She has significnt short term memory loss. However, she refuses to be honest with her doctor and she exagerrates her nobility in all areas of life. She makes people dislike her family because she brags about us shamelessly. We're ok, but just plain human. Any suggestions for coping...I want her remaining years to be good for her, but I don't want to sacrifice mine (I'm in remission from cancer). Also, distance is an issue because she lives in my backyard.
2006-12-29 03:40:49 · 8 answers · asked by teetzijo 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I just lost my mother last march and believe me she was the most difficult person to live with the last few years, having a childlike personality. She had temper tantrums, complained that nobody loved her or cared about her, and she tried to play head games with everyone. But boy, do I miss her now and actually we had learned to tolerate all her to a certain degree. If she over stepped the line, we would just leave the room or the house for awhile, leaving her alone with nobody to pick on or to complain about. I sympathize with you, but just remember, older folks feel like thier lives are behind them and there are fears, regrets and sometimes hostilities that are natural for them to feel. They can't help bieng old. And someday you very well might be in her shoes.
2006-12-29 04:27:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is going to be a tough time. I use to care for dementia patients and they all hide it until it get so bad that they can't. Would your mother consent to you going to her doctor with her? I use to write a letter with issues that needed addressed and have the check in staff make sure that the doctor received and read it before the visit (I also made it clear that the patient was not to know about the letter). If the doctor knows that this is a concern then tests can be performed to asses your mothers mental status.
Unfortunately, there isn't much that can be done about dementia (there are some treatments that may slow it, but they don't work for everyone). This is going to be a hard time for you and your family but your mother needs you now. You may eventually want to consider home care or a nursing home/assisted living. Don't be afraid to ask for help.
2006-12-29 03:48:49 · answer #2 · answered by flappymcp 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she has significant short term memory loss there is a possibility of her having Alzheimer's. It affects different people in different ways. You probably need to talk to her Dr. about the possibility of Alzheimer's or other medical conditions that may cause her to behave this way (unless she has done this all her life), Does she get confused when in a strange situation (driving to a new place or which direction to go)?? If nothing changes you will just have to try to talk to her about it or trust that others will know what she is like and will ignore it. To her you are special.
2006-12-29 03:49:08 · answer #3 · answered by sweetpicker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would insist upon a doctor's appointment you attend with her and at that time spell it out for the doctor.
If she isn't suffering from a disease, then you really don't have a lot of recourse but to grin and bear it. If she is suffering from dementia or Alzheimer's then you will probably have quite a time dealing with the short and long-term effects of this disease, but you will ultimately need power of attorney. Your doctor should be able to make some referrals and your local Alzheimer's Association is an excellent resource for family members.
Good luck.
2006-12-29 03:53:17 · answer #4 · answered by Karen L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to write a note to her doctor. Let him know the true problem, for you and for her. Get a support group that you can talk to. My mom-in-law had dimentia, and her hubby did not want to accept it, I was the first to notice. Find humor in the oddities and ignore what you can.
2006-12-29 03:55:43 · answer #5 · answered by northville 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get involved in church and get her involved in some groups for the elderly. I am sorry you feel so bogged down by the responsibility of caring for your mom. You know she is not who she used to be and you should be the one she can rely on. Pray about it and ask God to give you the patience and the knowledge you need. God Bless.
2006-12-29 03:47:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her, and say its making u really unhappy, it will work because no matter how deep u hav to dig, all mothers LOVE there kids!
2006-12-29 03:44:11 · answer #7 · answered by AliCat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take matters into ur own hands, tell her doctor what you've noticed and what your worried about...as for bragging, mothers will be mothers, and grandparents live to brag about their grandkids :) let her have her fun
2006-12-29 03:43:39 · answer #8 · answered by whoops :) 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋