Okay, guys I had a one night stand with someone that I use to babysit. Now, don't get the wrong impression. It has been it has been almost 16 years since I have seen him and he is now 24 and I am 35. he came back into my life just at the right time when my husband and I were having some small issues that I just could not speak to him about and this other guy listened and gave me the intamacy that I was looking for. We both had everything to lose so we decided to just be friends. I haven't hurd from him in about a year since the night happened and I still feel guilty. Should i tell my husband about the one night or keep it hidden forever?
2006-12-29 03:08:29 · 20 answers · asked by elainey66 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Keep it to yourself. If it is absolutely eating you up inside, confide in someone you can trust AND ONLY that one person. You had a short, emotional affair that turned into a physical affair. You didn't continue it, which is a good thing.
Keep this to yourself!!
2006-12-29 03:18:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to go to a marriage counsellor and discuss the deeper issues. This issue will come out. You are miserable living with the guilt, I can tell. I have been there. You have two choices, tell your husband and hope he forgives you, or divorce him and walk away and never look back. You are obviously unhappy.
You made your bed now you have to lie in it.
Infidelity is never an answer
2006-12-29 03:13:16 · answer #2 · answered by jake622003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmmm
Normally, I'm a complete advocate for the truth. You'd be able to find out just how strong your relationship is. You might be pleasantly surprised (after the setting in period) or you might find yourself single and in a position to take advantage of other opportunities.
However, from a guy's point of view - you said it's been over a year, right? I know you're feeling guilty, and you'd like a way to clear your conscience, but I wouldn't want to know. As long as it's over with, I think I'd be happier with the quote, "Ignorance is bliss."
2006-12-29 03:19:58 · answer #3 · answered by stevegoryan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Which was it? One or two nights? Do I hear three? Are you and your husband still having the issues you had when you and the kid you babysat got it on? Perhaps that is why you are feeling guilty. If things haven't changed in your marriage, you may be sucked into this trap again. Ponder that and good luck.
2006-12-29 04:55:50 · answer #4 · answered by Jeff W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you don't tell him, why would you even want to?
I could be wrong but I think the only reason you want to tell him is to try to get rid of the guilt you say you have.
Stop and think how you would feel if you were in your husbands position.
2006-12-29 03:15:03 · answer #5 · answered by Special Ethel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him... but you have waited so long.. don't be surprised if he divorces you. Which you have coming, and he has the right to do... All in all, he has the right to know, and the right to make his own decision. To lie and perpetuate that lie is wrong and you are not being forthright or fair to him... Give it up, and take the consequences no matter what they may be... Unless you are just into being decietful and cruel to people that you are claiming to love and care about....
2006-12-29 03:15:05 · answer #6 · answered by Phil 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if you havnt talked to him, and there is no way your husband is going to find out from anyone else... i would personally just keep it hidden, because if you tell him your probably going to ruin your husband and he is not going to trust you anymore. Just live and learn and never let it happen again! I usually wouldnt say lie about it, but since other guy is long gone and there is no way your husband is going to find out... i would say just swallow it!!
2006-12-29 03:14:04 · answer #7 · answered by smitty4626 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU know better than anyone the answer. Ask yourself: is this "guilt" going to grow into anxiety? CAN you just put it aside? What is your husband like? Will he forgive you? Or will it be divorce? In other words, how much is it REALLY, really bothering you?
2006-12-29 03:16:39 · answer #8 · answered by INDRAG? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
O.K. 16 years ago, he is 24 now. So that would have made him 8 yrs old. You better do your math again cause if this is true your a sicko!
2006-12-29 03:14:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how your relationship is now with your husband, if things are good now then no I wouldn't tell him, But if you think you just can't let it go, the guilt, then you probably should tell him. I know if it was me, I wouldn't do it. Good Luck.
2006-12-29 03:14:32 · answer #10 · answered by daisy83731 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋