My boyfriend is confusing me..any ideas?

Question

My b/f of nearly 5 months gave me a diamond solitare for xmas but did not propose, and has been hinting that my kids and I move in with him...all without uttering the phrase "I love you." What is the deal? He has me spend the night when my kids are with their dad. We see each other a lot..4 or 5 days a week. Although he is not the "mushy" type, I guess I can say he is into me, I just don't know why no "L" word yet. I'm really confused about the ring and the moving in talks.

Answer 1

I know that this may seem really difficult, but you are just going to have to ask him how he feels about you!

Answer 2

the ring thing, thats odd so what you just opened it and he just said, what do you like it? thats strange because usually if he didnt intend to propose you would think he would not get that as a gift so you wouldnt get the wrong impression, knowing that you might think that with a diamond ring, and especially why would he want to buy you another one if you did get engaged thats strange, I mean is it little or what I know it doesnt matter but it might give alittle more hint to the intentions I dont know anyways if the two of you arent communicating enough to even know what is going on and have never talked about your future intentions I wouldnt consider marriage you really need communication in a marriage to be successful so dont be in a rush right now until that changes or until you meet someone who you have that with. Sounds like your still at the stage where your just hoping your the one for him and arent like expressing yourself I dont know how to explain it but you need to be more involved expressing yourself and communication and also having an actual relationship which then you wouldnt be questioning his intentions or where your life together is going I mean you never know for sure but what you planned you would know about, also when two people are in love they say I love you to one another easily and you almost cant help it so if you two arent saying that why would you even consider moving in or marriage I mean you have kids so you'll have to consider them and how it will affect them if you dive head first into a relationship and it doesnt work they go thru it to, hay dont get me wrong though i'm really just saying take it alittle slower he could end up being the best husband I dont know all I'm saying is just make sure your best friends and lovers first before commiting to lessen the chances of disaster for you and your children, Good Luck KIMBUR

Answer 3

if he can get all that you are already giving him, without having to say 'that', than you have already given him permission to be the way he is.
men are pretty good at not saying things, and women are really good at filling in the blanks. is this no longer satisfactory for you?
then it is time to change the routine.
from what you say, there doesn't seem to be any reason for him to behave any differently- whether he says it or not, your still coming over...
you can be (revised, HAVE to be) direct with the man about what it is you are expecting from him. this is not offensive to most men, but a blessing, because somewhere along the line women swallowed the idea that we could read their minds. not true.
your direct approach will invoke a direct response. if he is unwilling to give what you want, the way that you want it, then you can either go back to filling in the blanks, or you can find someone who will.

Answer 4

ask him, straight out, in a serious discussion. say u love the necklace, but u don't know if u should accept it w/o knowing his true intentions: does he love you? does he want this relationship to go forward, moving towards marriage?

if he says he's not sure, but he really wants to see where it goes, i would say not to move in w/ him but to be positive that it is moving in a good direction. hopefully he won't get mad, cuz he needs to Respect you and ur decision. say u don't feel comfortable moving in w/ someone who is not sure of his feeligns yet, and u dont' want to do anything that would jeapordize things later on. i personally think it's not good to move in w/ someone before marriage, but of course a lot of people do it and are happy so it's just my preference (i think it makes things easier when things go wrong to Break Up, cuz ur not married yet)....

anyways, if ur confused, u have a valid reason. in a relationship, u have to make each other feel Safe and Secure...that is a man's job to make u feel secure, and it is ur job to maek him feel so. obvoiusly u do that cuz he is giving u diamond..but is he doing the same for u? a gift is one thing, but commitment is different. he needs to do what it takes, say it, treat u well, so that u KNOW for sure without a doubt he has good intentions for u. if he gets upset, or doesn't want to do that for u, u might have some problems later on u know? good luck~

Answer 5

You two must talk! No more hints! Get straight and direct answers! Write them down if you must in order to stay focused.
Ask:
What are your intentions in this relationship?
What are your feelings about me? My kids?
Do you believe in love?
Why did you give me this ring? to show you want to be serious or that you love me?
Why do you want to move in together? Do you think it's too early?
Why should we move in together?
Come up with other questions that you think of. Don't settle for half-answers.

Hope this helps! Remember, get straight and direct answers, NOT hints!

Answer 6

wow
sounds like a nice shy guy.
Tell him that you love him and that you would love to move in with him but just think that it would be inappropriate to do without the benefit of marriage as your ex husband might use that against you in court.
That would be a great hint for him.
FEW MORE QUESTIONS FOR YOU TO ASK YOURSELF......(dont answer here)
DO you love HIM?
How does he treat your kids and how do they feel about him?
Truthful answers to those questions will help you to decide what to do
i would also ask him if the ring was a promise ring(so you know what to tell your mom)

Answer 7

Sounds like he's already made the commitment. I wouldn't get hung up on the L word so much. I am sure you have told more than one guy you loved them and look where that ended up. Sounds to me like he wants you and your kids to be a full time part of his life. If it isn't going to mess your kids up, go for it.

Answer 8

Seems like he's comfortable enough to have you move in but he is still shaky on commiment. If you're planning on moving in w/ him then you should have better communication skills, you don't have answers because you don't ask or he doesn't let you know what's up.

Answer 9

i think the only way ur going to get through this one is talking to him and asking him exactly whats goig on.... and if he does love u, and all