My college tutor said that I use 'perfect grammar'. Now how come that my wife talks crud but yet think's

Question

she's always fecking right? She's downstairs now, 'waiting for the apology' which is like never gonna come as she's talking cr*p.

I bent over backwards to accomodate her but she's misunderstood the grammar of some of the things I've said and now it's all 'my fault'.

Dear myopic, I see what you mean. Like totally, but I've read a mass of books and I *never* tell her she's wrong. So that's not the case. Yea, sure she's gonna get upset if I tell her she's dumb. That's insensitive and I'd never hurt her feelings like that. she's a good girl really, and I've calmed down.

Wow, myopic; I've jus read the rest of your stuff and you do know the human condition well. Wow. Impressed..... Yea, of course, I want her to look into my eyes with adoration, in hers, so I'm doing what you say.

Now, as for the folks who found fault with the grammar used. Ok, it may have been grammatically imperfect but you understood it, and as someone who's been all around the world I knew how to get you to understand me in the limited environment that is yahoo answers. So, touché.

limiting, rather..... heck this isn't a University Doctorate.

Answer 1

Ah. Women! Difficult to talk to them sometimes.

There's books on how men and women communicate differently (not talking about Men are from Mars women are from Venus; there are proper scientific and linguistic books on it) The rest of the following article can be found at

www.leeds.ac.uk/linguistics/WP
L/WP1999/mullany.pdf

treat the address as all being one line

"Since the mid-1970s, investigating the difference between male and female speech patterns has come to be a prominent feature of sociolinguistic research. Previous language and gender researchers have found that female interactants are more linguistically polite than their male counterparts, as they favour co-operative discourse strategies. In contrast, males favour competitive strategies. This paper tests the co-operation and competition framework by analysing the amount of attention male and female interviewers and interviewees pay to the norms and conventions of linguistic politeness in Radio 4 broadcast interviews. A pattern consistent with the co-operation and competitiveness framework is found, though there are exceptions, which cast doubt on the adequacy of previous theories that claim to explain why men and women speak differently."

Answer 2

If your wife can't or won't correct her grammar, pls leave her alone! Your nagging her will only make her come to resent you. How can someone "misunderstand the grammar" of some things you've said? I hear people misuse grammar all the time but I understand what they're saying. Do you mean to say that she doesn't understand the meaning of some of the words you use? If so, that's 2 diff things. I'm old so I want you to understand that I'm giving you what I think is good advice not just re your wife but anyone: You are being condescending (a patronizingly superior attitude); this is not an endearing trait. I believe that you do owe your wife an apology for your behavior. Even if your wife's grammar is poor you knew this when you married her & should accept her as she is just as you would expect to be accepted as is. Think of it this way; while you may be superior to her re the use of grammar perhaps she is superior to you in some other area of your life. That's the way it usually is between people.

Answer 3

I have horrible grammar, but I know it.

She may not know it. If you do not know a thing, how can you identify it?

She's told her grammar is incorrect. Great. I'm sure she feels highly intelligent now that she has been told this.

Now it's her fault because she's sooooooo stupid that she misunderstood.

Do you see what I am getting at? She is just being defensive.
She is not mad because she feels she is right. She is mad because her feelings have been hurt.

She just needs to hear from you that you still love her, and you value her just as much, regardless of her grammar skills.

Is she wrong? Sounds like she is, but she IS hurting.

Would you rather be "right" and have a spouse in pain?

Or
Make up and know that you are right, and she is happy again.

Answer 4

You can use perfect grammar and still be misunderstood - it is your word choice and turn of expression that create misunderstanding. My stepson "got rid of" my 3 year old's meal. What he really did was eat it himself, and try to give the impression that he had thrown it out. Perhaps it is not your grammar, but they way you are choosing to express yourself that is causing your problems at the moment. When things are stated clearly, it is difficult to "misunderstand the grammar".

Answer 5

For someone who have the perfect grammer, you certainly have a poor choice of words and writing style. Also, having a perfect grammer doesn't mean you have a good communications skill.

Read over your own question again, and see why I am saying this....

Answer 6

I cannot have a relationship with someone who cannot use or understand the English language well. My ex would become furious when I used "big" words because he couldn't fight back with words, he didn't know what I'd said!

Answer 7

you're in need of a new college tutor. your grammar isn't perfect... even i realized that and my grammar really isn't good. so maybe your wife is right.
by the way, if i was you, i'd apologize because otherwise you might get no breakfast tomorrow...

Answer 8

I think your tutor wants to do more than tutor.

If all you guys can argue about is grammar, count yourself lucky and quit the kvetchin'!

Answer 9

sounds like a dumb little fight over something small since I don't know all the details. So do you actually have a question or did you just want to vent?

Answer 10

You really don't have perfect grammar...in fact it's pretty far from perfect.