I have four children and i love them with all of my heart but it seem like that i get mad at the oldest child because he don't like his race(black).See he like this white girl at his school and she like him and that is not a problem with me because love don't have a color.But it is coming a problem with him because she is white and he is black but he feel if he become white than they can come equal and i don't know how should put it t o him with out being rude to him about his race.please don't leave no racist comment thank you for your respect.
2006-12-29 06:52:21 · 19 answers · asked by WAZUP 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Ma'am...
If they like each other...then there shouldn't be a problem. It's becoming much more permissable in society these days to be a bi-racial couple. What does it matter? If you have feelings for each other, there shouldn't be a problem with it. I hate it when racial issues come into question on relationships.
I had a problem over 10 years ago with someone I really loved. He is black and I'm white. My father did not approve...but we still liked each other and had to date in secret, because I didn't have forward-thinking parents.
It's not whether or not you're black or white. It's whether or not you love each other. I really appreciate your forward thinking with your statement "love don't have a color". Because you're right, it doesn't.
Just encourage him to be proud of his heritage, and be supportive when he and the girl get together (if they do).
Black is just as beautiful and wonderful as white! Let him know that we're all equal...because we are.
Thank YOU for being a supportive, caring parent who wants their child to be happy.
2006-12-29 07:12:57 · answer #1 · answered by moonprincess 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dear Whatsup, I see your dillema, however, assuming you and I are roughly the same age, I am 42 with a 22 yr old daughter, we grew up in a tougher social climate with respect to race-relations and culture. I can remember my Elementary school discontinuing a long-held yearly festival with the winding of the "May Pole" etc, solely on the complaints of a few racist parents dismayed because it was at the height of integration. I was so broken-hearted because it was so much fun, and ironically at the time, my best friend, Felicia, was a black girl. However, what I have happily witnessed, even in the midst of all our other moral and political sufferings at present, there seems to be a genuine relaxation and/or passivity regarding dating and mixed races with this generation. It seems to be less and less of an issue with the passage of time. You will always and forever have your bigots, racists, and all-around stink-stirrer-uppers no matter where you are, big city or small. Further, just remember, your son is still in school, the probability of the relationship lasting until the school term is out is very slim, at best. I learned early on in my daughter's teen years to pick my battles very carefully. Some things are best left to the wisdom they use that you hopefully instilled into them in their formative years. All you can do is guide, discipline, set the example, and above all PRAY! God and His word will never steer you wrong. All my best dear. P.S.: As for my personal opinion? What in the world has the tint or pigmentation in a human being's skin got to do with their heart and humanity? We are all........."created in the image of God". You keep up the good attitude and encourage your son to live by his heart and own convictions, and not let society dictate to him how to form his moral compass. God bless.
2006-12-29 07:12:31 · answer #2 · answered by Regina D 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You said that the girl already likes him. Tell him that. She likes him for who he is already, so why change a good thing?
Let him know that becoming white would not make him more equal to her. Tell him that all men and women were created equal to each other... no one race is superior.
I agree with Panther that you should teach him about some successful black americans so he has a role model. Obama is running for president and many americans already love him. He's charismatic, a good speaker, intelligent, and the press are already comparing him to John F. Kennedy- striking poses similar to Kennedy's. Can't imagine anyone saying that about any other presidential candidate... in fact, he's so popular that people are calling his popularity "Obamamania".
You could also teach his some interesting traditions or facts about your culture. I know I always feel prouder to be of Irish descent when my mom tells me stories about Irish luck (or ill-luck). She even says sometimes, "I better not say that because we Irish have got bad luck. It will come true and I don't want that!"
2006-12-29 07:19:37 · answer #3 · answered by Elysia 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry society is still influencing some children like that. You just need to give him the best advice you can, and it sounds like you have just the right attitude. My (pasty white) friend and her Jamaican husband have the most beautiful little girl, they have no problems with people judging them either. My preschool age son is best friends with a set of black triplets, we all tease the girl in the set is his girlfriend (he'll sit and let her "do" his hair)... I think and hope we are getting closer to everyone feeling equal, in my circle it seems to be. Please keep encouraging him to know is is perfect and doesn't need to change, and it would be terrible if we were all the same race.
2006-12-29 06:59:47 · answer #4 · answered by Bored Enough To Be Here 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you that love sees no color or race. The way that i see it is if he likes a girl outside of his race that should not be a problem and he can find out for himself that all races have their ups and downs and all races have their good people and their bad people i would just let him know that you will support him in what ever decision he makes and tell him that if he ever feels like talking to feel free to contact you
I know for myself the more i was told that something was making my parents mad the more that i would do.
I would just tell him that you are happy that he is wanting to learn more about other racial cultures and support him in it. don't be an obstacle for him or he will seriously rebel against you
2006-12-29 08:29:09 · answer #5 · answered by bright eyes 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
depending on his age, i would try to sit down and talk to him about it, explain to him that no matter what "race" he is, he should love that and be proud to be who he is. Try to get him a black male role model. As a white person i can honestly say that no matter what race a man is, theres always something to love in them. People are different in all aspects of life, and he needs to learn to be comfortable in who he is, and really i dont think theres much you can do about it. He just needs to feel accepted, I know this hasnt helped a whole lot, but like i said my best opionion would be to sit down and talk with him and try to understand why he feels the way he does....Goodluck!!
2006-12-29 06:57:14 · answer #6 · answered by jess_n_flip 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YES, all three of my kids are bi-racial. and my daughter has a huge problem with being african american. she doesnt let me braid her hair or put it up. she wants it straight and down like the white girls. she doesnt have any black friends and she acts like a little white girl. not that there is anything wrong with that but she makes sure not to associate with the black kids. i dont know where she gets this from but i just talk to her about it. there are other mixed kids in the school to but she just is not accepting her heritage.
2006-12-29 06:57:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your question is racist in essence.
Why can he not be happy being black? Why should he be happy being black? Why do you see being black any different then being white?
If he wants to be white, the answer is; Why?, the only difference between men is what they feel inside.
If you want him to be proud of being black the question is ; Why, the only difference between men is what they feel inside.
You have raised a racists, who hates his race because you are in fact a racist yourself. Look beyond your race, and make your decisions and oppinions based on the characters inside the person's skin, and your son will do the same.
2006-12-29 07:02:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
When my children get older, I hope they date nice, respectable,honest, intelligent, loving, kind, compassionate ladies. If they met half of those qualities, I will be happy. As far as their race, I could care less. I just want them to be with kind people and to be kind. It sounds corny but it is true.
Even if it bothers you that he might date outside his race, the more you make a big deal of it the more he will want to. Just try and be supportive in whatever he does as long as he is happy.
2006-12-29 07:08:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do you say he is trying to become white? He obviously knows what his race is. If you feel that he is ignoring his black heritage that is a decision he will have to face later in life. There is nothing wrong with surrounding yourself with people that you connect w/ more. I just don't understand how you "act" a different race if he learned how to speak chinese would he be acting Chinese or would he be furthering his education? As his mother you should support him in every way unless he is being self destructive or destructive to others.
2006-12-29 07:02:19 · answer #10 · answered by Wendy S 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋