meaning like because of a bad relationship with your parents. you will that if we were to be parent .. you will be like them and treat how u were treated before. i'm so scared about it .. i might hate kids but when i see kids or little children my heart just melt and i feel i wanna have one that i would love and cherish .. doesnt anyone feel the same way ..
2006-12-29 04:46:03 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Your parents choices does effect how you parent whether you want it to or not. And it does effect the way you view your partner or the partner you choose.
2006-12-29 04:49:59 · answer #1 · answered by Chica Creole 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have heard girls like to see the way there boyfriends treat there mother. It will show them how there boyfriends will treat them. Parents are supposed to show thee kids how to give and recieve love. When I wonder how to treat a women I look to my dad all the years of growing up and see what he did. He treated my mom with the most respect. Kids need to see that in the home. But just because there are bad relationships inside the home doesnt mean you will be the same. Just make a concius decision not to do the things you didnt like
2006-12-29 12:50:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I could do it again, I'd have waited until I was at least in my late 20s because we understand things better and reason better when we are older. I was 19 when I had my first child and 20 when I had my second and made many mistakes similar to my parents, sometimes not even knowing why but it was all that I knew at the time. Another thing would be to take parenting classes (a counselor could hook you up with that) so you would know what you could do instead of what you were taught to do under certain circumstances.
2006-12-29 12:50:55 · answer #3 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way you are raised can definately effect your own relationships. How you were treated will influence how you will treat your mate and children because what you grew up with is what you think is normal. But! That doesn't mean you have to be exactly like your parents.
2006-12-29 12:49:46 · answer #4 · answered by Creampoof737 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel! I had a very hard childhood. Now that I have my own son I consider it a textbook of knowledge of how not to parent. Everything you got through makes you stronger and better. If you want kids have them. Even the best parents screw up their kids! That's what therapists are for!
2006-12-29 12:50:47 · answer #5 · answered by BRI 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be more careful not to fall into the patterns. If when you spontaneously do something, like when you get mad or hurt, and it is destructive, then you will probably repeat that stuff with your kids. You have to learn new behaviors that were not taught by your parents. Try parenting classes to get new perspectives on things. YOU have to change YOU.
2006-12-29 12:50:52 · answer #6 · answered by martiismyname 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes it does, cause the way they treat ya is the way ulll treat ur kids, unless ofcourse like u you realize that then u can change the pattern
2006-12-29 13:00:35 · answer #7 · answered by Nick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think to a certain extent we are the products of our raising.
But as adults, we have choices. You make the choices that are right for you. I admire people who overcome the hardship they endured as a child. It shows great strength and determination!
Makes me luv them more as the person they are. : )
Good luck..stay strong!
2006-12-29 12:57:28 · answer #8 · answered by no cutesy name : ) 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes unfortunately...we are tramatized thinking that our partners would do the same thing to us. My boyfriend also feels this way. His relationship with his mother was not good, his mother was manipulative, controling, abusing physically and mentally and well she left. Now him and his dad are all they got and when we started dating he told me that it was hard for him to trust women due to his mom and his past experiences being betrayed.
Me well my mom's marriage with my dad wasn't well and my dad doesn't communicate with me unless I call him. Which makes me feel that marriage isn't the answer to everything. =)
My mom told me that she married my dad because she loved him and security!
yeah like most women in the world! Security!
I've learned to have security with in myself and not a man. =) With a man you choose to be with him because you love him and want to be with him not because you "need" to be with him. =)
2006-12-29 12:50:51 · answer #9 · answered by lotsofluv007 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not with me. If anything it effected me in a positive way,. My father (since I was tiny) treated my mom not so well..never took her out..typical I make the money u feed me crap. I vowed to never be that way
2006-12-29 12:55:12 · answer #10 · answered by V P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋