I've been with my b/f for a year now, and since the beginning we've had issues in the bedroom. Now a year late, it's gotten worse. At the beginning it was just him cumming fast. within 1 min. now we are down to him cumming within 5 seconds and not being able to get hard. Also even if he does get hard, it's not as hard as I know he can get. I am beyond frustrated. Not sure what to do. He has gone to the Dr. and all they said is he has anxiety problems. They said we need to have more sex, but honestly im totally turned off by him. Sex is a process with us. Instead of enjoying ourselves, im concentrating on what I can do to make sure he doesn't go soft. He even took these pills the dr gave him, and i think it made it worse because he really couldn't even get hard. I've asked if its me and he says no. Im sooooo frustrated. Any advice anyone?
2006-12-29 04:38:14 · 20 answers · asked by Noah's Mommy 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He needs to go to a Urologist. It sounds like it is a medical problem. ALWAYS get a second opinion, especially when if effects your life as much as this does!!
It is possible that it is anxiety, however, that should get better with time, not worse. IF it is anxiety, he can take medication that will help - tell him to ask the Dr. for a 10 day supply of Ativan 10mg PRN. Have him take one about an hour before sex. If it doesn't help, you know it is more than anxiety.
I understand your frustration, and I give you a lot of credit for staying with him. Most women wouldn't have given the experience a second try, let alone a year. You obviously care a lot about him. Try to see this through with him. He is probably 3x more frustrated than you and scared that he is going to lose you.
Make an appointment with a Urologist ASAP, rule out the medical possibilities first, then, if they find nothing, deal with the possibility of anxiety.
Good luck to you!!
2006-12-29 04:49:23 · answer #1 · answered by Kailey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he needs to see an erectile dysfunction specialist. This doctor would be able to perform tests on him and if needed try out other medications that may help. Going to a therapist would not be a bad idea. However most MD's that specialize in this area would refer him to a therapist.
Also, as hard as it may be do not criticize or get really angry with him because that will just make the problem bigger.
Hope this helps!!!!
2006-12-29 12:43:55 · answer #2 · answered by Tina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
since he was taking medication and it didn't really help, i'm thinking that it's all in his head. sex has turned into something that is frustrating to you both instead of enjoyable. somehow you just need to take the pressure off him. try watching adult movies together. try sexy outfits. anything is worth a try at this point. there are other things that he can do to satisfy you without actually having sex. maybe you could try that for a while. get his confidence built up and then see what happens from there.
2006-12-29 12:42:27 · answer #3 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try getting a second opinion. Maybe go to a different doctor..
Also try to do different thing with him......
Surprise him...
Bring some toys into the bedroom..
Try different things to turn him on and well if you continue to be this fustrated tell him straight out that this is not going to work for you that you're really sorry but you cant keep on doing this...
2006-12-29 13:08:50 · answer #4 · answered by shygrl52 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've only been together for a year. This is problem for him and it isn't going away any time soon. You're not married to him and you should date other guys. It's sad but you have to look out for yourself to some degree. It's not just sex - it's part of your intimacy and if you can't havenormal intimate relations then you'll need to find another partner. Simple but sad.
2006-12-29 12:42:50 · answer #5 · answered by sparetom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's climaxing so fast that his body doesn't see the need to get or maintain an erection. I'm not sure what kind of anxiety he's experiencing, but he's got several issues. You might want to ask yourself if you're in this for the long haul.
2006-12-29 12:45:11 · answer #6 · answered by bardstale 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmmm......get a different boyfriend.
Or maybe a F/B to take care of you right.
Make sure you get yours before the 5 second countdown
2006-12-29 12:42:31 · answer #7 · answered by Answer Police 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it is anxiety. He could try talking to a therapist. Are there any new very stressful things going on in his life? Men seem to get pre-occupied easier than we do.
2006-12-29 12:41:29 · answer #8 · answered by nyckib 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps a therapist can help him with his anxiety. Don't let sex be a production, that's too much pressure...it should be spontaneous and fun.
2006-12-29 12:40:22 · answer #9 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why don't you tell him to do oral sex on you first until you reach an orgasm, then and only then allow him to enter you. that way at least you get off and he won't feel so much pressure in trying to satisfy you,
just a thought hope it works.
2006-12-29 12:47:14 · answer #10 · answered by girlhunt 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋