I am really confused coz there is nothing wrong with the guy my parents picked and he is very nice but the ols frd I met is also very nice.....can someone pls help me decide
2006-12-29 05:11:17 · 25 answers · asked by confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
i know this may sound cheesy but u have to follow your feeling. do not pick a guy who u will spend the REST of your life with someone u dont car ebaout and are marrying just cuz ur parents said so. the guuy you pick has to be some1 u love and care deeply about and he also has to feel the same for u.
2006-12-29 05:14:02 · answer #1 · answered by niñabonita 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, not to sound rude or racist or anything, but, I was told by one of my friends who is Korean, that they still do that in their native country of South Korea. There are also Middle Eastern countries that does that, too.
Just curious in knowing if you are of any one of those decendants.
If you really like this guy that your parents picked out for you, and there is nothing wrong with him, you should just saty with the guy. You have to weigh your options.
How nice is he? Does he share the same feelings for things that you do? Do you both like or dislike the same things? What is the ratio in that? Do you both know how many kids you want, and, if not, do you or him want any kids? Does he want you to work or stay home? Have you two sat down and talk about these things? What happened in the relationship between you and the old friend? Was he as into you as you were with him? Did he admit that he wanted to be more then your friends with you? Do your parents like him now or ever liked him? Would they not have minded if you decided to marry him instead of the guy you picked out?
See how many questions you have to ask and answer.
You have to go through all of these questions and make the decision on your own. Personally, you have to date and see and know the person yourself. The person whom your parents picked may be looking for a way of getting married because he just needs to do that.
I hope you take heed to everything that I wrote here. You need to sit down and evaluate will be better to be married or to wait until you find the right one.
Good luck.
2006-12-29 05:45:26 · answer #2 · answered by uchaboo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am amazed by your callous approach to what is a lifetime commitment. Anyway, you would have to provide much more details if you want to get seriously good advice. For starters how close was this old friend of yours and how-come he became your old friend? Did you guys split at sometime, or just drifted apart? Has he now asked you to marry him? Does he know about the guy you are supposed to marry in April if so has he committed to make you happier? Don’t you feel you should be in love with the guy you marry? Are you ready to spend the rest of your life with a guy you yourself describe as ‘very nice’? Your answer to these questions and perhaps a few more will help you decide. Wish you all the best.
2006-12-29 05:42:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously this is the culture you live in and I think you should talk to someone within that community to assist you in that decision.Where I live no one would be picking out a husband for me.And I have met people of arranged marriages who seem to be very happy,but that's what they were raised to do ,so I guess you might be in for some troubled times with the family if you say no..personally I think you should love the person you are marrying and spend some time getting to know each other,others will say you will 'grow to love in time' I hope things work out for you...can the date be postponed.time to think is always a good idea..
2006-12-29 12:14:09 · answer #4 · answered by shasha 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do NOT marry someone unless you know in your heart it is right. It is better to stop things NOW than the day of the wedding or go thru a divorce sooner down the road. Put a hold on everything first. Sort out your feelings and then move on... do not rush in to anything though. Talk to your parents, but be firm. Let them know you love them but you have to make this decision with your heart and since it is going to be affecting the rest of YOUR life they need to allow you that time...
2006-12-29 05:15:13 · answer #5 · answered by Codi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you are doubting is a big sign that you need to put things on hold. Marriage is supposed to be a lifetime commitment. You are marrying this person not your parents, though its good that you respect their guidance.
I think you need more time and need to be honest about you insecurity with your family. They should support you if they have your best interest in mind.
It would be horrible if you married this guy and then had an affair with your friend
2006-12-29 05:47:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my advice is to give yourself a break, get away from the influence of both guys and our parents. get yur emotions together and figuere out whom you love. I would think that yur parents are trying their best in their eyes to advise you what they think is best for you. another good peice of advice is for you to get your life together on a track that makes you you(another way to put that is find yourself first,then things will fall into place. After that get involved with someone that hopefully you will spend a lifetime with. Another thing i have learnt about people is that the older they get the more experience they have had so if you doubt what your parents are saying go talk to someone else that is their age or older see what they have to say, about the way you feel. Ultimatly it is your decision who you marry. It is your life to live so for your sake do not marry someone you do not love just because someone else wants you to. if your not sure dont marry. When two people are truley in love there is no question, so i have a feeling that your on the younger side of life. so if i was you i would be asking myself how much of my feelings for these two guys is lust or love, and the reverse how much of their feelings are truley based on love. Another good thing to realize is that there is so many different type of guys out there that maybe you shouldnt get married untill you have played the field and discovered what kind of guy really fits you. Something i have realized in life is that if you really want something theres is nothing to stop you from getting it. So when you have it in your heart you will know what is right. SO LISTEN TO YOUR HEART NOT YOUR HEAD OR OTHER PARTS OF YOUR BODY, when it comes to love.
2006-12-29 05:46:29 · answer #7 · answered by jhdjkhblpk;mvhyf nbjhghbmnbjgb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not ready to get married yet! so you need to put the wedding on hold for now and decide what it is that YOU want. Is your old friend really worth all this? your heart is trying to tell you something, and you need to listen to your inner voice and trust yourself. your parents probably want you to marry this guy because it's probably beneficial for them. to make the right decision, you need to talk openly with your old friend and see how he reacts. if you doubt anything, just staight out ask your old friend how strongly he feels about you. communication is key for most of your assumptions. make sure your old friend doesn't have a girlfriend on the side. meanwhile tell your parents you need more time to decide. If they are good parents, they should understand and not pressure you to get married. your happiness should be important to them since YOU are the one who's going to be married to this guy, not them.
2006-12-29 14:43:51 · answer #8 · answered by Twinkle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only your heart can tell you that. Dont marry until you are sure. The man you love will make your heart skip a beat every time you see him and even when you do not. Your heart and mind will tell you who you want to spend your life with. Dont be in a rush, you have your whole life ahead of you, only marry when you are totally sure.
2006-12-29 09:38:40 · answer #9 · answered by rockandrollrev 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you have to ask whether or not you should marry a certain person, means that you are not sure you should marry this person.
If you don't know for sure, how would anyone on this board know better than you, what you should do? One of the vows you will take is to forsake all others. Your post tells us, and you, that you are not ready to do this.
2006-12-29 05:44:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋