Which the best joke who you hear?

Answer 1

i have this really funny joke. this is a long one, but very very very very funny!!! brace yourself!

new missionary recruit went to Venezuela for the first time. He was struggling with the language and didn`t understand a whole lot of what was going on. Intending to visit one of the local churches, he got lost, but eventually got back on track and found the place. Having arrived late, the church was already packed. The only pew left was the one on the front row.
So as not to make a fool of himself, he decided to pick someone out of the crowd to imitate. He chose to follow the man sitting next to him on the front pew. As they sang, the man clapped his hands, so the missionary recruit clapped too. When the man stood up to pray, the missionary recruit stood up too. When the man sat down, he sat down.
When the man held the cup and bread for the Lord`s Supper, he held the cup and bread. During the preaching, the recruit didn`t understand a thing. He just sat there and tried to look just like that man in the front pew.
Then he perceived that the preacher was giving announcements. People clapped, so he looked to see if the man was clapping. He was, and so the recruit clapped too.
Then the preacher said some words that he didn`t understand and he saw the man next to him stand up. So he stood up too.
Suddenly a hush fell over the entire congregation. A few people gasped. He looked around and saw that nobody else was standing. So he sat down. After the service ended, the preacher stood at the door shaking the hands of those who were leaving.
When the missionary recruit stretched out his hand to greet the preacher, the preacher said, in English: "I take it you don`t speak Spanish."
The missionary recruit replied: "No, I don`t. Is it that obvious?"
"Well, yes," said the preacher, "I announced that the Acosta family had a new-born baby boy and would the proud father please stand up."

Answer 2

A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walks into Wal-Mart with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. The Wal-Mart Greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart ....Nice children you've got there, are they twins?" The ugly woman stops screaming long enough to say, "Hell no they ain't, the oldest one, he's 9 and the younger one, she's seven. Why the hell would you think they're twins? ..........Do you really think they look alike?" "No", replied the greeter, " I just couldn't believe you got laid twice!"

Answer 3

this was on a racial website dont get affended any race. where do u find find the richest mexican. rolling paper in the street (lol) it makes me laugh but thats the best joke ive heard. my uncle was web searching on jokes on peoples race on everyones race.

Answer 4

In the a beach, two fishermen was dragged a net full of fish. On of fishermen note that betweens the fishes it had a ligth bulb. He caugth and rubbed it that for the fishermen`s surprise, appeared a genius. Grateful for the release, the genius sad that the fishermen could have 3 order each one. The fishermen was so astonished that did not obtain to think about that to order. Noticing this, the genius materialized 3 eggs in the hands of each fisherman, saying that it was for each fisherman break each egg and order. The genius disappeared. The fishermen had been calm, then one fisherman broken an egg and order.
-I want this beach full of golds!
The beach suddenly was full of golds.
-I want this beach full of beauty women! -order, broken the second egg.
The beach suddenly was full of beauty women.
-I want a ship on the sea! -order broken the third egg.
Appeared near of beach, a ship with captain e crew. The fisherman loaded the golds for the ship and the women going to ship.
-Go you order? -ask the fisherman for your friend.
-Soon the other fishermen be in the beach. I to keep the eggs and tomorrow early, I will order.
The fisherman going to Europe in your ship.

10 years late, the ex-fisherman come back the vilage for to review the friends. When ask for you friend fisherman, was surprise when know that he still lived in yours pour house. He go visit him. When sighted your friend, he go hug him. After crys e hugs, the ex-fisherman was commenting.
-I hope see you rich or know that you was to live in other country, but I see you in the humble life. What hell you doing with eggs?
-My friend, I cry when remember! I was walking with the eggs on the hands, thinking about the first order saying ''I was this beach full of... full of..." Then I stumble at a rope of a net and let a egg falling in a stone, breaking. "****" I cried out. Suddenly, the beach was full of *****. Despaired, I boke the second egg order who disapear all the ***** in the beach...
-And the third egg?
-Well... I had that to break to order the my **** come back!

Answer 5

in yahoo answers everyone who tell jokes its fun hearing it

Answer 6

This joke is really dirty...


The horse fell in the mud.

Answer 7

These 2 gay guys are doing it in the shower and the door bell rings the one gay guy says to the other dont *** till i get back ill get rid of them he goes to the door gets rid of the person comes back to the shower and there *** all over the wall he goes i told you to wait the guy goes i did i just farted

Answer 8

what did the hotdog say when he crossed the finish line? ( i'm a weinner i'm a weinner)

Answer 9

I have a lot. A dumb one is, why is six afraid of seven? because seven "ate" nine

Answer 10

any time george wubya opens his mouth