I'm so confused, please, what do I do?

Question

I had a best friend (his name's Tyler) for quite a long time. I started liking him and he liked me so Tyler asked me out and I said yes. I was completely perfect, we were both very happy, but for one thing: my mom thinks I'm too young to date, so I couldn't tell her. He and I could hang out together at school and with other friends in a group, but even that we had to hide from my mom. However, we were still perfect, always thinking about each other and talking on the internet when we were apart. Last night, he IM'd me and said that this relationship isn't working. He broke up with me, saying that since my mom didn't want me with him, there was no real relationship, since we couldn't spend time together. He says he truly cares about me and still likes me, but that there's no point in being together. He said we'd just be friends, and I had to agree. Now, though, I don't know what to do. Do I forget this ever happened? My mom is hopeless, but I love Tyler... What do I do?

He said the only issue in our relationship was my mom, who is completely set on me not dating. I have been so miserable lately, I don't know what to do! If there is any way to fix this, please tell me!

I just wanted to add that I'm sick of being treated like a freaking 8 year old. You're never too young to fall in love, that's a fact. Age does not bring respect, wisdom and responsibility do. Age means nothing.

Yes, there is even more to the story...I have tried EVERYTHING with my mom, she doesn't care, it seems like. I've tried tlaking to her, leaving her notes, EVERYTHING. She doesn't understand at all, and it's like she doesn't even want to try to understand...

Answer 1

i used to have this problem too..how old are u?..my moms reason was because i was too young..but my boyfriend never broke up with me because of that because he truly loved me and wanted to be with me at no cost..so we waited to make it public, its now 4 years later and we are engaged, of coarse my mom knows now..but in the meantime i expressed my feelings to her, and she knew that there was something going on...i don't know what to tell u..but in my opinion i feel as though if he really loves u like he said he does he would wait and be patient..he would try to make the relationship work just as much as u would.

Answer 2

Well he's respecting what your mom wants 4you & at least he's not asking u 2go behind her back 2be together. It sounds like he tolerated it 4awhile so he must really care about you but u have 2 consider what is fair 2him2. I know it's not your choice 2be apart but u have 2 understand where he is coming from. Some1 who really cares about u 4who u are wont completely distance themself from u though so maybe u should just see how things are from here on out and in the meanwhile try & talk 2 your mom, have a heart 2 heart with her, explain that its not a serious relationship just some1 u really care about & even maybe ask her 2 meet him.... she cant predict how u feel all the time, she'll never know unless u actually take the initiative 2 talk 2 her. Parents are a lot more compassionate & understanding than we think, we just have 2 let them in sometimes & give them the chance 2 be not only a parent but a friend 2 us sometimes....

Answer 3

There are two ways of looking at it.

You're obviously quite young, as you're still at school. So I can tell you that you're going to feel pretty damn miserable, yes. That's quite normal. But, in the end, you'll feel better. That's what ninety percent of people are going to say, and as unfathomable as it can seem when you're missing someone you want to be with, it's true.

The other way to look at it is that regardless of whether you are too young to feel how you believe you feel, you feel that way. So you might as well learn to deal with it. Go talk to your mother, tell her how you feel, and, if you can be, be honest with her. She'll probably think you much more responsible and possibly give you a hard time because her little girl is growing up, but she'll come to understand. And whether she does or she doesn't, talking is the only way in or out of any relationship.

Talk to Tyler as much as you can about what's happened. Keep things calm and civil, and do what you feel you should do and no more and no less.

If you two are meant to be more than friends, you will be. So long as you're in his life still, you have your foot in the door, eh? And if things were as good as you thought, then they always could be again. Don't give up hope - but don't forget that if it doesn't come out how you wanted it to, it just means you learnt something for next time.

Answer 4

May b you should try and talk to your mom about it and tell her how you feel...tell her you have to learn on your own sometimes and make your own mistakes and choices.
If she still thinks it's a bad idea and you still feel uncomfortable with her knowing then maybe you should really think about it.
If he really cared about you the way he says he does or the way that you THINK he does then he shouldnt care about what your mom knows or doesnt know. He should respect what you think and what you do and as long as yall are together and happy that all that should have matterd but i guess thats not what he wants so if he isnt worried about it...i dont think you should waste your time beating yourself up about it!!!
hope everything works out okay*3

Answer 5

I think he does really care about you because he respects your parent's wishes and doesn't want to sneak around with you. I would remain friends with him because your mom will come around and eventually you will be able to date. If you really feel that strongly about him you may need to sit down with your mom and let her know how you feel. Try developing a different relationship with your mom and gain her trust. Don't stress yourself over this though. You are young and you'll probably go through this again. Good luck and God bless!

Answer 6

He's just trying to get in your pants. All of us guys do the same thing. He made the decision that the effort needed to get in your pants wasn't worth it because of your mom. I say, the Hell with him. Just don't be surprised if the next guy and the next guy after that, and the next guy do the same thing. I think what your mom is doing is great. When a guy does stick around, you know he really does care for you. Good luck to you.

Answer 7

But your Mom is right.
See, right now he's using the break up
as being your Mother's fault. So you are under
pressure to go against your Mother by seeing
him anyway. Don't do it. The pressuring to do
as he wants will never stop. So let it.
You will be old enough one day to date a nice
guy, with Mom's OK to. :-)

Answer 8

Have a heart to heart with your Mum tell her what has been goin on, how you are always with friends when together. Remember your telling her because you don`t want to be lying to her and feel so guilty. wink ! wink !
Yes she`ll be a bit mad at first and probably say he`s not worth it. But if you try to negotiate, with her, terms on how you can see him without her being worried. Don`t get angry she just doesn`t want to believe her little girl is growing up.

Answer 9

welllll id just give my mom a long SERIOUS talk and if she still says no dont talk to her and annoy her by throwing stuff being depressed until she gives in and gives the okay worked with my mom but dont work with all moms

Answer 10

dont be in such a hurry to grow up listen to your mom