What should i expect the first time i have sex?

Answer 1

YOU CAN EXPECT THAT I WISH IT WAS ME!
But in a more serios note read the following:

you are a young person and you would like to tell us your views about sex, or about a relationship you have had, then please do email us with what you would like to say.

What is virginity?
Surely a virgin is someone who has never had sex, right? Losing your virginity is traditionally seen as having sexual intercourse for the first time. There's a bit more to think about these days, though - by that definition, a gay man or a lesbian could have sex with lots of partners, and still be a virgin!.

Does oral / fingering/ anal / hand jobs count as losing your virginity?
This is a difficult question - some people say yes, others say no. The dictionary says that a virgin is someone who has never had sexual intercourse and many religions are quite strict about the definition. It's something you'll have to decide for yourself - just remember that, whether these things 'count' or not, all of them can transmit STDs.

She's / he's not a virgin but I am
Don't let that make you feel inferior - being a good lover is about sensitivity, not experience. And the advantage is that you don't have the pressure of being their first. He or she's more experienced - that's a good thing, your partner knows what to expect.

Won't I look inexperienced if I admit it's my first time?
No - be honest with your partner; let them know you haven't been with anyone else. There's nothing embarrassing about saying "I'm a virgin!" If you're close enough to someone to be thinking about having sex, you should be close enough to be able to talk honestly to them. If they know it's your first time, your partner will know to be go easy with you.

How do I know if I'm ready?
If you aren't sure whether you're ready, then you're probably not. Don't feel pressured by your friends . . . just because other teens say they've had sex, doesn't mean you have to. And anyway - are you sure they're telling the truth? Never do anything that both you and your partner aren't totally comfortable with.

What's important is that you feel good about yourself and what you are doing, and that you keep yourself safe. Being safe means not only thinking about physical risks such as pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases but also the emotional risks.

Are you comfortable in your relationship with your partner? Having sex for the first time is something you can only do once, and if you do it at a party with someone you've never met before, you might end up regretting it. Unfortunately, quite a few people never have sex again with the person they lose their virginity to. Make sure you're with the right person and it's someone you trust.

Something else you'll have done if you're ready to have sex for the first time is making sure you have some condoms and that you know how to use them.

It helps if you can plan it in advance - talk to your partner, make sure you're both ready and that you've got condoms sorted out, and any other contraception you might use. Wait until you've got some time to yourselves - having someone walk in when you're halfway through ruins the mood!

"We've sort of decided to wait a bit longer before we do it. I mean, we have kissed and felt each other and all that sort of thing, you know, maybe just going a little bit further each time"

Take precautions
if you're mature enough to be thinking about having sex, you should be mature enough to be able to discuss condoms. Just because someone's a virgin, it doesn't mean they definitely don't have a sexually transmitted infection such as HIV, although it does reduce the chances.

"I know we were both really nervous, but talking and laughing really helped. Plus we were able to make sure nothing drastic happened. Although we loved each other loads we certainly didn't want a baby at seventeen or to put our health at risk. So we went together to the clinic, sorted things out so that there wouldn't be any worries."

Can you get pregnant your first time?
Yes! You can get pregnant whenever you have sex, and it doesn't make any difference if you do it in a bath or standing up, either. If you don't feel ready to be a parent, use contraception.

"I am 15 my b.f is 16 and we have been going out a couple of months. Well one day it was just me and him all alone in his bedroom. . . . Well the next thing I know we are having sex. It was unprotected. I didn't think that anything could happen to me. But boy was I wrong. Here it is 2 months after we had unprotected sex and now we are going to have a baby."

Will it hurt?
Many girls worry that it will hurt when they have sex for the first time. It can hurt, but often not a lot, and some girls do bleed a little bit. The bleeding usually occurs because the girl has a hymen which breaks the first time she has sexual intercourse.

"I didn't 'Get Off' and it hurt really bad doing it. Honestly, I never thought it would feel that painful."

". . .But my first time felt so good. SHOCKING!"

The hymen is a small piece of thin skin which goes across the opening of the vagina and protects it when she is young. It has some gaps in it where the blood can come out when she has her period. Sometimes a girl might already having broken her hymen without knowing about it - this can happen as a result of playing sports or horse riding.

Sex the first time shouldn't hurt for a boy, but he can make it easier for his partner by being gentle and taking it slowly - try to make it special for you both.

"What was it like? - Well it's difficult to describe because I'd never felt anything like it before really. I'd had orgasms through masturbation before, but sharing yourself with someone you love and respect was really good. It brought us closer together."

Will we '***'?
First-time sex doesn't always hurt, but it isn't guaranteed to be great, either. Some couples say that on their first time they both enjoyed it, other couples say that neither of them had an orgasm. It's an individual thing, just try not to expect too much from your first time - like anything else, it takes a while to learn about your body and about your partner's. Just make sure that you're ready and you've got contraception sorted out. Talk to your partner, try to make it special and enjoyable for you both.

We have stories about young people's first time experiences in our stories section.

Answer 2

Expect to be uncomfortable. Assumng you're female with an intact hymen there will be some pain on penetration. If its his (?) first time too, the expect it to be pretty awkward - figuring out how to move so that the parts fit. What would YOU say if I asked you what I should expect the first time I rode a bike? Strongly recommend you do it only with someone you really care about and who cares about you AND that a fair amount of heavy petting has occured between the two of you on previous occassions and leading up to "the act". Make sure he has a condom on and you should start birth control. Alcohol or drugs can make everything worse. I personally think this is one of those times you don't want to be "on something". It will be 20 - 30 seconds you'll remember for a lifetime, maybe. So much for romance, huh?
Added note: as far as lubricants, my (male) attitude is that if your body isn't already lubed up then its telling you it ain't ready. But everybody is different and if it will make things easier its your choice. Do ask him to go slow and easy.

Answer 3

OMG! Don't listen to that guy! You should use a lot of lubricant and take things slow. It will hurt a little bit and it may take a while before you figure out what works for you and what doesn't. You may see a bit of bleeding and this should not alarm you, it is normal and is caused by the ripping of the hymen. Do not be afraid to tell your partner what you like and dislike.
Most of all, you should expect your partner to use protection every time! You should expect to be treated with respect and never feel pressured! You should also get on birth control and have an HPV vaccination before you become sexually active.

Answer 4

Okay i going to be real with you. My first time i had sex was the summer that just past. I was scared...Yes! Just close your eyes well you are having sex and then before you know it, it's over. You should expect that the boi might *** inside of you. Just thing of it as a pony ride...Just remember those days when you were small you ride on a pony and its walks around well...this pony goes up and down think of it as a pony i did...

Answer 5

First off expect to be protected!

Answer 6

Depends on how comfortable your partner makes you feel.
if your stress and tense up too much, it wil be painful... and if you relaxed and get well lubricated... u will still feel discomfort but not as bad, u will also get a sense of fullness and pressure.

Answer 7

absolutely nothing!!! I'm serious ..... you only start enjoying it after a few weeks - but the first time really isn't all that - Ur going to be disappointed - BIG TIME!!! lol

Answer 8

A big hairy spider and pain

Answer 9

sorry to say disappointment --- is that all??? it hurt a bit

BUT the good thing is as with anything good the more you practice the better it gets especially if you have a partner that wants to please you

Answer 10

expect it to hurt. but then it will get better and you will moan in pleasure, not pain.