Greedy grandmother-in-law?

Question

This was the first Christmas my husband I had as newlyweds. When we went over to my father-in-laws parents home on Christmas Eve for dinner. My husband asked me if I had bought a present for his grandparents, I said no because I was too busy with work; we had just sunk over $300 into an auto repair and these people literally have everything. I suggested telling them I was making a charitiable donation in their name, and do it when I got paid later in the week. My mother-in-law said that grandma "bootsy" wouldn't accept that, she HAS to have a gift. When grandma opened the card that my mother in law gave her, like a little kid, she grabbed for the gift card enclosed first and then complained about the amount in front of everyone! My mother-in-law told grandma that my husband and I really didn't have the money for a gift. Greed is not tolerated at all in my family. I would have gotten spanked as a young child for something like that. I do not want to associate with her because of this.

Grandma Bootsy is also a MAJOR re-gifter. She buys things at yard sales and gives them out as presents. I was raised low-income but we consider that tacky unless you KNOW that its something the person will really love.

We also only buy gifts for the people closest to us. I bought only for my in-laws, parents and a close friend.

My husband is a full-time student so I'm the only breadwinner. Its not like we have huge amounts of discretionary income anyway.

I just wanted to know if anyone would associate with her.

Answer 1

your question is...............?
Sounds like granny is judgeing you. Sounds like you are judgeing granny.
Agree to disagree and get over it. Your husband can't change his family traditions any more than you can.
If grandma has to have a gift, and she is a re-gifter then give her what you can afford toward a gift card.

Answer 2

Unfortunately you'll have to have contact and associate with her because she is your husband's grandmother. The strange thing is you haven't said how your husband feels about this. This should be his to deal with not yours. Set your rules about Christmas gifts together and stick to it. You could even make a point of telling everyone that you won't be giving Christmas gifts until you have two incomes in the family. If you decide to give gifts give them to who you chose and for the amount you want. Ignore the rude out bursts and enjoy your Christmas. It takes all types to make a family and not every family member is wonderful. Good luck.

Answer 3

This sounds like Grandma has a disease process like Alzheimer's or a personality disorder. If she doesn't, then she is just plain rude. This does not seem to be a question of greed as much as a question of manners. If she truly loved her family, she would not care about the gifts, she would care about having her family around her.
I was raise in a family like yours, we did not tolerate rude behavior. When we received a gift, we would smile and say thank-you ( even if it was a horrible gift). A gift is a gift and the sender would be thanked. Also, if you could not afford a gift, we would make something for the person- from cookies to hand sewn garments.
Try to forgive this horrible Grandma, and don't blame your husband for her rude behavior.

Answer 4

Every family is different, and when you married your husband, you married his family, as well.

I think your husband should have stepped up to the plate and bought the gifts for his parents and Grandmother, even if you had to pull the money from household income that you earned by yourself.

You can avoid this next year if the two of you agree to a holiday gift budget, split it in half (regardless of where the money came from) and each of you can shop for your own family out of the allotted budget. This way, your husband can answer to his family's quirks and traditions, and you can do the same with yours.

To avoid looking completely detatched, you could write the thank you notes to his family, and he could write to yours.

My brother and his wife have solved their gift-giving woes this way, and it had worked well for them.

Answer 5

How rude some people are it is sad that people have really forgotten what christmas is really all about its not about who can give the best gifts i also think the gift giving thing should be band and we should be donating our money into cures and things like that not buying i pods etc just think what god thinks when we do the expensive gift giving and how it makes him feel when people like granny are so self absorbed that she thinks christmas is all about her maybe someone should remind her of this

Answer 6

Perhaps Bootsy is a little greedy. However, whenever anyone invites you over to their home for a dinner party, it is proper etiquette to bring a gift for the host and hostess. The fact that you are complaining about bringing a gift for Bootsy when she invited you into her home just proves how classless you are.

Answer 7

I do not blame you. You are totally right. In my family sometimes some of us cannot get for others. I did not get my dad anything for Christmas and he could care less. Christmas is about being together not getting gifts. I know that I will end up seeing something I want to get him and I will get it just because I want to. It really angers me that there are people like that out there. Girl just try not to let it get to you, we cannot all be blessed with great in laws. I got my grandmother in law a coffee gift set from Walmart and she thanked me a tun of times and it really wasn't much. Like I said it is about being together not presents!!!!!

Answer 8

at the beginning, baby help isn't presented so as that babies would desire to purchase their prominent CD's and textile products. It to pay for the residing costs, nutrition, shelter, clothing of that youngster. That pronounced, this mom needs to be stopped. i do no longer understand your relation to the father of the youngster who's paying the help, yet he needs to get in touch with an criminal expert approximately what's occurring. If grandma is elevating this baby, then grandma would desire to be receiving baby help. Dad needs to discover a criminal expert and combat returned for his son.

Answer 9

She is your husband's mother. Yes, you should be polite. Learn from this and try to find positive things about her to concentrate on. As tacky as it seems, it isn't worth causing a family rift over.

Answer 10

If you're asking if she's greedy, then I'd have to answer YES. I guess the only advice I could offer would be to stick to your principles, and not give in to overspending just to satisfy her. Hugs, and good luck.