Older guy and young girl...relationship?

Question

Okay, my kid sister is in love with a 20 year old guy and she is nothing but 15 years old!! And the guy is in love with her i dont know what to tell her....????? I just dont know what to say or do.........i dont know it to let her keep talking to him so she want hate me....or maybe it's okay there just 5 years apart....and plus what's wrong with older and younger relationships? I have had some when i was in high school...but i just want the BEST for her nothing more just the BEST!!!

Answer 1

i met my bf when i was 15 and he was 20 too. my parents made me break it off and when i was 17 he contacted me again and we've been together ever since. but if shes happy and hes not influencing her to do anything then i dont see what the problem is. just talk to her about what you expect from her while shes with this guy. no sneaking around, there needs to be birth control, etc. and if your in control or can talk to someone who is in charge of her, discuss how/if she can have more freedom seeing this guy such as longer curfew and eventual overnight stays.

if you discuss these things with her and work with her while shes in this relationship you wont have as many problems. make sure she understands that there needs to be trust between all of you.

Answer 2

5 years isn't such a big deal when the guy is 30 and the woman is 25, but 15 is still a kid sister and therein lies a big part of the concern. Still, realizing the men are typically less mature at 20 than girls are at 15, it may not be such a big stretch. The biggest challenge is, assuming my math is right, she's still got a few years of high school left while he should be past the mid-point in college. The expectations of a 'relationship' are dramatically different in those two contexts. My kid brother was a champion body builder at 16 and a big, dumb meathead - I NEVER liked any of the girls he dated (all 3-8 years older), but I came to realize it's normal for us to aggressively watch out for them and scrutinize their choices. With a sister it would have been even worse. If your sister also lives in Orlando (Sorry - read your 360 page - you're stunningly beautiful, by the way), it seems there are a lot of people in this town I wouldn't trust to let past our guardhouse much less date my little sister or brother.

All I can suggest is measure the guy by who he is rather than how old he is. Some older men are useless and some younger guys can be quite sincere in spite of their ages. If she's happy, just keep a sisterly eye on things and be there when she needs to confide in someone. That's really all you can do.

Best of luck.

P.S. I'm obviously visiting the wrong bars when I go out with my friends here in Orlando.

Answer 3

ok being that she is 15 right now that I would say is a learning experience, you will look at it differently when she is 20 and he is 25. I would say just be her sister and be there if and when their relationship does what it will. Things can always change like when he turns 21 and is able to go out to the clubs and such and she won't be old enough to join him. But if they are truely in love he will have no problem waiting for her to be of age to join him. I know I wouldn't make a big deal about it. You do want a good relationship with your sister so just be her sister. :)

Answer 4

There is nothing wrong if both are at the adult level but your sister is only 15. That is too young and immature for that kind of relationship. Not only that but most states would and do consider it a crime for someone over 18 to have an intimate relationship with a minor. Stop this before it goes any further and tell your sister you are doing this because you love her. Tell her to back off from this guy and wait until she is at least 18.

Answer 5

Well there could be a problem with the age difference right now. I mean him being in his 20's he'd probably want more in the relationship which could lead to her becoming pregnant. Maybe try introducing her to some guys closer to her age. I mean I'm sure there are a lot of nice ones out there. If she was of age I wouldn't say this since 5 years isn't a big difference but the point is she's only 15 right now. good luck ;o)

Answer 6

The age diff isn't a big deal - it her young age that's the issue. It would be different if she was 18 and he was 23. Three years doesn't seem like much but she'll do a lot of maturing in that time. It's not love, it's infatuation. I'd keep an eye on a 20 yr old man chasing after a young girl and laying on the "I love you" stuff. Where are her parents in all this?

I think if she's allowed to see him, she needs to be on birth control (let's not be naive) and she should still have to follow rules as if she were dating a boy her age, as far as curfew and supervision.

Answer 7

Well first of all 15 and 20 is ILLEGAL!!! You want the best for her but...she is still a kid..15 isn't mature enough to be with a 20 year old!!!! Do you think he will be satisfied playing barbie with her....do you want your 15 year old sister pregnant????? If you really care for her,find a way to get her away from this guy before she does something she can't take back!!!!!!!

Answer 8

A 5 year difference is okay when you sister is past the age of 21. But since she is only 15 (not even legal to drive) it is risky dating a person who is 20.

First off, the only reason a 20 year old would date a freshman in high school is to get in her pants. He doesn't love her.

Answer 9

The 20 year old guy should use his best judgment and keep himself out of jail, in the long run 3 years of waiting for her will not kill him.

She's only 15, she has a lot of growing up to do in the next few years. Tell her its in her best interest to be a kid for awhile.

Answer 10

well in my state that's called a felony statutory rape usually guys that date younger girls like your sister do so because they are easier to manipulate. She is 15 how can she know what love is she has very little life experience to base such a decision on and what happens if he gets her pregnant heaven forbid? Would you fell the same way about there being only 5years different? think about the life time of knowledge that yo gather in those five short years and what he could do to mess up her life.