If the boss and employee are co-workers as well as friends who know alot about eachothers lives and families do you think its inappopriate for a male boss to buy perfume for his married female employee?
2006-12-29 06:49:34 · 41 answers · asked by lilempathy 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Let me add some to this....I did not receive the perfume but I know the person that did. It is just the boss and the employee in this case. There are no other employees and the boss knows the employee wears this perfume and he also bought it for her last year. It is an expensive perfume.
2006-12-29 07:25:03 · update #1
No, I think that is fine.
2006-12-29 06:50:56 · answer #1 · answered by gottabuylots 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Unless the name of the perfume has obvious sexual or otherwise inappropriate undertones, I would say it is definitely an appropriate gift. Most women love perfume, and women will buy perfume for each other all the time, so why can't a male, even if he is a boss? There's a fine line between a nice gift and a naughty gift...just make sure the boss hasn't crossed it!
2006-12-29 07:01:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Inappropriate? I am not sure...
My former boss bought me a really nice gift set of perfume and lotions, etc. for Christmas this year...
But he CLEARLY was trying to tell me something, cos he bought everyone else inexpensive bottles of wine. He's been flirting with me for months. Oh, and I flirt right back, so it's NOT harassment. Office romance is a very delicate thing to handle.
What did he buy his OTHER employees--that's the question. If he bought the same type of thing for others, or spent a similar amount of money on them, I wouldn't think anything much of it. If he spent $100 on expensive perfume for her, and he bought everyone else $10 boxes of chocolates, he is sending her a message, and it's not that she needs to shower more often.
2006-12-29 06:58:10 · answer #3 · answered by homebuyer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it definitely depends on how long you have been boss/employee and how close you are, as in, do your families know each other, etc? Anyway, most men are really not that thoughtful so he probably told his wife that he needed a gift for you, and then she went out and bought you some perfume. I wouldn't read too much into it unless there are other signs of sexual harrassment. Just enjoy the perfume at this point and don't encourage him.
2006-12-29 06:52:24 · answer #4 · answered by Chris M 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I don't think it's inappropriate at all--provided he's not making allustions to the employee wearing it--for HIM. This would be a breach of office etiquette and would also open the door to sexual harassment claims--something NO employer would open himself up to.
From the bosses point of view, what IS safe to buy for a female employee? (There's only enough room in anyone's home for candles). In these days of litigation and claims of harassment for nearly everything, IS THERE an innocuous gift that an employer or manager can give to a valued employee that is not perceived with sexual undertone?
While this isn't a "trick" question, per se, it IS an incomplete one. If this boss is above board in every other respect; if he seems content in his marriage and his life (i.e. None of that "My wife doesn't understand me" crap) and he's never done anything verbally or physically forward or offensive toward you, accept the gift and be thankful that he thought of you. (Even if he "re-gifted" it to you).
Please ask yourself this: Would you even question the gift if your boss was female?
2006-12-29 07:02:21 · answer #5 · answered by mrvid2002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not an appropriate gift for a coworker let alone a boss/employee relationship. It's the stuff that rumors are made of. The boss would've been smarter to buy a gift that was less personal.
2006-12-29 06:57:53 · answer #6 · answered by glitterkittyy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he chooses to give an intimate gift such as perfume to a friend that happens to be his coworker, he should present the gift to the her outside of work. To present the gift AT work would suggest that he should get ALL his employees gifts and his gift may be deemed "inappropriate" by those that do not know or understand his relationship with his friend.
2006-12-29 06:55:21 · answer #7 · answered by BB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all but it would stir up trouble. It is hard figuring out what to buy females, and if the gift was given at a party where other gifts were given out, then there really is no secret innuendo there. It all boils down to the meaning of the gift and the reactions of the receivers. If the boss simply bought it because he didn't know what to get a female, then there is no harm, and if the female and her husband understand the meaning of it as being benign, then there is no harm done.
2006-12-29 06:54:05 · answer #8 · answered by Enterrador 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I guess it depends on their relationship- if it is really just a platonic friendship and the boss has never made inappropriate advances, then it's just a very nice gift. But if the boss is obviously expecting something more than a thank-you note in return, it is cause for concern.
2006-12-29 06:55:52 · answer #9 · answered by BabyBear 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say thats okay. Especially if he's done the same for others in the past years. However, if there is constant flirtation etc. Obv thats just RUDE. If it were my husband, I would prob prefer that he bought a gift card from Starbucks LOL. I honestly dont really see the BIG problem.
2006-12-29 06:52:53 · answer #10 · answered by peacfulwar 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They being good friends makes it harder to determine propriety; it is at the very least borderline. Would the female coworker feel comfortable telling her husband about the gift? Are the husband and the boss friends too?
2006-12-29 08:12:11 · answer #11 · answered by Thor 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋