A girl I fancy at work was texting me all over the holidays. I mean I got over 30 texts from her in the space of a few days. I dropped the hint that I did not know what I was doing for New Year's Eve. That night she offered me to spend it with her and her friends. At first it was supposed to be in another city. Then she text me to say it was in another state and we'd need to fly there. So before agreeing I figured I needed to know exactly what kind of relationship is developing here. So I asked her was she inviting me as a friend or something more because I really like her. I had an inkling she has a boyfriend but I know they are having probs and thought it might be over. She responded telling me she has a boyfriend, that she is sorry and I am lovely. I said I was sorry for getting the wrong idea, that she is a lovely girl and I feel lucky just to be friends. She replied with saying Im a brilliant guy and she is so glad she knows me.
2006-12-29 04:53:21 · 14 answers · asked by Daniel 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think she does fancy me but she is obviously not ready for a relationship. Do you think im right or that I totally picked her up wrong. I am encouraged by the fact that she did not just give me the "we are just friends speech and nothing more".
Dont worry, Im not out to wreck a relationship and I will back off now. Im so glad she knows how I feel cos the ball is in her court now.
2006-12-29 04:54:06 · update #1
I think your actions were perfect in your situation.
Like you said, you've told her how you feel so she has the info she needs to make her decisions. You did include the part about you realy liking her when you asked her about the reasoning, right? If so, you sound like you've got your feet on the ground and, though it's a bit painful/depressing at the moment, you may be surprised at how things turn out when someone who's not in a good relationship knows there's someone else out there who would love to be in that partner's shoes.
2006-12-29 07:12:37 · answer #1 · answered by stevegoryan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well at least you know where you stand in terms of friendship - for the time being..
I think you're right in saying that she has some kind of attraction towards you, but remember, these things take time.
Just talk to her like you have done for the past few days, she likes you that way so why change?
Once her and her bf do break, if thats what will happen, just be a friend and be there for her, don't in any way rush her into her another relationship regardless of whether she has feelings for you or not. She will decide that in her own time.
She thinks you're brilliant guy, so stay that way and the both of you could have something good together, but for the time being, don't look into it too much and just be a friend.
EDIT: oh and you did the right thing by telling her, not a lot of people take those kind of chances. You haven't spoilt anything between you so it wasn't like you lost anything. And she knows that if she really needs someone to care for her, shes got you to run to.
2006-12-29 13:11:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would go but take a buddy with you so that you have someone there with you should she decide to hang out with the girls, she may be inviting you so you are not alone over the new year. Just be her friend and nothing more and let her deal with the relationship she is in now and if you become good friends who knows what's in the future!
2006-12-29 12:58:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I definately would not go anywhere with her for New Years. That would be wrong, but I don't think you did anything wrong. I think you did the right thing. I would have been wondering the same thing. I agree with you that you should back off a little and be friends Who knows I would just let things play out like you said. She might become avalible, but maybe not. I would just be friends and don't limit yourself to just her though. Good luck to you man.
2006-12-29 13:00:15 · answer #4 · answered by Vthokie25 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you are simply going to give this one time squire! Nothing in the emotional world is set in stone and I think you are both lucky to understand that. You probably just need to isolate any infatuation for now and go with the flow. BUT if she has a current commitment, then appreciate that and don't spoil it. Later things may be different. Look on it therefore as a shopping trip ......
2006-12-29 13:02:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go with her and the really treat her like a friend. Show her just as much attention as you show all of her friends and see how she responds. If she wants most f your attention for the night then chances are she is digging you
2006-12-29 12:59:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you handled things very well, i mean it did save any possible confusion or akwardness that could have arisen if you didnt ask and went anyway, flying blind. I think you have the situation under control, if she wants ya she will come for ya, if not you have already made the decision to respect that. wll done i say, nicely handled with no tears or confusion.
2006-12-29 20:04:01 · answer #7 · answered by cookie 85 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no you was right in admitting your feelings too her, at least now she knows she is not leading you on and not knowing it. if she has a boyfriend leave her to it, she will come to you when she is ready. if you have not found yourself someone else by then, as you sound like a nice person.
2006-12-29 12:59:57 · answer #8 · answered by lamyarhull 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it was good that you were honest with her and if she wants to go farther she knows she can now.The ball is in her court now let her think about it for sometime.
2006-12-29 13:02:04 · answer #9 · answered by Step 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
U done the right thing, exactly how I would have. Its best to know where you stand, esp if you are flying there.
2006-12-29 13:01:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋