Over controlling mother.......?

Question

ok since i was little ive basically never got to do anything and i was ALWAYS introuble for things i didnt even do and its the same way now. But after she went into the hospital for congestive heart failure she has gotten SO much worse. I cant take it anymore, I really cant. I told her that Im going to Houston for college and she absolutly forbad it and i told her that she couldnt do anything about it because by that time i'll be 18. So now that ive been keeping intouch with the school they have been leaving me messages but my mother has been erasing them from the answer machine because she wants me to go to austin for school. I've thought about suicide several times as a way out but i cant do it. Anyone have any advice? it would be really appriciated.

ok well im going to school for culinary arts and the one in houston is about $20,000 cheaper then any of the ones in texas. she wont let me go out of state because the tuition is too high and she wont be paying a thing because not only pel grants but scholarships will cover me and if i need any extra money i will have a job so that will cover me.

Answer 1

that was my mom she had to have everything done her way.as
for suicide.that would mean she won.she controled you to the point of you takeing your life.and dont you want to be what you
have already planed.i mean you know what you to do after collge
if you have a cell ask the school to call you there if you dont.the
other sugestions from others are good ones.email,reg mail,or maybe you could ask if they can call you at school.hang in there
its almost over and after you leave you will see she cant control your life.you are in control.she can tell you what to do but you dont have to thats your choice.but better to play along until you
leave home.sorry for all the misspelled words my brain left.havent found it yet. have a happy new year.

Answer 2

You don't give enough information here, just the over all impression that you are rebelling against the authority of your mother. Pretty natural for a teenager, and a hard time for everyone involved.
I wonder who is paying for your college tuition, if it's mom, she certainly does have a say in where you attend. If you have your own money, I strongly suggest you wait until you are 18 to pursue a school and a course of study. Until then, focus on your current school work, make good grades and give your mom a break. She has congestive heart failure, she isn't going to be around much longer (avg survival for those with CHF is less than three years) and if she dies before you have resolved your issues with her, you will spend your life regretting it. Suicide, self injury, both are incredibly selfish and cruel to others. Have you no thought but for your own discomfort in going thru what all of us without exception have had to go through? Everyone at one time or another rebels against parental authority, you are no different. By now you are old enough to start thinking about the needs of others and not just your own selfish worries. In other words, you need to grow up.

Answer 3

Are u sure we don't have the same mother? I am 36 today and my mother thinks and treats me like I am 3. Controlling? She passed that a long time ago..Once she realized I was making my own decisions..screw her..it was worse than ever.. She tells me what to wear, calls me to tell me when to get up, what to eat, when to clean house, etc. She makes 30 min trips to my house just because she "forgot " to bring something (I go to her house often)..she's checking on my housekeeping..if there's one dirty spoon..I am lousy housekeeper,. She does not want to let you grow up and she is trying to keep you close. Look on the bright side..she can try to control where you go to school but she can't control what you do in school..(4 the most part). Do u have a friend or someone that will take messages 4 u..from Houston.? ur mother is like mine she will NOT be happy unless u jump at her every request.. Then she still won't be... U are supposed to honor your parents but there comes a time in life that you must make your own decisions.. I am a junior in college and I mention going back to finish and my mom has a FIT..u are too old..u can't afford it..u are a failure..u know u can't make it thru college...u are 36 y try..I will have to go out of her driving distance IF I go back to school and that's why she's against it..GL

Answer 4

First of all PLEASE DO NOT THINK OF SUICIDE, that is not the answer. It is going to be tough, but you have to stick to your guns, if you have too, just move out now, and with a friend, and have the college call you there at a different number. It is wrong , what she is doing, i have known quit a few people that have had an over controlling mother, i believe my was , and still is at times.
I did go to college though where i wanted to and i do live my owe life, but she is not as controling as she use to be, she has really mellowed out with age. I know that feeling of always being in trouble, and that is not good for your self esteem at all, and you really need to say bye to your mother, and find somewhere else to live til you can get to college. If you need to you can go see a therapist and tell them what is going on, they will help find you a place. Cause what she is doing to you is abuse, no matter how you look at it. Maybe she needs to go and see someone at mental health, and take some parenting classes, cause by what you say she surely needs them. I would call and talk to them about your mother, and how she treats you, they can force her to come in and talk to them you know. It is about time she learns that she is doing damage to her daughter, and she has to let go, cause that is part of being a parent. Hope you find a place soon, good luck.........

Happy Hoildays

Answer 5

What Hope for Today's Youths? :
- The Tragedy of Youthful Deaths
- Suicide--A Scourge of young People
- When Hope and Love Vanish
- When They Return
- Motivations for Suicide
- Some Indicators of Suicide
http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/1998/9/8/article_01.htm

The sub-headings in this next article read like a 'recipe'. Read its text for the 'instructions':

How to Find Real Happiness
- Think of Your Spiritual Needs
- Keep Your Life Simple
- Happiness and Self-Worth
- Hope Is Vital to Happiness
http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/2001/3/1/article_02.htm

Hope--Where Can You Find It? :
- Does Hope Really Make a Difference?
- Why Do We Need Hope?
- You Can Fight Pessimism
- Where You CAN Find REAL Hope!
http://watchtower.org/e/20040422/article_01.htm

Regarding your mother ...
IF the description you give is unbiased & acturate, it could very well be that she has emotional issues (i.e. emotionally immature herself), something that she probably didn't cause, & didn't receive the right kind of help at the right time for it. If that might be it, I suggest that you assume that she's doing the best she can, with what she has to work with. Plus, now she's even more worried about you than before! Could it be that you have other family nearer the school of her choice that could 'be there for you when/if you need them', than near your choice? Have you ever asked her for the details of why she chooses that school, instead of assuming she just wants her own way?
You can be WAY OFF the Mark by assuming! ...

Should I Apologize? :
- Why Is It So Hard to Apologize?
- Apologizing--A Key to Making Peace
http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/2002/11/1/article_01.htm

Answer 6

Sometimes you have to go with your gut. Do you want to go to Houston for college? Is your mother paying for it or are you? Could you have Houston leave you messages at school for you instead of at home? Whatever you do....forget about suicide. You will soon be 18, graduated and you could make it on your own with a college education and a ton of hard work. I wish you luck.

Answer 7

first, if you are having thoughts of hurting yourself, go to the nearest ER and tell them so. they will help you. as for mom, it could be a lot of things, but just remember that as you said yourself, she can't control you forever! you can contact the school and request to receive future communications by e-mail or snail mail so mom can't intercede. not enough info to tell what's wrong with her, but remember, what's wrong with her is her problem! try to look on her with pity or sympathy because this could be a mental health issue, a true disease that she can't help. i know that doesn't make it right, but it makes it easier to put up with. just please, please, please don;t do anything to hurt yourself! go to the ER and talk to someone first! you could also look for counseling at the student health services at whatever college you finally decide on, or try catholic charities. no, you don't have to be catholic! good luck and i will be pulling for you!