I've been seeing her for two months, and I'm careful to make sure she doesn't catch my herpes, but if I told her I had an STD, she'd probably dump me. I know what I'm doing, I won't give her herpes, but I don't think I should tell her. She'd just get mad and dump me.
2006-12-29 03:58:27 · 64 answers · asked by Anonymous 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Someone brought it up, but I'm not using condoms. I've had herpes long enough to know when I'm about to "break out", and my last couple girlfriends are ok.
2006-12-29 04:01:55 · update #1
lol eckidd77 is an internet tough guy. NO, I"LL BEET UR A$$
2006-12-29 04:05:08 · update #2
lol suckers
2006-12-29 04:06:47 · update #3
That is a tough one, because of course you do not want to lose your girlfriend, but honesty is always the best. That way she too, can take the necessary precautions to make sure she is not infected too. If you do love her then you would not like her to get infected too, ultimately even effecting her if she ever wants to have children, so yes please tell her!
2006-12-29 04:03:11 · answer #1 · answered by Momof3boys 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You can always pass herpes, even if you are not having an outbreak! The virus lives in and sloughs off of the skin. Condoms are not even a guarantee... because it is passed from skin to skin contact and it affects the skin on and AROUND the genital region it can be passed even if you are using condoms. The area is called "the boxer short region" and basically any skin in that area can pass it to your partner.
I know that the fear of rejection because you have herpes is huge, but you owe it to your partners to tell them BEFORE you have sex. Yes you should tell your partner! She should be tested to make sure that she has not contracted herpes from you.
You would be surprised what being honest about your sexual health will do for you... a lot of people have herpes, it is a very common STD.
Your partner may get mad and dump you but if you care about her you will tell her and hopefully you will learn from the experience and act responsibly from now on. I realize that someone gave them to you somewhere along the line and that sucks but how did you feel when you found out?
You should research and learn about herpes so that you are educated about it and can answer questions. It is embarrassing but this is something that you have to be honest about. Also, it sounds like you have been practicing unprotected sex now and in the past. I would have an HIV test and perhaps more. You have and pass STD's without knowing that you have them.
Part of a healthy sex life is acting responsibly and taking care of yourself.
You may want to check out these sites, the first is an article on how to tell your partner that you have herpes.
http://www.webmd.com/content/article/52/49859.htm
2006-12-29 04:27:21 · answer #2 · answered by flappymcp 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you love and care for her you should tell her you have a std , remember there is no cure for herpes,and you would be putting her at risk , tell her and explain that u are afraid of loosing her that's the reason for not telling her earlier, i think she will understand if u refuse to tell her and she finds out otherwise that is when she is going to get mad and dump u , what if u were suppose to have sex with her and she dont want you to use a condum would u back out for her safety or ride bare back and get her infected, just be a man and deal with the situation before it's too late.
2006-12-29 04:10:37 · answer #3 · answered by leecy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have met some people who live happy normal lives with an uninfected spouse. I think you should tell her and let her decide if she is willing to take the risk. I believe that you have a fear of being alone and you should go to support group that deal with this problem.
If the shoe were on the other foot, How would you feel?
Good Luck to you
No condoms I feel sorry for you because your not as smart as you think you are about your problem. You should get more information and research it more.
2006-12-29 04:06:31 · answer #4 · answered by kellyfl59 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YES you should tell her. How would you feel if the tables were turned? If you learned your sexual partner had an STD but didn't tell you...had been potentially exposing you to it but kept it secret because you might choose not to take that risk yourself.
You've no right to subject her to your STD without her knowledge and consent. If she dumps you that's the way it goes...I can tell you that I would not have sex with anyone I knew to have an STD, no matter how fond of them I was. Especially one that has no cure...
You are being selfish...if you wouldn't want someone risking your health, don't do it to someone else...it's not your place to decide what someone else is willing to risk...(did you know the person you caught it from had it? Would you have had sex with them (or did you) if you had known?)
2006-12-29 04:04:15 · answer #5 · answered by . 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
To be honest with you, you should tell her it's not fair that you don't. If you don't tell her then deceit is the same as just straight out lying to her. The keys to any relationship are trust, honesty, and communication. Maybe if you told her this from the beginning it would have been better now she may feel she has been deceived for two months. The longer you wait the worse off you are.
2006-12-29 04:03:28 · answer #6 · answered by mdsmith9372 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
No, you DON'T know what you're doing, or you would be honest with her. You are taking a chance. There are NO guarentees that you won't give this to her, and if you really cared for her, you would tell her. If you caught it BEFORE being with her, then she won't get angry. THIS is just one reason why you should NOT have sex outside of marriage. Playing around like this in this day and age is DANGEROUS. But, you just keep on playing, don't you? WEll, if you can't control yourself, at least be an honest FOOL.
2006-12-29 04:02:42 · answer #7 · answered by lcamel2000 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
this is a tough one. I have a close friend that has H and she does not tell any of the guys that she gets with, but she also knows her body very well and knows when and when not to kick it with anyone. They say you can still give it to your parnter even though you have no symptons. Are you having protective sex? If so, then don't worry about it but if you are not I would be very careful and it's really your call if you want to tell her or not. BTW...H is a very commen STD and more people then you think are actual carriers.
2006-12-29 04:03:28 · answer #8 · answered by tonaloha 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Do you wish the person who gave you herpes would've told you before you contracted it?
You know what you're doing and you won't give it to her? Yeah, right. As long as you are having sex with her there is a risk you could pass it on.
TELL HER BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE
Edit:
You're not using condoms? You're an idiot! You can pass on herpes even if you're not having a breakout.
2006-12-29 04:01:02 · answer #9 · answered by WonderWoman 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Yes you owe it to her to tell her. Isn't it possible to spread that even if you aren't having an outbreak? Thats really wrong of you. She'll hate you even more if she gets it and you never told her you had it. And, how do you know your exes are fine? They may not have told you they have it. Get yourself together and do the right thing. Especially if you guys aren't using condoms
2006-12-29 04:04:39 · answer #10 · answered by B U Tiful 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋