Anybody know any good Irish jokes? My Grandmother is part Irish and has some really good ones.?

Question

My fav one is:

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!"

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night"

She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"

Ever the quick one on his feet, John replied, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."

She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."

Answer 1

Ha! That's a good one! Though I don't understand why it had to be Irish!

Answer 2

Poor Paddy O'Toole.

He fell into the vat of whisky and after 30 minutes he drowned.

He might have been saved when his sons jumped in but he sucessfully fought them off.

The whole community came to his services and watched as he was creamated.. It took nearly 5 days for the fire to go out.

Answer 3

how do you confuse an Irishman?put two spades against a wall and tell him to take his pick?ha ha

Answer 4

I wet my pants

Answer 5

That's GREAT!!! :) :) :)