I live in NJ and on 1 of my 2 sons will go with the father on weekends. The judge ordered my son who is 9 .?

Question

So the judge order my son to go but he has anxiety and depression issues. My son said he would kill himself if he had to go to his dad. So of course I keep receiving letters from my ex's attorney telling me I'd better send him or else. I'm sure there isn't any kind of abuse, he said he hates his dad. I have no clue why. He has never bonded with his Dad, but my younger one has. My son has good months, then really bad ones. He used to go to his Dad's for 2 nights, then 1 and now none. He is in therapy and all's I keep telling my ex is just wait until our son gets a grip on things. But no, he'd rather try to prove me a bad Mom. I can't get the words out of my head,"I'll kill myself if I have to go to Daddy's" How much trouble will I be in if I don't send him, I just want the OK from the doctor as to what to do. He has anxiety attacks. My heart is so broken. My attorney is bad as everyone else, she thinks I should force him. Please help.

Answer 1

You need to take your son to a psychiatrist now. And the thing your son said he will kill him self. He needs to say that in front of a doctor for you can have it on paper.And he can get the help he needs. That your son will kill himself if you let him go to his fathers. You need that on paper, you need your prove, that your son said this. You need to do this today.I feel you on this. It's not right that you have to put your son though this one. If worse comes to worse and you have to let your son go to his fathers. And when your son gets back, as a mother to mother I tell you, you look for any weird behaviours and when he takes a shower kind of look at his back side (butt) if any things wrong. You no want am saying. As his mother I know you ask your self why does he hate his father so much. Or sometimes a kid can hate the other parent because of the divorce and they don't understand why his dad had to move.Even though you say they were not close. But your son had a sense of a father there in the home. Any how for get want the attorney said, just for now, and get your son to a doctor today. And tell that doctor want your son said to you.And when your doctor puts it in writing that your son medically can't go to his fathers or they might put your son in a hospital, want ever the doctor does, want ever is on paper is your prove and you make a copy in give that to your attorney the same day. Girl you have to act fast, on this one. Something is going on with your son. And I know I don't know you, but it brakes my heart to know a 9yr boy has to go though this. I have two sons of my own. God be with you.

Answer 2

Talk to the Dad and tell him what your son said and why are you so worried about him. Get the doctor's statement submitted in court. If possible, change the attorney and file a petition in court to give your son some time to get his emotional health stabilized but if still the court and the Dad persists, ask them if you can accompany the son while his time with his Dad, so that you can take care of him. If it is not allowed, still be in the same city and stay in touch with your son on cellphone. Tell your son that he has to be strong and help you as if he doesn't go to spend the weekend with the Dad, you may face legal problems. Ensure him that you will always be him and that he can reach you whenever he wants and talk to you on phone too. Warn his Dad about his emotional condition and ask him to pay full-time attention to his care. Tell your son that despite all that has happened between you and his Dad, he still loves his son and pining to have him. This should reduce his anxiety and hatred. You may ask the Dad to take the son to any psychiatrist he wants and check whether you are trying to keep him away from him or if his son is really troubled. I think court should favour your case, because it is about child's health.

Answer 3

I would get a new attorney! I would also try to change your custody agreement temporarily and perhaps some family counseling is in order. If your sons father cares he will do anything to make sure that his son is comfortable with him... maybe if you son had the opportunity to confront his father in a safe setting he would be able to let go of some of his anxiety about the situation. I think that baby steps are in order. Not seeing his father at all is just going to make the problem worse, but maybe starting small, like lunch dates or trips to the park and then building up to day visits for a while and then eventually building back up to overnights, then weekends.

Answer 4

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Answer 5

i would not send my son if he didn't want to go he's the important one right now and no one else. forcing him to go would make him look you as the bad guy and nobody needs to be the bad one right now. your ex may be having a hard time dealing with the fact that your son doesn't want to see him but when he can say he'll kill himself if he goes there then there are issues that need to be addressed before he goes there. have your ex come a visite with him for a few hours on a weekend and then see how the realtionship grows do phone calls a few nights a week, there should be bound there and for whatever reason that bound is broken and needs to build up again and that takes time

Answer 6

You shouldn't force your 9-yr-old son to spend time with his father;you should sit him down and explain to him that he has an opportunity to form a relationship with his dad that could have a positive or negative impact on some facet of his life.Your son has issues with anxiety and depression and is currently is therapy to help with these issues.You are a good Mother to your son;your ex-husband doesn't seem to have to have a grip on things.If you think that you'll be in trouble for not sending the boy to his father's house,think about the trouble you'll be in if he kills himself at his dad's house.Check with your doctor to see if sending the boy to see his father is advisable.

Answer 7

I just went through this with my daughter. She did not want to go to her dads. I dont think a person (judge) and the lawyers should have the right to make this decision. I think it should be left up the the children. Obviously there is a reason he doesnt want to go. I wouldnt force him. Did the court appoint a law guardian for your son? They should have. In the courts there is a thing called a Lincoln hearing. It is where your son can go in front of the judge to tell him why he doesnt want to go. I would tell your lawyer or the law guardian to request one. It might help.

Answer 8

Talk to an attorney yourself. Was physical well being in discussion at the hearing? and/or apply for Emergence Custody against the father For Emergency Medical Evaluation purposes.

All Laws Have Amendments

Answer 9

dont even bother with lawyers anymore, they are all greedy and took money frm you, that lawyer that u hired is not fighting hard for ur case, the bad part is that now ur husband wants to take ur son away by having his lawyer threatning u. I think u should go with the judge(with a new lawyer on ur side) and request to have an psychiatrist talk to your child, maybe ur ex hurt him in any way the first times he visited him that ur child does not want to visit him anymore. Also ur son is too young to be thinking about suicide, so take him asap to the psych.

Answer 10

If your son in not usually an over-dramatic person, I would definitely make sure people start to take him serious. He could be suffering from post traumatic stress disorder or some other sort of emotional disorder. Suicidal thoughts in 9 year olds are not that common unless there is something wrong. What is his therapist saying?