more mature, but sometimes that can be a bad thing. I personally think in MOST cases when men date younger (like ALOT younger) women they really aren't mature themselves. I know ppl say "age is just a number" but age plays a big part in relationships because the older you are the more experienced you are. But as for you, you're really unique and you definitely don't act your age, however I wouldn't apply that to relationships I'd maybe wait until your above 18 Lol.
2006-12-29 07:55:56
·
answer #8
·
answered by Anonymous
·
0⤊
0⤋
What does a 20 yr old know about love. Did you already have an affair with him that makes him said he love you. It may be puppy love only. When both of you are still young you don't feel the difference. What would happen once your husband find out, you two will be in trouble. Why are you not happy with your husband? Its because you aren't happy with your husband, when the guy approach you readily accepted him. On his side, since you aren't happy with your husband, this guy just take advantage out of convenience. He may be young and didn't realize the serious consequences that are yet to come. He thinks its simple. Having an affair with a married woman is serious case, one will definitely get whacked by the jealous husband.
2016-03-29 00:01:31
·
answer #9
·
answered by ? 4
·
0⤊
0⤋
well, how much older? if its only a few years not 10 then thats fine but if i were u i would go for the men in ur grade and the ones that u are atraced to prob wont like u they will want women their own age so try to get guys 1, 2, 3 or 4 yrs. older than u
2006-12-29 07:54:41
·
answer #10
·
answered by hawkinsra 1
·
0⤊
0⤋