Is my mom being lazy with raising my little brothers because she is older?

Question

My older brother and I are in our mid to late 20’s. My parents also have my 2 little brothers at home, they are 8 and 12.

My mother had my older brother and I when she was 19 and 22. She was always outside playing with us and was a very active mom. We were never in the house sitting on our butts all day, she never allowed this!

My mother had my little brothers when she was in her mid to late 30’s. She has NEVER played outside with them. They just sit in the house all day and play video games, they don’t ride bikes or get fresh air. They also don’t eat healthy and now are overweight too. This has been going on since they were born!

My mother worked while raising all of us, but she seems so lazy as far as playing and parenting my little brothers.

Do you think this is because she was an “older” mom when she had my little brothers? She is now in her late 40’s.

My mother is near 50 right now raising a 9 and 12 year old.

Answer 1

30 is not old at all and she has had no excuse not to parent them like she did with you and your brother. Mid 40's isn't old either. If she is taking care of herself she should be healthy and active enough to play and parent your younger brothers the right way.

It's one thing not to go outside and play with your kids, but letting them eat unhealthy all the time to the point of them becoming overweight is pretty much ridiculous.

I think you should talk to your mom about this. Just because she's older doesn't give her the right to be lazy now. My grandmother was 70 and still went outside and played with us when my siblings and I were younger. If my grandmother could do it at 70, your mother can do it at 40.

Answer 2

Part of it is probably that she does not have the energy to do those things any more. Also another part is the kids have so much more things they can do that does not include outside play or exercise. The Internet, video games, more T.V. for kids, Ipods, instant messaging, texting. All these things make the kids less active and act as virtual babysitters for the parents. The kids don't know they are missing out on any fun being outside and playing because they are still be stimulated by these other things. You might want to approach you mom not from the "you are lazy direction" but from a being concerned about the health of you little brothers. If they are already overweight and live an inactive lifestyle now, they most likely will only get worse as they get older. Explain to her how regular exercise is essential in being healthy and if the kids don't learn the right habits now you may end up very sick later.

Answer 3

How can you call your mother lazy? Do you live her life? Are you there all the time to know what is really going on? Are you aware of her possible health issues? Has it occurred to you that the world is very different now that it was just 10 years ago? It sounds like you are being very judgmental. People change, the things that we did when we were 20 somethings is far different than what we do as 40 somethings...basically your mom has two families, one in her youth and one as she got older. Your ideas change, your body changes, life changes as you get into your 40's and beyond. Why don't you go to your parents home and be a great big sister and take the boys on a hike? Or biking? Take them camping...be more involved instead of sitting at your computer passing judgment! Good luck...I'm sure you'll find that they will all appreciate all your efforts!

Answer 4

Yes, and there is the possibility that her health is not as good as well. She is probably perimenopausal and may need a checkup to make sure her thyroid isn't out of whack. Also, these days kids can't just go out and run wild. Too many perverts. i agree they should be doing something. Maybe you could help and get them into something active so she can have time to herself. And yes, people do slow down and get lazy as you say, the fact that she had them later on is different than when you are in your 20's. The best thing is to make sure she is ok and you try to help get the boys out of the house and be a big sister to them, that would maybe jump start her too. Good luck.

Answer 5

I am bothered by what you have said, from what I read your mother was a big part of your raising. She gave you and your other brother her all. Now she is raising your little brothers and you say she is lazy because she don't do the same things with them that she did with you. Well I must ask is it possible in her age now that she is just plain tired. Most parents who raise children know it's hard work. Well I ask is it to much for you to maybe take the time out of your day and do some of the things with your little brothers that your mom did with you. Sounds like to me your mom needs that break and needs it bad. Sounds to me like she did a great job with you and now just maybe she was hoping you can take on the job of helping with your little brothers so she don't have to work so hard. I would refrain from labeling her lazy unless you want to look in the mirror and ask yourself what have you done to help mom with my little brothers, and if you have to answer nothing then maybe the label lazy applies to you.

Answer 6

I would think it is because she is older. I have an aunt that was in her late 40s before she had her first child. This girl is about 6 or so and very overweight. When she cries they just buy her whatever she wants so they dont have to spend outside time with her. Why have a kid then.

Answer 7

the web is a luxury, foodstuff is a need. Why would your dad be paying help for you at 19? i'm sorry, yet i imagine you want to make stronger up. that's large that you're a devoted mom, regardless of the indisputable fact that it really is time to hit upon a fashion to get out of mom's domicile and stand on your own. How do you intend to make a residing? Is your bf your son's dad? what's he contributing? might want to this be what's really frightening your mom?

Answer 8

Maybe not. These days kids prefer to be indoors with playstations and such games. Also, your mom is more experienced in parenting and knows that every child is different therefore different approaches are called for. Maybe she has been a bit lax in bringing up your litlle brothers but then again have you talked to her about this?

Answer 9

I think your mother has "mellowed" alittle bit. I too had my children 10 yrs apart...and I am no spring chicken! I think some of the blame has to be given to video games...they weren't as "available" as they are now. As for the obesity problem, will talk to your mom about your concerns...maybe she doesn't realize how much "junk" food they are really eating....my little fellow is pretty sneaky about that stuff! He will go to the store and get a ton of candy and hide it in his room.

Answer 10

yeah normally when parents have kids and then wait to get older and have more---they tend to be lazy with the little ones. It may be cuz of the age but also they depend on u to care for them. My mom had my little brother when she was way too old she never played with him---and it was up to us older kids to watch him all the time------that sucked.