My fiance is letting me decide where, when & how our wedding is. He tells me that what I decide is fine with him. He tells me he's ready and wants to get married, but doesn't seem too excited about it. Is this normal for guys?
2006-12-29 05:46:55 · 19 answers · asked by sundragonjess 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Yea... Guys dont usually want to participate in the wedding plans... Just tell him what to wear and when to show up, and they are good to go.
2006-12-29 05:49:04 · answer #1 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it really all depends.
Many guys do in fact act the way your fiance is, but those who are trully ready and inlove act more enthusiastic. Why don't you give him a test, ask him if he wouldn't mind having the wedding later than sooner, (later than you guys may have anticipated). Like say, "you know hun I was thinking most people get married within a year of becoming engaged, but I was thinking we do it later because planning a wedding is really overwhelming and I want to take my time and do it right, especially since it seems like I will be doing it alone. What do you think, is that ok with you?" If he's like "NO why, I want to do it as soon as possible" -- then you know he really want so to get married. If he looks relieved and says "Oh that's a great idea, I was thinking the same!" then you know he is not sure about getting married. He might also say something like "Sure honey, whatever you want, you're right, it does take a lot of work and I don't want you to be stressed out and i want it to be perfect too" - then he's ready to get married but just agrees with you about taking your time and planning a perfect wedding.
You can always ask a girlfriend of one of his close friends if he has mentioned anything?
Does he have a busy career and trully doesn't have the time, because many men are in fact too busy to handle the details of planning a wedding.
You can also say, "Listen, I'm not expecting you to be writing out the envelopes for the invitations but there is quite a bit that the groom has to do like, pick out the place, pick out the cake, give a list of who to invite, pick who and where guests on his side will sit, go for the food tasting at the banquet hall, so if you are not prepared to be part of any of that then I'll just wait til you are ready to help." don't sound mad or hurt, just say it like it's a logical thing to do. And then just wait, if months pass by and he hasn't mentioned anything then he is probably not ready.
2006-12-29 14:17:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course it is normal. The vast majority of men do not actively participate in any of the planning for a wedding. It works out to about the same as any situation where a man is asked to decide on things traditionally considered feminine tasks, like shopping for groceries, deciding the color for the kitchen drapes, which of your shoes go with the pink outfit, etc...
Do not take his attitude toward the whole thing as an indication of non-interest, it is just that we manifest our interest in totally different ways. It really doesn't matter what you chose for the wedding, it will be OK with him. Whether totally girlie or somewhere down the middle of the road,it will be just fine with your future husband, so don't pressure yourself with unwarranted stress and use all your energy for making your wedding memorable!
2006-12-29 13:56:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My fiance does the same. He's very happy to see that the rest of us are excited as can be (his mother, my mother and myself, etc.), but he doesn't get as excited as I get. He was excited about buying the ring, the fact that we're moving in together and he's eager to make the honeymoon plans. When it comes to the actual wedding plans, he just sits back and lets me and my mother take control. He's such a good fiance!!!
I find that men tend to just want to show up and get married...well many men. This is normal, so you definitely shouldn't worry.
Congrats!!
2006-12-29 16:04:00 · answer #4 · answered by Rena T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES it is it is very normal. My husband was the same way and basically after we got married this was his explanation...to him the most important thing is that we will be married. It didnt matter who was there or where it took place, he said that he understood that those kinds of things are more important to us as women than it was for guys...Not that he didnt care.
Well after a while I kinda noticed why he didnt care...it takes too much time to get things the way we want...and the last thing he needed was the stress behing all the dicision making!
Go figure!
Well yes its normal that he does this, and then also they are afraid if they say something its not going to coordinate with what you already had....that you might not like his ideas...blah blah..blah!!
Dont be worried about that and carry on with your planning. Good luck and take deep breaths as needed!
2006-12-29 13:52:44 · answer #5 · answered by shygrl52 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a gay male..but I would be worried.It is for both of you to decide what and how the wedding plans procede,the food,the guests,the setting,etc.perhaps you both should consult with a wedding planner and see if you can come with some ideas that your fiancee has but is afraid to put forward because he is too egar to please you and your family.Who is paying for all this? If his family is then perhaps consult with them about what sort of wedding their son might like.
Communication is a very important segment of any relationship.If it is breaking down,as it sounds like it is happening here,with a reluctant partnership at the wedding planning,that doesn't forbode well for your future as husband and wife.I would rethink all this if your fiancee still refuses to add his input into the wedding plans.
2006-12-29 13:56:39 · answer #6 · answered by crs-worldtraveler@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Most definitely guys are typically not into details. There are the occasional few that are into their wedding details. But he problably is thinking as long as he gets you oever the threshold... he is happy, so chill out and don't worry, you are getting stressed out for nothing. If you want him to help with wedding details, show him all the lingerie you'll bee getting at your bridal shower :) Good luck
2006-12-29 13:50:36 · answer #7 · answered by fiveftelevenqt 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
thats how my husband was. he just wanted to get married and didnt really care about all the plans. he was eager to start his life with me. he was very excited on the day of the wedding, but not until then. we are celebrating our 2nd anniversary on March 12, 2007 and neither of us could be happier. you know your guy better then anyone. if he didnt want to marry you he wouldnt be now would he?
2006-12-29 13:51:13 · answer #8 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
very normal. they don't look at it that way. they don't see their lack of interest in the hall as being interpretable as "they don't care". ladies interpret it that way because it makes sense to us. i mean, if you have no excitement or interest in the thing how does that show you are wanting to marry me. right, i get it, i'm a woman. my husband was like this too. he would have been happy with a nice dinner, some of his friends and liquor. he didn't care about decorations, 200 guests or where they were going to sit, flowers, colors etc. etc. etc. but that doesn't mean he doesn't want to marry you.
2006-12-29 13:57:21 · answer #9 · answered by practicalwizard 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Guys dont really care about those things, they just assume go to a justice of the peace. Only women care about a fancy wedding guys just go along to make you happy.
2006-12-29 13:51:04 · answer #10 · answered by janine b 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋